Since the dawn of time, men....ok...people have always had that urge to settle down in some damp cave, eating a mastodon part and just off the cuff decides to pack up and move. The male will say, "Come on Maureen, let's head on down to over yonder hills and see what we'll find." That's because even though they didn't speak English, they thought it! And it was fine with Maureen since she has come to the point where if she saw another mastodon part, she was going to poke both her eyes with mastodon bones! So off they went, with no planning or map or destination and immediately gets chomped up by T-Rex from Jurassic Park!
But little setbacks like that never put us off. So ever since the dawn of time, we have been traipsing the globe searching for new places to explore, new cultures to hate, introduce new bacteria and food to damage our digestive system, new service staff to treat us badly, new tacky souvenirs to buy which will break the moment we get home, learn new words for "bleeding" and "hospitals", new ways to be conned and all other travel adventures that would make us want to French-kiss our doormats when we finally get home.
HAHA! I am of coz just kidding! I am a big fan of holidaying even though my choices have changed over the years. During our teenage years, our choices pretty much depended on our budget and hence we almost always chose to head out into nature, camping, back packing or just some budget hostel. It was also a good time to impress the girls with your woodland skills. This is why I didn't get any girls when I was budgetly-challenged since my woodland skills was limited to finding a spider and then jumping on my best friend and screaming like a little girl. Oh and my best friend is a girl.
At this juncture of my life, I have lost the need to "connect" with nature and have woodland insects crawl all over me sucking my blood or laying tiny eggs on my head and then hatching to millions of baby insects using my head as their buffet line! I am also very used to certain luxuries like running water, a working WC, air conditioning and toilet paper. I am not particularly interested in taking a dump in a hole in the ground or using leaves to wipe after or even using toilet paper that can deflect bullets from small calibre guns!
So when we have decided to embrace our primal need to travel, what do we need to look out for? I can give you some advice:-
1) Planning
You have to plan! This is non-negotiable. I know there are people who are carefree and will just get up, pack and head out the door, thumb sticking out and hitch hiking into the adventurous and unknown. These people are now passing through the digestive tracts of wolves and other woodland "creatures". Plan where you want to go, for how long and who are you going with. Best go with someone rich or at least plan to meet such person on the trip.
2) Travel Budget
This is by far the most crucial part seeing that even if you are going to Tibet to cleanse your soul for the greater good, you still need money! The confusing thing though is the forex. The exchange rates was design by people who hate seeing you having a good time or just hate people in general. You can never tell the actual amount you are exchanging especially in countries where the smallest denomination is in the thousands!! You to to Indonesia or one of the Indochinese nations and you may leave a tip that will allow the waiter to retire and maybe even buy a mansion or a total of 20 cents! Who can say? So decide what your budget will be and how much you want to take with you. Factor in incidental expenses like for bribing.
3) Accommodations
You may want to spend a bit more on this one. I am not keen to be cheap in accommodations by staying in a roach infested hostel or the Norman Bates motel where you are sharing a communal bathroom with the whole village. It doesn't have to be a Shangri-La or a 5-star hotel but attached bathroom, clean sheets (I will settle for no visible stains or moving live creatures), fan (at least) and TV (I don't even know how it is legal not to have TV) are essentials.
4) Car rental
Depending on how big a group, you want to ensure that you have a vehicle that is not breaking the law but I think bending it is ok. Once when were in Australia, we had to take a station wagon for 6 even though there were 3 adults since the 2 kids need a seat of their own, by law. My 3 year old son was playing in the back of the station wagon and threw up so that our car was smelling as if a pack of rats died in it for 3 weeks with its bowels open. We had to drive like dogs, with our heads hanging out. If we bent the rules and took the 5-seater car, there would have been NO throwing up.
5) Travel agent
You will need one to help you since you have not been there. Ironically neither has most travel agents. I am very lucky that my cousin KLY's wife, Caryn is an excellent planner. She can be anal but we can always rest assured that she would have had everything thought out, compared, negotiated, fought over (although she denies she never argues or scolds anyone. Since she can put me on the wings of the plane when we travel, who am I to argue) and time measured so that it will all fall in place. I can introduce her to you but for a fee!
6) Language
It is important that you go to a place where they can at least understand one language you can speak. Otherwise, do learn some phrases that will be useful like "Where is the toilet?", "Where is the police station?", "Where can I find a doctor?", "Does this food have any intestinal parts in it?", etc.
So traveling can be fun when you plan, leave room for a some spontaneity and most of all find someone else to pay. Have fun and remember the famous 13th century tourist called Marco Polo who, having managed against all odds to cross the deserts of the middle east and Persia, the plateau of Pamir, the forbidden regions of Kashgar, Yarkand, Khotan, the mountainous Kashmir, braving the hot, dry and perilous Taklamakan and Gobi Deserts and finally reaching the Great Kublai Khan's palace in Shang Tu China uttered the words that has been our credo and basis of travelers ever since "What do you mean you don't have my reservations???".
Friday, October 31, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Going Dutch!
When in Microsoft, I got to go to Europe on one of our company trips. That was in 1997. The downside was that while we were there, our currency crisis hit us very hard and we watched our currency drop while in Holland. While we got a little richer with all the currency we held, it was a damper on our holidays but still...what a trip!
While I said Europe, we actually went to Holland and Germany la. We could take our spouses with us and my wife and I took our second honeymoon (of course if you ask her, we still haven't gone on our honeymoon yet. All those trips we took were either company trips or with other family members so it doesn't count).
Mikey was only 4 months old when we decided not to miss this trip. It was the hardest thing we had to do and leaving our children is still one of the hardest things we had to do. Hence, we haven't taken any trips without our kids since then, unless it was a single trip, which means at least one of us stays with the kids. I think we spent more money and time calling back then shopping in Holland.
We first landed in Amsterdam exiting the new and modern Schipol Airport (for 1997 la). We then tasted our first Dutch food and it was absolutely horrible. I am convinced that we were shortchanged by our tour guide. We had pea and ham soup which looked as if a duck got very sick in it and salt in the sea exploded and got siphoned to my single bowl of soup!
Every day breakfast was about a zillion versions of ham and a few million varieties of bread. EVERY MORNING!! One of my friends brought mee in a cup and after the first week, it never smelled so good! However, apart from that first meal and EVERY breakfast, other meals were not too bad. We had Chinese (which was ok) and a few Indonesian meals. In case you forgot your history, the Dutch colonized Indonesia until 1946 and there are many Indonesians in Holland as with Surinamese and other Caribbean country folks.
Amsterdam was really cool! Old buildings and lots and lots of sex-related stuff, like the famous red-light district and a sex museum! People are really cool about it. I accidentally walked into one of those aquariums and the lady was very nonchalant and helpful. I told her it was an accident and I thought it was a restaurant and my wife was with me. She answered in a matter-of-fact voice saying, "Well if we include your wife, it will extra.". Well to hell with that! Charge me extra!!! I stormed out, my heart beating faster than a hummingbird's wings!!
The Dutch were also VERY friendly. When we were in Rotterdam, we were put up in a suburb so that our hotel was cheaper. So a bunch of us decided to take a train to town for the night. When we got to the train station, the ticket kiosk was either in Flemish or German (who knows??). So we looked hopelessly lost and was staring at it when a boy of about 13 who was stoned from marijuana came to ask if we needed help.
He was so bloody stoned, he couldn't really talk properly or understand us and went to ask someone else. Even when they are stoned, they try to help. This GORGEOUS girl comes to us and helps us all buy tickets. We took the train with her and one of my buddies tried to chat her up. We told her we were looking for a watering hole and asked for directions. She decided it was too much trouble to tell us and decided to show us. We thought it was only polite we bought her a drink and she followed 6 total strangers to the street with bars and we had a great time. She left with some guy she met there. I hope she is all right!! Anyway, I thought that was so cool of her.
There are a lot of cool stuff in Holland but some things that stuck with me:-
1) Amsterdam was really old and very 16th century, so much history! There was a sex museum for goodness sake!!
2) Protecting the North Sea from flooding the whole country is a engineering miracle.
3) There is a town called Volendam by the sea which was SOOOO quaint, it was like a painting come to life. The roads were for pedestrians only and food was actually good!
