Christmas, Christmas, time is near....and gone

It's another Xmas come and gone. This year, I didn't get to enjoy Xmas as much as part of the celebration and Xmas feeling came from the present-buying, clothes-shopping and the totally freaked out feeling that you have left out presents for someone. Which is just next to the anxiety of being TOTALLY broke.

Hey, Merry Xmas!

All said and done, it is a very special for me, always. Ever since I met my wife, Xmas gave me a new meaning and when I had kids, it was in a totally different stratosphere all together. This year, we had a BBQ party for my family members who visited from Kuantan and Singapore. We had something like 20 people putting up for 2 nights in my house. I have yet to check which part of my house is broken from the mayhem!

Despite the hassle and inconvenience of having my home invaded, I wouldn't have had it any other way. I love having them around and they are a lot of fun. So the party was also a great success with really well BBQ'd lamb, chicken, prawns and squid, with the normal stuff like rice, desserts and our Malaysian favourite, cendol! I had a cendol machine at my party! Quite cool hor!

I didn't get to take many pics since the BBQ smoke made the pics very fuzzy. Either that, I am not very good with my camera. I was also very pleasantly surprised to see the lights along Sunway Resort Hotel. Though it was not better than Orchard Road, it was a marked improvement definitely. The decor at Mid-Valley, Sunway Pyramid, 1Utama and Pavilion was also very creative and very warm. I am kinda sorry that I didn't get to see KLCC's decor.

Anyway, this year, I was more caught up with work. Having just came back from our family holiday, I had some work to do and was working until late on Xmas eve and almost miss Xmas mass. I am glad, I was still able to make time for my family during Xmas.

In this time of nostalgia, I wish that the worst of your tomorrows is like the best of your yesterdays.

Merry Xmas and Happy New 2010!!

Avatar - 15 years in the making

This was a real interesting movie and it was reported to be in the making for 15 years. Reason being the technology was not available for James Cameron to realize his story. I think that is just horse shit. I think James Cameron just got lazy and probably forgot about it because the story line was so predictably...well predictable. It was probably the year's most predictable and readable movie. You just knew what was going to happen next.

The bad guys cutting down the forest over some rare and expensive resource. Hero sent in to win over the locals who don't want to have anything to do with these short-ass, weird coloured and dress-funny creatures from the skies. Hero is part of the whole program until he meets and falls in love with native who JUST happens to be the chief's daughter and promised to another really cool and can-kick-your-ass dude!

He then turns and tries to save the locals and you just know he will fight the bad guy and you just know they will win.

That is not to say, the movie is without it's moments. The concept of the new planet and its inhabitants alone is very creative. These 10-feet tall, blue creatures can connect with most beings and trees in their planet. It's like they have this USB port that connects their beings with their surrounding animals and trees. Pretty cool on that! All in all a very enjoyable movie. There is a 3D version but I am not sure if that's a good idea as there are lots of movements, flying, running through forest real fast and action fighting.

The animals that they thought up was also very cool and superbly interesting. At least for me....or I could be just easily amused. Most of the ground animals have 6 legs. I am not sure what is the problem that they evolved to 6 legs.

With 3D, you may just barf all over the seat in front of you and just provide them with a shampoo of semi-chewed pop corns and still fizzling coke. So be strong if you wanna 3D. Otherwise stick to the conventional baby.

The CGI rendition did not replace the acting. In fact, CGI only provided the make up but the actors still moved and acted using motion sensors that captured their movement. That made the CGI rendering very realistic. So tech wise, it was pretty impressive.

So saddle and ride into the world of Pandora and the Ormaticaya (spelled something like this).

Retro Astro

This week's movie review takes us a little bit back to our childhood as we view the remake of a Japanese boy superhero, called Astro Boy. It started way back in the 50s and appeared in TV and print sometime in the 60s....which was WAYYYYYY before I was born. By the time I was reading and writing, the novelty kinda wore off.

Picture this. The superhero has hair combed as if it had horns, flew around topless (what is up with that???), had red boots and look suspiciously like a youth that is VERY confused about its gender. Is it a boy? Is it a girl? Why does it have fake long eyelashes?? Come on, it's supposed to Japanese and they are NOT supposed to have long eyelashes.