4) In Madurodam, we have the Land of Lilliputian. Lilliput is the town of small people that Gulliver ended up in the book "Gulliver's Travel". If you don't know that book, GOOGLE IT! Everything was the miniature of a real building.
5) There was a town outside Rotterdam where everything was colonial 18th century Dutch. We learned to churn butter, make cheese, ride a unicycle, reel in the boat into the boat house and had colonial food. We also did archery and visited old buildings like the barber and apothecary.
6) Alkmaar had one of the best experience you can get by being in a market....a cheese market. It was great.
7) Unfortunately when we were there, it was not tulip season so we only saw tulips at a flower exchange!
8) There was a town we passed by called Amstelveen which my god-brother Alex thought was a really cool swear word. We have been using that to swear whenever in front of our kids.
9) The canals were also used as streets and there are many boathouses along the canals.
10) Lots of marijuana places very covertly names as "Koffee Places" or "Kofi House" (not that we tried...really la!)
11) Visit Coster Diamonds, one of the world's most well known diamond establishment and TOTALLY out of my league! (Note : Don't bring any women there!!!)
12) Castles and Windmills showed so much history and culture...also a GREAT place to play hide and seek.
I will share more on Germany next and if you write me a confidential note with enough "encouragement", I may remember the name of that nice lady at the aquarium.
While I said Europe, we actually went to Holland and Germany la. We could take our spouses with us and my wife and I took our second honeymoon (of course if you ask her, we still haven't gone on our honeymoon yet. All those trips we took were either company trips or with other family members so it doesn't count).
Mikey was only 4 months old when we decided not to miss this trip. It was the hardest thing we had to do and leaving our children is still one of the hardest things we had to do. Hence, we haven't taken any trips without our kids since then, unless it was a single trip, which means at least one of us stays with the kids. I think we spent more money and time calling back then shopping in Holland.
We first landed in Amsterdam exiting the new and modern Schipol Airport (for 1997 la). We then tasted our first Dutch food and it was absolutely horrible. I am convinced that we were shortchanged by our tour guide. We had pea and ham soup which looked as if a duck got very sick in it and salt in the sea exploded and got siphoned to my single bowl of soup!
Every day breakfast was about a zillion versions of ham and a few million varieties of bread. EVERY MORNING!! One of my friends brought mee in a cup and after the first week, it never smelled so good! However, apart from that first meal and EVERY breakfast, other meals were not too bad. We had Chinese (which was ok) and a few Indonesian meals. In case you forgot your history, the Dutch colonized Indonesia until 1946 and there are many Indonesians in Holland as with Surinamese and other Caribbean country folks.
Amsterdam was really cool! Old buildings and lots and lots of sex-related stuff, like the famous red-light district and a sex museum! People are really cool about it. I accidentally walked into one of those aquariums and the lady was very nonchalant and helpful. I told her it was an accident and I thought it was a restaurant and my wife was with me. She answered in a matter-of-fact voice saying, "Well if we include your wife, it will extra.". Well to hell with that! Charge me extra!!! I stormed out, my heart beating faster than a hummingbird's wings!!
The Dutch were also VERY friendly. When we were in Rotterdam, we were put up in a suburb so that our hotel was cheaper. So a bunch of us decided to take a train to town for the night. When we got to the train station, the ticket kiosk was either in Flemish or German (who knows??). So we looked hopelessly lost and was staring at it when a boy of about 13 who was stoned from marijuana came to ask if we needed help.
He was so bloody stoned, he couldn't really talk properly or understand us and went to ask someone else. Even when they are stoned, they try to help. This GORGEOUS girl comes to us and helps us all buy tickets. We took the train with her and one of my buddies tried to chat her up. We told her we were looking for a watering hole and asked for directions. She decided it was too much trouble to tell us and decided to show us. We thought it was only polite we bought her a drink and she followed 6 total strangers to the street with bars and we had a great time. She left with some guy she met there. I hope she is all right!! Anyway, I thought that was so cool of her.
There are a lot of cool stuff in Holland but some things that stuck with me:-
1) Amsterdam was really old and very 16th century, so much history! There was a sex museum for goodness sake!!
2) Protecting the North Sea from flooding the whole country is a engineering miracle.
3) There is a town called Volendam by the sea which was SOOOO quaint, it was like a painting come to life. The roads were for pedestrians only and food was actually good!
4) In Madurodam, we have the Land of Lilliputian. Lilliput is the town of small people that Gulliver ended up in the book "Gulliver's Travel". If you don't know that book, GOOGLE IT! Everything was the miniature of a real building.
5) There was a town outside Rotterdam where everything was colonial 18th century Dutch. We learned to churn butter, make cheese, ride a unicycle, reel in the boat into the boat house and had colonial food. We also did archery and visited old buildings like the barber and apothecary.
6) Alkmaar had one of the best experience you can get by being in a market....a cheese market. It was great.
7) Unfortunately when we were there, it was not tulip season so we only saw tulips at a flower exchange!
8) There was a town we passed by called Amstelveen which my god-brother Alex thought was a really cool swear word. We have been using that to swear whenever in front of our kids.
9) The canals were also used as streets and there are many boathouses along the canals.
10) Lots of marijuana places very covertly names as "Koffee Places" or "Kofi House" (not that we tried...really la!)
11) Visit Coster Diamonds, one of the world's most well known diamond establishment and TOTALLY out of my league! (Note : Don't bring any women there!!!)
12) Castles and Windmills showed so much history and culture...also a GREAT place to play hide and seek.
I will share more on Germany next and if you write me a confidential note with enough "encouragement", I may remember the name of that nice lady at the aquarium.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Omigawd! James Bond can't sing!!!
You know, sometimes God can be fair. You can have looks, character, fame, fortune and then croak like a toad calling for its mate on a full moon night. I watched Mamma Mia - the movie this weekend. It was a real fun movie and not just strictly for ABBA fans. If you don't know the songs, you may still have a good time and a good laugh. It was also very clear that the cast had a great time as well. You may not know all the cast but they had crowd pullers like Pierce Brosnan, Meryl Streep and Colin Firth.
From all that, I learnt that God can be fair. He gave Pierce Brosnan great looks, debonair outlook, charming character and of course the chance to play one of the greatest known roles in movie history, James Bond. But James Bond CAN'T SING!!!
If this is how he sang, he didn't need all those gadgets from Q to get rid of the bad guys. Just hook up the PA and sing ABBA songs!!
Despite that, I do recommend the movie highly. If may be more fun to google ABBA and check our their songs before going for the movie. That is if you are so musically inept and only have demented ears for the mutated noise you call songs that we have these days! In case you didn't know, ABBA is still one of the biggest selling artists having even beaten one of the Beatles records...can't remember which one. And if you don't know who the Beatles are, I know some highly available drugs that can put you out of your misery!
Not emotional, just stating a fact. (Did I just sound like my Dad??)
ABBA songs are also quite fun and were not as lame as most 70s' songs. Mamma Mia was able to take their choice of ABBA songs and fit it into the movie's story line and characters. There was minimal alteration to the lyrics and the location was one of the glorious Greek islands. Isolated, falling apart, hardly any modern appliances and stairs that go all the way up and down the rocks on the island.
There was a wedding scene where the church was perched on the top of such rocks. It was so long and steep that you can have a church service or wedding and very likely have a funeral of one of the faint hearted churchgoer trying to reach the church. It really tested your faith and resolve of going to church every Sunday and I betcha God will give extra points for all these parishioners.
At one point, the cinema was singing along to the movie to songs like "Dancing Queen", "Super Trouper" and title song "Mamma Mia". See??? The Indian culture is again playing a very important role in our artistic lives! Which other race you know will suddenly break into song with the rest of the village or people around you following in perfect dance step and rhythm?? Now we are seeing it even in small Greek island villages!!
I truly enjoyed singing along and had loads of fun. It starts out quite slow and grows into you. Actually, Mr Brosnan did not do VERY badly. He sang 3 songs, where 2 of them was with others but he did have a duet with Meryl Streep doing the song SOS. That was quite unbearable. Maybe its because we never saw him sang before or maybe the role of James Bond (and for those older and remember Remington Steele) never put him in that light. Also maybe he is a poor singer....ok it was quite bad. It was like running your nails across a blackboard and even banshees were committing mass suicide!!
At the end, don't be too hasty to leave the cinema yet. There is one more surprise from Mr Brosnan. So, great on Pierce for trying and actually doing a relatively good job but please don't give up your day job just yet!
From all that, I learnt that God can be fair. He gave Pierce Brosnan great looks, debonair outlook, charming character and of course the chance to play one of the greatest known roles in movie history, James Bond. But James Bond CAN'T SING!!!
If this is how he sang, he didn't need all those gadgets from Q to get rid of the bad guys. Just hook up the PA and sing ABBA songs!!
Despite that, I do recommend the movie highly. If may be more fun to google ABBA and check our their songs before going for the movie. That is if you are so musically inept and only have demented ears for the mutated noise you call songs that we have these days! In case you didn't know, ABBA is still one of the biggest selling artists having even beaten one of the Beatles records...can't remember which one. And if you don't know who the Beatles are, I know some highly available drugs that can put you out of your misery!
Not emotional, just stating a fact. (Did I just sound like my Dad??)
ABBA songs are also quite fun and were not as lame as most 70s' songs. Mamma Mia was able to take their choice of ABBA songs and fit it into the movie's story line and characters. There was minimal alteration to the lyrics and the location was one of the glorious Greek islands. Isolated, falling apart, hardly any modern appliances and stairs that go all the way up and down the rocks on the island.
There was a wedding scene where the church was perched on the top of such rocks. It was so long and steep that you can have a church service or wedding and very likely have a funeral of one of the faint hearted churchgoer trying to reach the church. It really tested your faith and resolve of going to church every Sunday and I betcha God will give extra points for all these parishioners.
At one point, the cinema was singing along to the movie to songs like "Dancing Queen", "Super Trouper" and title song "Mamma Mia". See??? The Indian culture is again playing a very important role in our artistic lives! Which other race you know will suddenly break into song with the rest of the village or people around you following in perfect dance step and rhythm?? Now we are seeing it even in small Greek island villages!!
I truly enjoyed singing along and had loads of fun. It starts out quite slow and grows into you. Actually, Mr Brosnan did not do VERY badly. He sang 3 songs, where 2 of them was with others but he did have a duet with Meryl Streep doing the song SOS. That was quite unbearable. Maybe its because we never saw him sang before or maybe the role of James Bond (and for those older and remember Remington Steele) never put him in that light. Also maybe he is a poor singer....ok it was quite bad. It was like running your nails across a blackboard and even banshees were committing mass suicide!!
At the end, don't be too hasty to leave the cinema yet. There is one more surprise from Mr Brosnan. So, great on Pierce for trying and actually doing a relatively good job but please don't give up your day job just yet!
Pakistan in amateur photo
I thought I should show some photos of Lahore, Pakistan. It shows a country that has potential but has very serious infrastructure issues. People who are friendly and rustic but misunderstood. There are more photos on my Live! spaces at http://alwynmagic.spaces.live.com. Here are some to whet your appetite. Enjoy!
Just leaving Alla Iqbal International Airport, Lahore just before the sand storm.
Me standing in front of Pearl Continental, our 5-star hotel.
Life going by in Lahore streets where men trade their wares.
You can't say they don't have colour! That's a bus.
Here is another utilizing all space.
I don't know why I find a donkey-pulling cart so fascinating but just didn't expect to see this in a 8 million population city.
Entrance to the old fort in the old city. The entrance was made for elephants to go through.
The pillars of the king's courtyard is pure marble.
Red Mosque at night
Buying carpets from the roadside with my Pakistani colleague and Nenci.
Dinner at one of my favourite restaurants. Pity i forgot the name.
It's the buffet line AND kitchen with no ventilation!
Just leaving Alla Iqbal International Airport, Lahore just before the sand storm.
Me standing in front of Pearl Continental, our 5-star hotel.
Life going by in Lahore streets where men trade their wares.
You can't say they don't have colour! That's a bus.
Here is another utilizing all space.
I don't know why I find a donkey-pulling cart so fascinating but just didn't expect to see this in a 8 million population city.
Entrance to the old fort in the old city. The entrance was made for elephants to go through.
The pillars of the king's courtyard is pure marble.
Red Mosque at night
Buying carpets from the roadside with my Pakistani colleague and Nenci.
Dinner at one of my favourite restaurants. Pity i forgot the name.
It's the buffet line AND kitchen with no ventilation!Sunday, October 26, 2008
Congratulations Datuk Nicol Ann David!
Nicol seen here with the latest World Open championship.I don't know about you but we at the David family think she is HOT! She is HOT because of her talent, tenacity and sheer determination to be able to top a world sport! Also the Duracell Bunny looks great la!!
I think she is our longest serving world No 1 in any sport. The only other sport that we did well was Badminton and we did have world champions in some of these names like Punch Gunalan, Eddy Choong, Tan Aik Huang, Ng Boon Bee, the Sidek brothers and latest is Lee Choong Wei. However, none of the so dominated the sport like how Nicol has. She has been the world No 1 ladies squash player coming to 3 years straight this December. That is almost as dominant as any world class player like Pete Sampras, Roger Federer or Tiger Woods. In squash, such dominance was never seen since the days of Jahanghir Khan and Jansher Khan.
Well done Nicol! You have done us proud and we wish for your continuing success in your field. Ohh...did I mention she is a Chindian as well?
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Pakistan - victim of western propaganda or just a crazy place?
When I was working in SAP, once of the countries under my care was Pakistan. Don't ask me why Pakistan was managed by Malaysia but it did. I worked very to get it out of my care, but to no avail. I wanted to quit because of it. I mean I watch CNN and BBC quite diligently and its a country in constant turmoil. Everyone's shouting, angry, burning tires and cars because they are unemployed and the whole government is corrupt. Isn't that what CNN and all the western media says? If you can't trust these guys, who can you trust?? Right?? WRONG!!!! That is SOOOOO WRONG!!!
My first trip to Pakistan was so filled with dread. I was on a SIA flight to Lahore and I was just cursing and wishing that live Jurassic-Park-sized maggots were feasting on my bosses brains right at that moment! The flight wasn't full, thank goodness for that because even with a half full flight, the aroma from my fellow passengers are just to die with, not for!!! I am not making this up but on the next flight, we had Vicks and "Minyak Angin Cap Kapak". To my foreign readers, its an ointment to relieve headaches, colds and many other ailments. Older people swear by it and for us, it kept our senses sane. Google it!!
I was with Nenci (yes that's how she bloody spells it), our Campaign Manager and my other friend and colleague Chee Keong (CK) was already there training our partners. I was half expecting him to be losing a limb or at least having bruises when I met him. We landed and we was immediately assaulted by this hot gust of wind on the air bridge. Immigration had many armed guards and most of them look like they can blow something up or relatives of Osama. Talk about stereotyping. I could feel my spirits sinking by the minute.
When we finally got out of the airport with our luggage intact (I was expecting to lose half my luggage actually), we were whisked away by our hotel transport. At that moment went we stepped out, Lahore was hit by a 100km/h sand storm. If you have never been in a sand storm, let me describe in to the best of my abilities as an English educated amateur writer and that is, it's no fun.
We had to hang on to each other while clinging to our suitcases and had sand blown into every orifice on our face. I have never had fine sand up my nostrils before. Anyway, the hotel was a 5-star hotel called Pearl Continental and we were put up in a USD800 a night suite. Thank you SAP!!! The security was a nuisance and the service lousy for a place of such stature. Maybe they didn't like us. But the room was gorgeous and they had 800+ channels on cable including the Playgirl channel! Hey there were nude girls, I ain't gonna complain!
Anyway, I actually REALLY enjoyed Lahore. When I was finally dragged out to some of the touristy places, I was pleasantly surprised (of course I expected to be assaulted, robbed or maybe even blown up so anything less than that including someone spitting at me, would have made me very happy). People were friendly, they love Malaysians especially Tun Dr Mahathir. They all think he is a genuine statesman and hero. In the shops, they were very hospitable and I felt very guilty stereotyping them as terrorist or petty thieves.