The movie was actually very enjoyable though superbly predictable. It had family values, it had heart, it had some light moments, some crying moments, fun for the whole family. It takes some time talking about the creation of Astro Boy and how he was trying to fit into a very weird future world. Seeing the best of the world and the worst of it and coming to terms with it.

Of course there's a bad guy and of course Astro Boy kicked some astro butt...literally. He has machine guns....on his butt!!! That I didn't remember.

I watched the show with my family and Mikey's 5 friends! Their seats were 2 rows from us, so that we don't inflict on our son the parent's curse of embarrassing him by breathing. So dutifully we sat far away and watched the show together. Our son is growing up..*sniff*.

Thank goodness he is not going to grow on Astro Boy and start running around the house topless with some cheap prostitute's red boots.

It's 14 years on

Today 2nd Dec is my 14th wedding anniversary. Yep, it's been that long. So what's the secret to a Chindian's happy marriage? There are 4 aspects that I would recommend and do allow me to share our Chindian secret to the world as this is one of our legacy to civilization.

A wedding is a one day celebration but a marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime but Hollywood spoils it for us. In the movies, it makes it look as if it's all a fairy tale and every wedding will turn out as a happily ever after kinda thing. Just like Cinderella. Now, don't get me wrong. I am all for a happy ending and Cinderella type of story and many times it does happen. However, for every Cinderella story there are millions of normal marriages that needs to be worked on.

For a marriage to work, you gotta want it bad because it's going to put up a fight and no one really knows how it will end up. The person you have been dating can change after the wedding and it's not because they are some Transylvanian vampire or king size dick head (though there are these permutations as well). People evolve and change but the main thing to understand is that while you may have new expectations, your partner may not. Don't take anything for granted because you are NOT living a Hollywood life. Maybe that's why so many celebrity marriages don't work....too much acting.

It was quite stormy for us at the beginning too. I thought I was too young and felt pushed into it. Also I just expected everything to fall into place but it doesn't. You are two different people suddenly thrown into the mix. You have different preferences for simple things like toothpaste or broom types and that can spark a war of epic proportions!! You can trust me. I'm a Chindian.

So both of us had our fair share of issues and fights and wars and showing each other the I-ignore-you look and giving each other the cold treatment. You know what's the best part? Kissing and making up. That's right! I said it!

After some months of fighting, we took a weekend off and had a very long and heart-to-heart chat about our issues and why I was acting like the world's stupidest mule and why was she acting like a prize winning pain-in-the-ass. It turns out, we just thought things were supposed to work out and when it didn't we took it out on each other. So that was cleared and we settled down to start a family and things kinda took off from there. Even if you have everything figured out right to the tee, there are still no guarantees.

Of course, our families and friends were there to support and most of the time, they didn't know what they were supporting. They were just there to keep us company, laugh, give subtle opinions over issues they didn't know existed. Most of the time, their company gave us a lot of insight and help us see things from very different vantage points.

Then our God's gifts came and they helped keep the foundation strong. Our children have been a great source of joy, love and inspiration. Being a husband and then a father was a whole new dimension for me and I glad Melissa, Michael and Amanda are there for me and sticking by me despite my failings. If I had to do it all over again, I will not change a single thing.

So what is the secret to a happy Chindian marriage??

1. Pray together
At home or church. Go together.

2. Laughter. Lots and lots of laughter (not to the point of insanity of course).
Learn to laugh at each other's mistakes, quirks and weirdness.

3. Compromising
Not your principles but on your likes and wants. You win some and you lose some.

4. Always, always, always, always age faster than your wife.

Good luck to you and I will write about our 15th year anniversary.

Congratulations Visitor No. 2000!

I don't know who you are unfortunately but visitor No. 2000 to my site is from Singapore. I am not sure if you visited here accidentally or you enjoy my postings or you came here to vandalize. Whatever your intentions, I wish you all the best, leave comments and I hope you enjoy my postings!!

Woohoo!! As a token of my appreciation, you can have the Hope Diamond or something from the Vatican Archives! Good day!

A Father Forgets.....

I was brought up in a Chindian family that was both strict and conventional. Which meant my dad and mom was not afraid of killing my brother or me.

"If I get rid of one, I will make another one. And I will tell the new one what an idiot the first one was." - Russell Peters

So, we didn't really get words of encouragement that didn't include threats of medieval torture at worst and disowning at best. We didn't really understand what disowning really meant. We were confused because we knew it meant we won't be staying with our parents, which wasn't all that bad, but could we come back for food and clean clothes?

We also didn't get hugs and comforted when we were sad, because they didn't really know how to do it. My son got his first major government exam this week and I was disappointed. He had 2 C's and I was very downcast. I mean, I had straight A's and I was not known to get C's. While I was not exactly a genius, I was well above average.

Then I came across and article in a book I was reading. It was written by Livingstone Larned. It was an article that opened my mind and my heart.

Listen, son; I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road, I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your friends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive - and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped.

You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding - this was my reward to your for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of yours was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy - a little boy!"

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

I did not realize the pain he has gone through and his own disappointment of having disappointed me. How unfair and easy I was to judge him as an adult when he is only a 12 year old boy, going through a Chinese education system when we don't speak Mandarin as our first language. When he had to sit through 2 additional papers than other schools and when he actually brought home 3 As and 2 Bs.

Tomorrow, I buying him his own 50" LED TV and PS3.

The End is NEAR!!! - 2012!!!

Be warned, the apocalypse is nigh! Three years from now, untold disaster will strike. Human civilisation will come crashing down and the world as we know it will shatter under the weight of our vanities. Our cities will crumble, as our culture grinds itself to dust and mass hysteria consumes the last paltry scraps of social sustainability.

No, it's not the London Olympics or Oprah Winfrey going off the air. It's just the end of the world as we know it.

Haha! I thought that was a good opening line.

To begin with, it was a week of fear and uncertainty for this Chindian family. First of all we were all waiting for Michael's UPSR results which is a child's first major government exams. It's for those who are in Standard 6 or Primary 6. So naturally as a 21st century 12 year old, this exam anxiety doesn't mean much to them. It's just an exam and our parents will understand regardless of their results. After all, look at dear old dad accidentally pouring salt into his coffee instead of sugar. So dad has a major anxiety attack lasting all week. You see, I was brought up in an environment that would have had my dad arrested for child abuse today. If your results were horrific, you will be punished and possibly murdered and buried. If caught, the judge who is also a father, would acquit my dad. Heck, he may ordered me exhumed, resurrected and killed again.

Secondly, despite that, we thought we will go watch a movie to see what the end of the world is like in 3 years. A movie called 2012.

The movie pays tribute to the Mayan culture that actually calculated this destruction or renewal of the earth, centuries ago. So in 2012 the planets will once again align as they do every 26,000 years, give or take. Which is cue for Gaia (look it up, I ain't gonna explain everything!!!) to shake some serious booty!

What supposedly happens is, the solar explosions on the surface of the sun bombards earth with radioactive super neutrinos which boils the earth's core. With the core boiling and its lava shifting all over the place, it loses it's ability to hold on to the surface's tectonic plates. Hence earth's plates starts shifting, and not the 1/2 inch per year but like 1,500 miles in 12 hours.

So what was once the Pacific ocean, becomes mainland China. The tsunamis bury everything up to Tibet and makes the sea level a few hundred feet below Everest's summit. And then, large giant trees come out to fight Orcs and Nazgul's so that the white wizard will not be able to support Saruman. To defeat him, we will have to wait for the Starship Enterprise which will send GI Joes into the earth's core to stop Gaia from kicking out butt.

SLAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP!!!! WOW!! Thanks, I needed that.

So the tectonic plates moves and boundaries as we know it are gone while a few thousand people float towards Africa to start a new life since Hollywood loves irony. It is also a concept about human greed and what they will do to save themselves. I won't give away some of the premise but save to say, it's a movie heavy on special effects. It's just as interesting (and similar) to Day After Tomorrow.

It retrospect, it probably wasn't so smart to watch 2012 in a week where my nerves were jangling at the end of my finger tips. It made me more nervous when reading about earthquakes in Indonesia or floods or fires or whatever disaster that was cropping up in the world. So this week, I decided not to watch the news or read the papers. So if they do decide to award Hindraf and every Indian in Malaysia USD 1 Million, drop me a note in my postbox. Provided the neurtinos don't fry you first.