I bought a lot of shirts and Punjabi clothes for my wife. It was cheap and of very good quality. The food was really good too. Mostly grilled and tandoor stuff pretty much Northern Indian style but these people can't cook vegetables at all. It's either raw or pickled. Apparently vegetables are for peasants and it is considered rude to serve a guest vegetables instead of meat and seeing that my host were very gracious, I had meat ALL the way.
There were some characteristics that made Lahoris (or maybe it is the whole of Pakistan) very different. For starters, meal times are normally pushed back. Breakfast is normally at 9am and work typically starts at 10am, even though officially it starts at 9am. Lunch is around 2.30 to 3pm and dinner is after 8.30 to 9pm. So you can imagine our surprised when we went to the hotel restaurant at 7.30pm for dinner and it is not opened. But being hospitable, they immediately sat us down and made the kitchen cook faster. Dinner typically finishes at 11pm and we go to bed around 1am. However, I would not recommend going into any roadside restaurant.
Do look for establishments of some reputation, with air conditioning and good service. There are many and they need not be expensive. There is a restaurant called Freddy's that servers very good lamb and another which serves a buffet of Lahori dishes. I can't remember the name but the restaurant resembles a village mud house. Another great place to go is called Cuckoo's Nest and it is in the old city with where we sat at the rooftop overlooking the old fort. That was so like one of those movie settings where you see people chillin' out at the rooftop.
Chinese women are a novelty. They will stare and come very close to you as they don't seem to understand personal space. Some even took pictures clandestinely, pretty much like how a secret agent on surveillance would do. Next time, I was going to put Nenci on a chair and ask for payment for every photo taken with her. She was treated like royalty into any shop we stepped into.
While it is not considered rude to bare your arms, it is frowned upon to wear shorts. No one wears shorts including the guys or even when it was about 45 degree C! Another weird thing is that the men from the poorer category, tend to hold hands and pinkies. I seriously don't understand this!!!!
I made very good friends in Lahore and I truly enjoyed my stay there being totally safe from any harm. However, that was only the first 2 trips. Next ones were pretty scary but until then, I am going to put on my dhoti, check out some tandoori chicken and sing Kuch Kuch Hota Hai! AND STOP TOUCHING MY HAND!!!!
My first trip to Pakistan was so filled with dread. I was on a SIA flight to Lahore and I was just cursing and wishing that live Jurassic-Park-sized maggots were feasting on my bosses brains right at that moment! The flight wasn't full, thank goodness for that because even with a half full flight, the aroma from my fellow passengers are just to die with, not for!!! I am not making this up but on the next flight, we had Vicks and "Minyak Angin Cap Kapak". To my foreign readers, its an ointment to relieve headaches, colds and many other ailments. Older people swear by it and for us, it kept our senses sane. Google it!!
I was with Nenci (yes that's how she bloody spells it), our Campaign Manager and my other friend and colleague Chee Keong (CK) was already there training our partners. I was half expecting him to be losing a limb or at least having bruises when I met him. We landed and we was immediately assaulted by this hot gust of wind on the air bridge. Immigration had many armed guards and most of them look like they can blow something up or relatives of Osama. Talk about stereotyping. I could feel my spirits sinking by the minute.
When we finally got out of the airport with our luggage intact (I was expecting to lose half my luggage actually), we were whisked away by our hotel transport. At that moment went we stepped out, Lahore was hit by a 100km/h sand storm. If you have never been in a sand storm, let me describe in to the best of my abilities as an English educated amateur writer and that is, it's no fun.
We had to hang on to each other while clinging to our suitcases and had sand blown into every orifice on our face. I have never had fine sand up my nostrils before. Anyway, the hotel was a 5-star hotel called Pearl Continental and we were put up in a USD800 a night suite. Thank you SAP!!! The security was a nuisance and the service lousy for a place of such stature. Maybe they didn't like us. But the room was gorgeous and they had 800+ channels on cable including the Playgirl channel! Hey there were nude girls, I ain't gonna complain!
Anyway, I actually REALLY enjoyed Lahore. When I was finally dragged out to some of the touristy places, I was pleasantly surprised (of course I expected to be assaulted, robbed or maybe even blown up so anything less than that including someone spitting at me, would have made me very happy). People were friendly, they love Malaysians especially Tun Dr Mahathir. They all think he is a genuine statesman and hero. In the shops, they were very hospitable and I felt very guilty stereotyping them as terrorist or petty thieves.
I bought a lot of shirts and Punjabi clothes for my wife. It was cheap and of very good quality. The food was really good too. Mostly grilled and tandoor stuff pretty much Northern Indian style but these people can't cook vegetables at all. It's either raw or pickled. Apparently vegetables are for peasants and it is considered rude to serve a guest vegetables instead of meat and seeing that my host were very gracious, I had meat ALL the way.
There were some characteristics that made Lahoris (or maybe it is the whole of Pakistan) very different. For starters, meal times are normally pushed back. Breakfast is normally at 9am and work typically starts at 10am, even though officially it starts at 9am. Lunch is around 2.30 to 3pm and dinner is after 8.30 to 9pm. So you can imagine our surprised when we went to the hotel restaurant at 7.30pm for dinner and it is not opened. But being hospitable, they immediately sat us down and made the kitchen cook faster. Dinner typically finishes at 11pm and we go to bed around 1am. However, I would not recommend going into any roadside restaurant.
Do look for establishments of some reputation, with air conditioning and good service. There are many and they need not be expensive. There is a restaurant called Freddy's that servers very good lamb and another which serves a buffet of Lahori dishes. I can't remember the name but the restaurant resembles a village mud house. Another great place to go is called Cuckoo's Nest and it is in the old city with where we sat at the rooftop overlooking the old fort. That was so like one of those movie settings where you see people chillin' out at the rooftop.
Chinese women are a novelty. They will stare and come very close to you as they don't seem to understand personal space. Some even took pictures clandestinely, pretty much like how a secret agent on surveillance would do. Next time, I was going to put Nenci on a chair and ask for payment for every photo taken with her. She was treated like royalty into any shop we stepped into.
While it is not considered rude to bare your arms, it is frowned upon to wear shorts. No one wears shorts including the guys or even when it was about 45 degree C! Another weird thing is that the men from the poorer category, tend to hold hands and pinkies. I seriously don't understand this!!!!
I made very good friends in Lahore and I truly enjoyed my stay there being totally safe from any harm. However, that was only the first 2 trips. Next ones were pretty scary but until then, I am going to put on my dhoti, check out some tandoori chicken and sing Kuch Kuch Hota Hai! AND STOP TOUCHING MY HAND!!!!
Stereotyping - Is that typing on a stereo? How do you do that???
The last few articles were focused on some family stuff and also to share with you the kinda food a Chindian would go for. I tried looking out for new and funny stuff to write so that I don't lose my sense of humour. I was talking to a few friends last night and it struck me how much stereotyping we put on our fellow men/women. It could be stereotyping by race, gender or religion.
And we Chindians get most of it because we have 2 cultures, which means twice the stereotyping. But you gotta admit, some of those statements are pretty eerily true! Let's start on race-based stereotyping us Indians.
An example, Indians are drunkards and will beat up our wives and/or set them on fire. That is just so the typically ignorant and misinformed statement that puts our whole social fabric at breaking point (to ask later, how does social wear fabric??).
We don't beat our wives, we sometimes beat our neighbour's or brother's wives! Come on, you gotta be fair. Have you seen Bollywood movies? They will sing at a pitch where hunting dogs will start howling and gnawing at their own tails just to stop the noise. Wouldn't you do something just to stop the torture??!?! Furthermore, just as you are about to kiss her, she starts singing like a banshee that is constipating!! How many times can a man take it?? And all that excessive dancing and clothes!! You'd not only go broke, you would go nuts just trying to undress her!
We are not drunkards! We do drink quite a fair bit and is able to hold our liquor better but we don't get drunk and rowdy! We just get "HAPPY" and want everyone to share in our joy. Sure sometimes we take off our shirts and jump around on tables shouting "Whose your DADDY?!?!?!" and puking on our wives' bosses brand new RM1,500 Hugo Boss shoes. It could happen to a Chinese or Malay guy!
For the record, I wanna say that I have never gotten drunk before...except for that one time where I did and puked in my friends toilet for hours. Funny thing was, I then cleaned up her whole toilet. I never did remember that! Her mother was so grateful, she kept inviting me for LOTS of drinks after that.