MCA and MIC strikes again - The circus never left town

If you are like me, a Chindian that is proud to be Indian and Chinese, you can't help but read the comedy that is playing in the political arena of MCA and MIC. These are the 2 largest and oldest political parties that are supposed to represent the interest of the Chinese and Indian races. Most of you will ask, how is it in the 21st century and in a supposedly developing nation are we still looking at race-dependant parties?

That's because we have idiotic, money grubbing, murderers for our "leaders". I don't know what is worse, the leaders we have (which are more than qualified to sit with the lab mice in a laboratory for bubonic plague cure) or the people who keep putting them there.

So let me play out the simple scenario of these 2 circus'. MIC which is to stand for Indian rights, was going for an election to see if their hair-implanting leader of 22 years will stay around or yield to a worthy successor. There were rumours he will go, he will stay which of course turns out that he will stay. Since he will stay, no one wants to challenge him for the presidency. Why? Would you bite the hand that feeds you? So MIC, like its other race-based party becomes nothing more than a farce.

The battle is on for the vice-presidency which our dear MIC leader goes all out to support a quiet, puppet that will follow whatever he dictates. So all the party money spent on elections was just to put on a show for the benefit of those with the minds of amoebas.

MCA saw a battle of egos between president and deputy culminating in the removal of the deputy. This drama had it all and I thought only the Indians were capable of drama. First was the sex scandal of the deputy and his "lover" of many years being caught in a hotel room that he frequents every time he is with the lady. Now if that doesn't get you the "Deserved to get your ass busted" of the year award, I don't what else will.

Then there was the corruption scandal involving the Port Klang Free Trade Zone involving billions which until today, no one could surface the irregularities. So there was sex, corruption, greed, ego and a whole lot of kindergartner mud slinging.

During an EGM vote, both were voted out. For once, I thought those with brains and logic prevailed. New elections would be called and we will get new leaders who will work for the ideals and the people. If you think that, you have not been paying attention.

Of course they both DON'T resign. Of course they both don't leave. You can't depend on a simple thing like good ol' democracy and party charter to get good corrupted and highly sexed men out. So the PM, who is no saint either, stepped in and told everyone that these 2 clowns will stay and to hell with the vote of no-confidence, for the sake of party unity. So the party voted them out but they are kept in for the sake of the unity of a party who don't want them in the first place....hmmm....I guess if you have been controlled by your wife like our PM, you get your brain muddled and turn to oat-like substance.

BAd news is that we continue to be puppets of UMNO as long as the BN is in power and we continue to be opressed subtly and our country continues it slow descend down the drain. But the good news is that, we will continue to have good entertainment since the circus never left town.

Deepavali - The Festival of Light....It ain't for all Indians you know!

We celebrated Deepavali or Diwali last weekend and it is the most religous celebration in the Hindu calendar. Though you had no idea how many folks came up to me to wish me "Happy Diwali" just because I'm an Indian. Now I don't really blame these kind folks and I don't take offence to it. In fact I was hoping for some gifts and presents and I tell you, we Indians are the probably the cheapest race on the planet.

Every other celebration, kids get money, presents, new clothes, etc. Only in Diwali, the kids had to work like crazy, since Indian parents are afraid to kill their kids for disobedience, and all they get are some super shiny new clothes in colours that even a blind gay man wouldn't wear. You know why Indians are darker? It's because our colours are SO bright, we get burned.

There is no money changing hands though I hear times are changing now, it is still way behind the other more money-centirc races like us Chinese (see how I said us Indians earlier and then said us Chinese? Only a Chindian can do that. Don't try this at home).

So as a Chindian I am so super glad to have 2 celebrations, so that I have back up in case one of these screws up but my 2 celebrations don't include Diwali. Here is the simple difference. Diwali is a religious holiday, just like Wesak and Christmas. Chinese New Year is a cultural holiday which just marks the beginning of the lunar new year as it is with mid-autumn, early-winter solstice, late-spring onion and just right-summer sweat festivals.

That is why Chindians ALWAYS celebrate Chinese New Year and may either celebrate Christmas, Diwali or Wesak, depending on religion. So for me it's Christmas and Chinese New Year and all the other Christian and Chinese seasonal holidays. Because I look like a Malay, I could do Hari Raya or Eid Fitri as well. Pretty cool for us actually.