Also we do not set our wives on fire. Who came up with that one?? Do you know how much petrol cost these days???? So much easier to just push her off the cliff and claim its an accident. With our police force so incredibly inept and decadent, they will believe anything.
Also Indians are not cheap and like gaudy colours! These are related. You may as well know that we are colour blind! I think when God made us, he also accidentally spilled extra paint in the world so that we only saw dark orange, turquoise, shitty blue (you know the shade of blue that Indians love. You know what I mean!!!) and a shade of green that is never used even by a blind painter. So we don't shop very well and hence don't spend a lot of money. Ok, we are cheap....I have no defense here.
We like eating on banana leaves and our hands not because we are too cheap to buy utensils. Just that Indians were at the beginning of civilization at the Indus River where Mohenjodarro and Harappa were one of the earliest civilizations (this is actually true). Back then, earth were baked into bricks and were used to build buildings and not much was left for utensils, so we used leaves and our hands. As we were inventing utensils, the bloody Macedonian called Alexander the Great came and stole it together with the blue prints from our archives ala Tom Cruise MI style! So until the British came, leaves were all that we had. (Just in case you don't know history, this part is a joke)
Also most people think that all Indians are Tamils and speak Tamil. Tamil is a language and also an ethnic group, just like Cantonese or Hokkien or Hainanese. When the British shipped labourers to Malaysia, only the South Indians were interested to come since the North Indians were too busy trying to look pretty, sharpening their noses and bridges. So we get a majority of Tamils here.
Not all Indians celebrate Deepavali as well. While there is no law against that, Deepavali is more of a religious holiday unlike Chinese New Year which is more of a cultural holiday. Christian Indians don't celebrate Deepavali (yes Indians can be Christians) in its true sense like going to the temple and performing prayers but you can chill out at our house. Just bring some beer.
Many say we Indians stink and have these coconut oil smell that will make a bison buy a eau de toilette (which is French for going to the toilet and saying "EWWWWWW!"). That unfortunately is true. It's not about our diet for goodness sake. You don't see curry streaming down our armpits do you??!?!? It's just that we expire a lot faster than others. You see, we are dark, black, beige or whatever you wanna call us but we are also in one of the hottest places in the world. So we attract heat unlike those silky white hairless Chinese boiled chicken type of people. Not stereotyping, just saying.
So if you are looking to buy a present for an Indian guy, do get him some deodorant or hair mousse (so we don't use the damn coconut oil), really expensive utensils like China, deodorant, latest fashion magazines or clothes from the normal part of the world where real colours are used, lingerie that doesn't involve sari and we men can just RIP it out, deodorant, Chinese cookbooks so that we know what other Chinese food looks like so that we can order other dishes instead of egg fu yong and fried rice ALL the BLOODY time and did I mention deodorant?
And we Chindians get most of it because we have 2 cultures, which means twice the stereotyping. But you gotta admit, some of those statements are pretty eerily true! Let's start on race-based stereotyping us Indians.
An example, Indians are drunkards and will beat up our wives and/or set them on fire. That is just so the typically ignorant and misinformed statement that puts our whole social fabric at breaking point (to ask later, how does social wear fabric??).
We don't beat our wives, we sometimes beat our neighbour's or brother's wives! Come on, you gotta be fair. Have you seen Bollywood movies? They will sing at a pitch where hunting dogs will start howling and gnawing at their own tails just to stop the noise. Wouldn't you do something just to stop the torture??!?! Furthermore, just as you are about to kiss her, she starts singing like a banshee that is constipating!! How many times can a man take it?? And all that excessive dancing and clothes!! You'd not only go broke, you would go nuts just trying to undress her!
We are not drunkards! We do drink quite a fair bit and is able to hold our liquor better but we don't get drunk and rowdy! We just get "HAPPY" and want everyone to share in our joy. Sure sometimes we take off our shirts and jump around on tables shouting "Whose your DADDY?!?!?!" and puking on our wives' bosses brand new RM1,500 Hugo Boss shoes. It could happen to a Chinese or Malay guy!
For the record, I wanna say that I have never gotten drunk before...except for that one time where I did and puked in my friends toilet for hours. Funny thing was, I then cleaned up her whole toilet. I never did remember that! Her mother was so grateful, she kept inviting me for LOTS of drinks after that.
Also we do not set our wives on fire. Who came up with that one?? Do you know how much petrol cost these days???? So much easier to just push her off the cliff and claim its an accident. With our police force so incredibly inept and decadent, they will believe anything.
Also Indians are not cheap and like gaudy colours! These are related. You may as well know that we are colour blind! I think when God made us, he also accidentally spilled extra paint in the world so that we only saw dark orange, turquoise, shitty blue (you know the shade of blue that Indians love. You know what I mean!!!) and a shade of green that is never used even by a blind painter. So we don't shop very well and hence don't spend a lot of money. Ok, we are cheap....I have no defense here.
We like eating on banana leaves and our hands not because we are too cheap to buy utensils. Just that Indians were at the beginning of civilization at the Indus River where Mohenjodarro and Harappa were one of the earliest civilizations (this is actually true). Back then, earth were baked into bricks and were used to build buildings and not much was left for utensils, so we used leaves and our hands. As we were inventing utensils, the bloody Macedonian called Alexander the Great came and stole it together with the blue prints from our archives ala Tom Cruise MI style! So until the British came, leaves were all that we had. (Just in case you don't know history, this part is a joke)
Also most people think that all Indians are Tamils and speak Tamil. Tamil is a language and also an ethnic group, just like Cantonese or Hokkien or Hainanese. When the British shipped labourers to Malaysia, only the South Indians were interested to come since the North Indians were too busy trying to look pretty, sharpening their noses and bridges. So we get a majority of Tamils here.
Not all Indians celebrate Deepavali as well. While there is no law against that, Deepavali is more of a religious holiday unlike Chinese New Year which is more of a cultural holiday. Christian Indians don't celebrate Deepavali (yes Indians can be Christians) in its true sense like going to the temple and performing prayers but you can chill out at our house. Just bring some beer.
Many say we Indians stink and have these coconut oil smell that will make a bison buy a eau de toilette (which is French for going to the toilet and saying "EWWWWWW!"). That unfortunately is true. It's not about our diet for goodness sake. You don't see curry streaming down our armpits do you??!?!? It's just that we expire a lot faster than others. You see, we are dark, black, beige or whatever you wanna call us but we are also in one of the hottest places in the world. So we attract heat unlike those silky white hairless Chinese boiled chicken type of people. Not stereotyping, just saying.
So if you are looking to buy a present for an Indian guy, do get him some deodorant or hair mousse (so we don't use the damn coconut oil), really expensive utensils like China, deodorant, latest fashion magazines or clothes from the normal part of the world where real colours are used, lingerie that doesn't involve sari and we men can just RIP it out, deodorant, Chinese cookbooks so that we know what other Chinese food looks like so that we can order other dishes instead of egg fu yong and fried rice ALL the BLOODY time and did I mention deodorant?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Tanjung Tualang pics
One of my shortcomings in blogging is the lack of pictures. It's not that I don't like taking pics but it is relatively slow and difficult for me to choose which pics to upload. Anyway, I will upload some of the pics now for you to enjoy but I will also upload more pics at this site, so do check them out from time to time. http://alwynmagic.spaces.live.com/ or click at "Web Sites of Interest" down by the right column.
Here is a photo of my family.
My mom and her sisters are on the right and my wife is standing at the back. The rest are my cousins and their spouses that are my superb extended family. This is taken at our Tanjung Tualang cousin's restaurant. Really cool to have a cousin owning a restaurant.
This is the picture of the famous river prawns from Tanjung Tualang.
This is our uncle's house and the kids having a great time "plucking" rambutans with a pole. That's my son, Mikey with an extremely large construction equipment...I mean my brother, Jude and our uncle (don't know his name, he is just Piu Khau Fu) at the pole. City kids!!!
And this is my son on extreme right, daughter Amanda (Mandy), my nephews and my brother praying for some divine help for the rambutans to come down.
Another novelty for the city kids, a fully functional well in the house. During our time, there was no pump so we had to crank the bucket up and down the well and then bathe ourselves under the sky light (open roof).
From left to right my nephews Eric (doing the acrobatics pose), Baby Sean (the baby of the family), Mikey, Aaron (hidden at the back) and Brian. My other nephew Brendan was too engrossed with his PSP and could not pose for this pic.
And finally, the pic of Lucky the leg-humping dog with my cousin KLY and Mandy.
So if you intend to have good Har-Lok and fresh river prawns, head on down to my mom's hometown of Tanjung Tualang. You will see some friendly folks and ask for the family of a Malay-looking, Chinese speaking Indian. They will set you good.
Here is a photo of my family.
My mom and her sisters are on the right and my wife is standing at the back. The rest are my cousins and their spouses that are my superb extended family. This is taken at our Tanjung Tualang cousin's restaurant. Really cool to have a cousin owning a restaurant.This is the picture of the famous river prawns from Tanjung Tualang.
This is our uncle's house and the kids having a great time "plucking" rambutans with a pole. That's my son, Mikey with an extremely large construction equipment...I mean my brother, Jude and our uncle (don't know his name, he is just Piu Khau Fu) at the pole. City kids!!!
And this is my son on extreme right, daughter Amanda (Mandy), my nephews and my brother praying for some divine help for the rambutans to come down.
Another novelty for the city kids, a fully functional well in the house. During our time, there was no pump so we had to crank the bucket up and down the well and then bathe ourselves under the sky light (open roof).
From left to right my nephews Eric (doing the acrobatics pose), Baby Sean (the baby of the family), Mikey, Aaron (hidden at the back) and Brian. My other nephew Brendan was too engrossed with his PSP and could not pose for this pic.And finally, the pic of Lucky the leg-humping dog with my cousin KLY and Mandy.
So if you intend to have good Har-Lok and fresh river prawns, head on down to my mom's hometown of Tanjung Tualang. You will see some friendly folks and ask for the family of a Malay-looking, Chinese speaking Indian. They will set you good.
Monday, October 20, 2008
More makan-makan place
There are LOTS more places to eat in KL/PJ. After all we are an eating cultured people. Just google eating in Malaysia and look at all the search results popping out. We just love our food and can you blame us? The problem with Malaysians is that we don't know how to package our good stuff. Singapore does a fantastic job about it. Just look at all the food they package. The only food that came out of Singapore is "White Pepper Crab" but they do such a good job that I have friends from around Asia thinking "Bak Kut Teh" and "Hainanese Chicken Rice" is from Singapore. So we gotta take back our rights and I talked about it in the last article. Today I want to talk about some of the Western restaurants that are pretty good and worth the ambience.
1) Checkers
This place is run by a father-son tag team and they have a pretty good sense of humour. The place is in Damansara Heights at Jalan Setiabestari 2. They have a pretty decent menu but their signature dishes are all pork dishes. Their ribs is absolutely perfection and sometimes they get a special "part" of the pig which they grill and serve with some sauce. Hey man! I just eat it!! The place has only 4-5 tables so best to go during weekday or call before hand. Unfortunately I don't have the number. I will try to get it on my next visit.
2) 6 to 10 grill
Truly a long lasting "turun temurun" type of business. It started as a small stall in an open space car park to a restaurant at the ground floor of Happy Mansion at Sec 17. Happy Mansion is that pre-war lookalike flats in Sec 17 next to a school. It is run by a family of 3 (the restaurant not the flats!) with the mother managing the nasi lemak part of the menu and the father and son cooking the western menu. Their fare is above average I think but its definitely value for money. Unfortunately this family don't smile very much especially the mother who looks like she has some smiling muscle deficiency where she can't smile even if she could buy a cow for a cent. Anyway, good family fare with wide variety on the menu.
3) San Francisco Steak House
This is a personal favourite because the first time we were there, my wife wanted a to try the lobster and the steak but it was too much to try both. So the captain created a new item just for us (or at least he made it look like it was just for us). He cooked half a lobster and a smaller portion of the steak for us. There was a "Surf N Turf" on the menu but it was frozen lobster, this was LIVE. So from then on, we really felt very welcome and special here. Their steak is really superb, one of the best I have tasted and do try the escargot. Service is not as good as before but still worth going.
4) 7ate9
This is a bistro type restaurant located at the ground floor of Ascot. Not really great food but very good lamb cutlet. Also the setting is very comfortable where you can just chill and hang out with friends. It is a bit pricey so, if you are not much of a drinking person, this is not for you.
5) La Bodega
First you gotta appreciate tapas which is kinda like spanish appetizers. The food comes in bite sizes so you can try multiple variety on the menu. Must try the lamb cutlet, prawns variety and chicken cooked in olive oil.
6) Riblees
A small quaint restaurant at Sri Hartamas. It is located on the first floor of the shop lot that is the same row as the bomba. Ribs are great and there are some good varieties. You can ask the waiter for the special and the difference in variety. Go in a group so that you can try them all.
7) Souled Out
A combination of pub and restaurant and they have a good variety of Asian and Western. It used to be worth the money but the taste has deteriorted somehow. I won't particularly encourage it but if you have been everywhere else, try this for a change.
8) Finnegans
This Irish pub has evolved to include some pretty interesting British food. Again the rib and knuckle. Don't try the sausages no matter how tempted you may be. Sometimes my brother's band Soul Income, plays there so you will be treated to some decent music for dinner.
9) Backofen
It is a small cafe like place at Sri Hartamas, opposite Finnegan's Hartamas. The meatloaf and Rosemary chicken are worth trying and so are some of their desserts. This is a good place to chill out if you are waiting for time to pass for an hour or so, like before I go pick my son from badminton training.
10) Hot Chocolate
It's at the corner from Checkers. The combo has different varieties of chicken, beef and lamb on a bed of spaghetti. They have good chocolate drinks (DUH!!) with an interesting marinara soup served in sourdough bread. Trouble is that the bread absorbs a lot of the soup, so drink up fast or you can ask for more soup.
There you go. Now you know some of the places that I hang out with my family during the weekends. I am sorry I don't have pics and I will try to rectify that. We are now going to try places we have never been and we are open to suggestions from readers. Gosh...I need another antacid...DOUBLE BURP!!!
1) Checkers
This place is run by a father-son tag team and they have a pretty good sense of humour. The place is in Damansara Heights at Jalan Setiabestari 2. They have a pretty decent menu but their signature dishes are all pork dishes. Their ribs is absolutely perfection and sometimes they get a special "part" of the pig which they grill and serve with some sauce. Hey man! I just eat it!! The place has only 4-5 tables so best to go during weekday or call before hand. Unfortunately I don't have the number. I will try to get it on my next visit.
2) 6 to 10 grill
Truly a long lasting "turun temurun" type of business. It started as a small stall in an open space car park to a restaurant at the ground floor of Happy Mansion at Sec 17. Happy Mansion is that pre-war lookalike flats in Sec 17 next to a school. It is run by a family of 3 (the restaurant not the flats!) with the mother managing the nasi lemak part of the menu and the father and son cooking the western menu. Their fare is above average I think but its definitely value for money. Unfortunately this family don't smile very much especially the mother who looks like she has some smiling muscle deficiency where she can't smile even if she could buy a cow for a cent. Anyway, good family fare with wide variety on the menu.
3) San Francisco Steak House
This is a personal favourite because the first time we were there, my wife wanted a to try the lobster and the steak but it was too much to try both. So the captain created a new item just for us (or at least he made it look like it was just for us). He cooked half a lobster and a smaller portion of the steak for us. There was a "Surf N Turf" on the menu but it was frozen lobster, this was LIVE. So from then on, we really felt very welcome and special here. Their steak is really superb, one of the best I have tasted and do try the escargot. Service is not as good as before but still worth going.
4) 7ate9
This is a bistro type restaurant located at the ground floor of Ascot. Not really great food but very good lamb cutlet. Also the setting is very comfortable where you can just chill and hang out with friends. It is a bit pricey so, if you are not much of a drinking person, this is not for you.
5) La Bodega
First you gotta appreciate tapas which is kinda like spanish appetizers. The food comes in bite sizes so you can try multiple variety on the menu. Must try the lamb cutlet, prawns variety and chicken cooked in olive oil.