I would have admitted to celebrating Diwali if it involved someone giving me money. So thanks to my friends who sent me countless SMS wishes, I wish all the best and in future, read about our holidays!!

One Wedding, one mooncake festival and a funeral

It was a relatively busy weekend for our family and there were some fun things that happened. Starting with Melissa's aunt who passed away. It was totally ok since she was 80, sick and suffering for the last 2 months and quite hate-able. So there wasn't any sorrow though anyone dying is never a time for celebrations....normally. So I had to take my mom-in-law who came all the way from Kuantan to the funeral. For those of you who have not attended a Chinese funeral, the wake goes on for an odd number of days with 3 days being the minimum. So it can go on for 3,5,7, days...you get the picture.

So after work and dinner, we arrived around 9pm and were greeted by her cousins whom we almost never meet. In a Chinese family, the only time you see ALL of the family members is during a funeral. Not Chinese New Year, not birthdays, not weddings but at funerals.

So we sat somberly, as how Catholics are supposed to. Once a cousin of mine mentioned that her Catholic relatives were very quiet during a wedding, so it must be that all Catholics are somber. That's like saying Attila the Hun was a peace loving man, Genghis Khan loves to knit, Gandhi likes to stick sharp, hot metal objects through the rectum of poor peasants and Vlad the Impaler likes cranberry juice! Ok, so we don't impale or hang or burn people...usually, but one thing we Catholics aren't is somber. Especially those Chindian ones.

The next thing we knew at the funeral, the "somber" Catholic Chindian was recounting stories about Chindians, about teaching my wife how to cycle or how paranoid she can be and about the funny episodes that just happen around me. I was holding a mini stand-up comic show. Our table grew bigger with more people sitting around, louder and funnier. Best of, there were no alcohol involved!

The next day, we decided to have a Lantern walk around our park with my immediate and extended family seeing that it was the Mid-Autumn Festival or Mooncake Festival. We had a mini picnic with mooncake (though we almost didn't have mooncake during mooncake festival. Can you imagine the sacrilege??), dried pork, fizzie drinks and a lot of snacks. We hung around chatting, telling tales of others, teasing one of my cousins who insisted that we can attended any of our relatives' parties even though we aren't invited, just we because we are related. I am glad I like this cousin, so she can gate crash my parties anytime. I feel sorry for those who aren't close and may wonder, who is this tall, gangly and slightly scrawny girl coming to my party of which I didn't invite? Oh the stress!!! It lead to one us commenting that she may have been adopted. It was a cruel thing to say but if you were there, you'd understand.

So we lit candles, burned up some paper lanterns, kids walked around wondering what the fuss was all about, while we adults laughed, joked and had a good time. We always say these outings are for the kids, who actually just wanted to stay home with their cousins and play XBox and Wii. I headed to the funeral around 11pm again and the crowd was still waiting for me to continue my stories. So lantern walk was hilarious and funeral was good plus I built relationship with a cousin-in-law who lives in Beijing and got invited to stay at his house, anytime! Not bad for a somber Catholic.

The following day, a cousin got married. It was a simple wedding but I got to meet a lot of relatives whom I have not seen in ages as well. So it was time to bring out the show even though my family are general just fun people and didn't need my show. The highlight of the evening was when my Chindian brother, who took up the WHOLE stage (albeit it was a small stage but to take up the WHOLE stage??!!) belted 2 songs by Beyond. Which is a big deal since Beyond's songs are not easy to sing and they are in Cantonese and my brother can't read Chinese. So it's was all from memory.

He was great! One Indian man in the crowd immediately got up and cheered and clapped. He even joined in the singing. You know when you watch those Indian Bollywood movies and you see whole villages suddenly getting up and joining the hero in song and dance, and doing it all in unison? It's all true. We can't help it. It's an Indian thing. We see another Indian singing or dancing and that's our cue to jump in with our dancing shoes. It's in our genes....and also the Banggara can be done by anyone even with 2 left feet and the motor skills or a watermelon. If more alcohol was involved and we belted an Indian song, this guy would have just adopted us.

So it was a good weekend of fun though I was monetarily poorer for it, I connected with a lot of my family. At my funeral, there will be mooncake eating, crotch grabbing, lantern walking and Banggara dancing!!