6) Riblees
A small quaint restaurant at Sri Hartamas. It is located on the first floor of the shop lot that is the same row as the bomba. Ribs are great and there are some good varieties. You can ask the waiter for the special and the difference in variety. Go in a group so that you can try them all.
7) Souled Out
A combination of pub and restaurant and they have a good variety of Asian and Western. It used to be worth the money but the taste has deteriorted somehow. I won't particularly encourage it but if you have been everywhere else, try this for a change.
8) Finnegans
This Irish pub has evolved to include some pretty interesting British food. Again the rib and knuckle. Don't try the sausages no matter how tempted you may be. Sometimes my brother's band Soul Income, plays there so you will be treated to some decent music for dinner.
9) Backofen
It is a small cafe like place at Sri Hartamas, opposite Finnegan's Hartamas. The meatloaf and Rosemary chicken are worth trying and so are some of their desserts. This is a good place to chill out if you are waiting for time to pass for an hour or so, like before I go pick my son from badminton training.
10) Hot Chocolate
It's at the corner from Checkers. The combo has different varieties of chicken, beef and lamb on a bed of spaghetti. They have good chocolate drinks (DUH!!) with an interesting marinara soup served in sourdough bread. Trouble is that the bread absorbs a lot of the soup, so drink up fast or you can ask for more soup.
There you go. Now you know some of the places that I hang out with my family during the weekends. I am sorry I don't have pics and I will try to rectify that. We are now going to try places we have never been and we are open to suggestions from readers. Gosh...I need another antacid...DOUBLE BURP!!!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Food of a Chindian
I am a slightly aerodynamically portly person and I don't think I can ever slim down as I love food too much. Dieting is like torture. That is why I am not in the business of spying. If they caught me and wanted info, all they had to do was deny me dinner. I will be singing like a canary whose vocal cords are connected to a stadium PA system. What's worst is that I have inherited the taste of both cultures and more. I love Chinese food, Indian, Malay, Western, Italian, Japanese, etc. Just food, food, food, etc.
I did have a rather weird and conflicting menu when we were growing up. My mom is a great cook (you may ask whose mom isn't, I can tell you a few and that all mom's cooking are great is a myth). She cooks curry better than any Indian restaurant. So we will be having curry, idaly, sometimes chapati with sweet sour pork, braised chicked with mushroom and herbal soup. As if that is not conflicting enough, sometimes she throws in a pork chop or two just to screw with us. Fingers, chopsticks or forks????
As time progressed, I have learnt to find some really good food around PJ and KL. Here are some restaurants that I like to patronize. These are food and places that I like so if you happen to go there and don't find the food good, that's just a difference in taste. There, glad we got that out of the way. In no particular order:-
1) Bak Kut Teh - all said and done, Klang BKT is the best but I am not going to be able to drive there EVERY single craving. So I settle for the shop at Old Town near the shops that sell all kinds of Chinese religious stuff and plastic containers. Another place worth mentioning is at Kg Jawa (along Kesas to Pulau Indah) where they have dry BKT. I can't remember the coffee shop but if interested I can give directions.
2) Char Siew - My fav is at Jalan Changkat Tungshin, next to Jln Alor. It's a tiny shop where they have honey char siew and chicken rice. To die for!! There is something similar at Glenmarie but it's a poor imitation.
3) Chinese restaurant - I love this place at Bandar Baru Sentul called Lau Heong. Their signature dishes are fried chicken wing (I suspect they put marijuana in the batter, its so addictive), La-la soup (seong tong), curry fish head, banana leaf prawn and squid, stingray with their special sauce and my personal favourite, the fried pork knuckle. Best part is that it is VERY reasonably priced but parking can be a pain.
4) Another Chinese rest - It's called De Maw I think. They have speciality dishes that you will not find elsewhere. Sometimes require booking and it is near PGRM (Gerakan HQ) in Cheras. Quite difficult to go. I can't write it down, gotta drive there and let memory take over.
5) Yet another - Paris is yet another famous chinese rest in PJ. Situated in SS2, it serves your order fast and you have to finish fast and get out. That's because there are tons of folks waiting. Food that is priced reasonably is not easy to find in PJ. Pangkor Curry Fish Head in Tmn Megah opposite Fatty Crab, has a good menu as well with crabs, honey chicken and pretty decent curry fish head.
6) Korean - I developed a taste for Korean food and if you do too should head down to Ampang Jaya where there is a street nicknamed Korean Street but I can't remember the real name. Rest is called Nak Won and it serves really good BBQ marinated beef. Pork and chicken can be missed but also try the Kim Chi soup, Chicken Ginseng soup and Bulgogi. If you like raw beef with raw egg, their UKay is also good. We recently came across another restaurant in Riana Green that is just as good and the pork was well cooked. Only thing is that it is a much smaller restaurant and they don't have a large variety of side dishes.
7) Japanese - I am impartial towards this restaurant at Sri Hartamas. It's the other end of the same row as Finnegans. The decor is wooden with red lanterns. Very good authentic and low priced salmon shashimi. Kampachi at Holiday Villa and Pavilion is also good but pricey.
8) Seafood - I still like Fatty Crab even though the crab has gotten smaller but their sauce, chicken wing and fried rice is still one of the top. Try going to a restaurant in Kg Jawa called Heng Ket. Their grilled crab is a biology lab lesson but taste extremely fresh and sweet. They do have grilled lamb as well and even if you don't like lamb, you will like theirs.
I also enjoy good seafood at Pantai Rest at Kg Kayu Ara. Crab, prawns, pork knuckle, La-La, Scotland clams are just succulent. I highly recommend it!
9) Porky - I cannot live without pork. To me, pork is brain food. So head on down to Taipan (3 doors away from Starbucks) to a restaurant called Meaty House. It serves the best baby back ribs, pork knuckle (see a pattern emerging?), bacon bits soup, ham steak, pork spaghetti, pork lasagne and pork belly.
10) Pasta - Don't even try to go anywhere else before you go to Dave's at 1Utama. It's next to Canton-i. Try the olive oil based spaghetti and you won't go anywhere else. If you have space, get the Cesaer's Salad, pork belly shavings, baby back ribs and.....you got it, pork knuckles!!! Truly excellent pasta and tiramisu.
11) Indian - unfortunately, Indian food is quite standard across the board. Every restaurant will have them, like Malay food. It's just the different types of spices they put it. I am very impartial towards Kanna Curry House in Sec17 and Raju's at Jln Gasing. Occasionally I will head on to Sri Paandi at Sec 5 near Alam Shah school. Brickfields and Leboh Ampang has some good restaurants as well but the 3 above are my favourite.
I do enjoy Kayu as well. I know people say they are expensive and taste very mediocre but I like the plasma TVs.
So there you go. I will work on more western, penang and hawker cuisines as well as some fine dining in my later blogs. Right now, I gotta take some antacids! BURP!!!!
I did have a rather weird and conflicting menu when we were growing up. My mom is a great cook (you may ask whose mom isn't, I can tell you a few and that all mom's cooking are great is a myth). She cooks curry better than any Indian restaurant. So we will be having curry, idaly, sometimes chapati with sweet sour pork, braised chicked with mushroom and herbal soup. As if that is not conflicting enough, sometimes she throws in a pork chop or two just to screw with us. Fingers, chopsticks or forks????
As time progressed, I have learnt to find some really good food around PJ and KL. Here are some restaurants that I like to patronize. These are food and places that I like so if you happen to go there and don't find the food good, that's just a difference in taste. There, glad we got that out of the way. In no particular order:-
1) Bak Kut Teh - all said and done, Klang BKT is the best but I am not going to be able to drive there EVERY single craving. So I settle for the shop at Old Town near the shops that sell all kinds of Chinese religious stuff and plastic containers. Another place worth mentioning is at Kg Jawa (along Kesas to Pulau Indah) where they have dry BKT. I can't remember the coffee shop but if interested I can give directions.
2) Char Siew - My fav is at Jalan Changkat Tungshin, next to Jln Alor. It's a tiny shop where they have honey char siew and chicken rice. To die for!! There is something similar at Glenmarie but it's a poor imitation.
3) Chinese restaurant - I love this place at Bandar Baru Sentul called Lau Heong. Their signature dishes are fried chicken wing (I suspect they put marijuana in the batter, its so addictive), La-la soup (seong tong), curry fish head, banana leaf prawn and squid, stingray with their special sauce and my personal favourite, the fried pork knuckle. Best part is that it is VERY reasonably priced but parking can be a pain.
4) Another Chinese rest - It's called De Maw I think. They have speciality dishes that you will not find elsewhere. Sometimes require booking and it is near PGRM (Gerakan HQ) in Cheras. Quite difficult to go. I can't write it down, gotta drive there and let memory take over.
5) Yet another - Paris is yet another famous chinese rest in PJ. Situated in SS2, it serves your order fast and you have to finish fast and get out. That's because there are tons of folks waiting. Food that is priced reasonably is not easy to find in PJ. Pangkor Curry Fish Head in Tmn Megah opposite Fatty Crab, has a good menu as well with crabs, honey chicken and pretty decent curry fish head.
6) Korean - I developed a taste for Korean food and if you do too should head down to Ampang Jaya where there is a street nicknamed Korean Street but I can't remember the real name. Rest is called Nak Won and it serves really good BBQ marinated beef. Pork and chicken can be missed but also try the Kim Chi soup, Chicken Ginseng soup and Bulgogi. If you like raw beef with raw egg, their UKay is also good. We recently came across another restaurant in Riana Green that is just as good and the pork was well cooked. Only thing is that it is a much smaller restaurant and they don't have a large variety of side dishes.
7) Japanese - I am impartial towards this restaurant at Sri Hartamas. It's the other end of the same row as Finnegans. The decor is wooden with red lanterns. Very good authentic and low priced salmon shashimi. Kampachi at Holiday Villa and Pavilion is also good but pricey.
8) Seafood - I still like Fatty Crab even though the crab has gotten smaller but their sauce, chicken wing and fried rice is still one of the top. Try going to a restaurant in Kg Jawa called Heng Ket. Their grilled crab is a biology lab lesson but taste extremely fresh and sweet. They do have grilled lamb as well and even if you don't like lamb, you will like theirs.
I also enjoy good seafood at Pantai Rest at Kg Kayu Ara. Crab, prawns, pork knuckle, La-La, Scotland clams are just succulent. I highly recommend it!
9) Porky - I cannot live without pork. To me, pork is brain food. So head on down to Taipan (3 doors away from Starbucks) to a restaurant called Meaty House. It serves the best baby back ribs, pork knuckle (see a pattern emerging?), bacon bits soup, ham steak, pork spaghetti, pork lasagne and pork belly.
10) Pasta - Don't even try to go anywhere else before you go to Dave's at 1Utama. It's next to Canton-i. Try the olive oil based spaghetti and you won't go anywhere else. If you have space, get the Cesaer's Salad, pork belly shavings, baby back ribs and.....you got it, pork knuckles!!! Truly excellent pasta and tiramisu.
11) Indian - unfortunately, Indian food is quite standard across the board. Every restaurant will have them, like Malay food. It's just the different types of spices they put it. I am very impartial towards Kanna Curry House in Sec17 and Raju's at Jln Gasing. Occasionally I will head on to Sri Paandi at Sec 5 near Alam Shah school. Brickfields and Leboh Ampang has some good restaurants as well but the 3 above are my favourite.
I do enjoy Kayu as well. I know people say they are expensive and taste very mediocre but I like the plasma TVs.
So there you go. I will work on more western, penang and hawker cuisines as well as some fine dining in my later blogs. Right now, I gotta take some antacids! BURP!!!!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Cultural enigma of a Chindian - Part 1
I get this question a lot as a Chindian and I am sure that all my mixed parentage brethren get the same. The question is what culture do I belong to? Chinese, Indian, Malay, Malaysian? What is Malaysian anyway? This social question is very prevalent in a melting pot type of country. The region as a whole is assimilating. We have Malays who have actually originated from Sulawesi and archipelago of Indonesia and of course Chinese, Indians, Armenians (in Penang), Arabs and some Portugese being the more popular immigrants.
But what about a Chindian? What culture do we follow?
That's the best part of being a Chindian. We have the best of both worlds. Both my cultures are one of the oldest surviving and more successful cultures. Between the Indians and the Chinese, we literally invented the world. We invented ways to progress a language and alphabet or character. We invented the modern foundation of warfare, gun powder and guns. We invited navigation with the stars and the compasses and other stuff that I will not go into great details.
I have the option to look at both cultures and pick the best (or what I think its the best). For example, I love eating with my fingers and if I follow the Chinese culture I probably won't be too good in that and just know how to use chopsticks. I can use both chopsticks and my fingers in a culinary experience which includes curry and herbal soup!
But there are certain aspects of my cultures that I don't understand. For example, in the Indian subcontinent (India, Bangladesh and Pakistan), you see grown men walking around holding hands!!! What is the #&@*$ is going on??!?!?! That is a great example of what NOT to follow from my Indian culture. To me, I cannot think of any instance where it is ok to hold another man's hand!
You only do that if you are shaking his hand in greeting or if both of you are gay. Even if you are holding your son's hand, you have to constantly look at people and say "This is my son, just hanging out with my your son. I am in no way a pervert or gay.". If you are straight and just chilling out with your friends, a guy DOES NOT EVER, EVER, EVER hold another man's hand!
There are times, these Indians (I call of them Indians even though they may be from Pakistan or Sri Langka or Bangladesh. They are all Indians, who the heck they are trying to kid! The difference is in the ethnicity, race or language) men will be hooking pinkies and walking around! No wonder arrange marriage is such a integral component of the Indian culture. Which self respecting girl will get turned on by a guy holding another guy's hand?!?!?!
Despite all that, we are still the second largest population in the world! Go figure!
As for the Chinese culture, well, there is too much emphasis on money and material things. Most Chinese guys would always want to save enough money to buy a house and a car before they decide to marry. I think that is all positively bull-crap. To me its just excuses to delay the marriage. Most men have intimacy issues and I will write about it later.
Just look at Chinese New Year. We welcome the Money God who is like Santa Claus and he arrives on CNY eve. We don't sweep on the first day, as we may accidentally sweep away fortune that the Money God left us. Every CNY day, the Money God's fortune seems to have a lot of spiders making their homes in it and looks suspiciously like dirt. However, I subscribe to this tradition as it means I didn't have to sweep the house that morning.
Then there is the ang-pow or red packet, given by the married to the not-married. Not surprisingly I liked this when I was a kid and hate it now that I have kids on my own. So, I have my likes and dislikes. When my elders don't like something that I do, I just say it is my "other" culture.
There are more stories and interesting traditions that I can share and I will share with you in my other parts. If you don't like it, it's just my culture!
But what about a Chindian? What culture do we follow?
That's the best part of being a Chindian. We have the best of both worlds. Both my cultures are one of the oldest surviving and more successful cultures. Between the Indians and the Chinese, we literally invented the world. We invented ways to progress a language and alphabet or character. We invented the modern foundation of warfare, gun powder and guns. We invited navigation with the stars and the compasses and other stuff that I will not go into great details.
I have the option to look at both cultures and pick the best (or what I think its the best). For example, I love eating with my fingers and if I follow the Chinese culture I probably won't be too good in that and just know how to use chopsticks. I can use both chopsticks and my fingers in a culinary experience which includes curry and herbal soup!
But there are certain aspects of my cultures that I don't understand. For example, in the Indian subcontinent (India, Bangladesh and Pakistan), you see grown men walking around holding hands!!! What is the #&@*$ is going on??!?!?! That is a great example of what NOT to follow from my Indian culture. To me, I cannot think of any instance where it is ok to hold another man's hand!
You only do that if you are shaking his hand in greeting or if both of you are gay. Even if you are holding your son's hand, you have to constantly look at people and say "This is my son, just hanging out with my your son. I am in no way a pervert or gay.". If you are straight and just chilling out with your friends, a guy DOES NOT EVER, EVER, EVER hold another man's hand!
There are times, these Indians (I call of them Indians even though they may be from Pakistan or Sri Langka or Bangladesh. They are all Indians, who the heck they are trying to kid! The difference is in the ethnicity, race or language) men will be hooking pinkies and walking around! No wonder arrange marriage is such a integral component of the Indian culture. Which self respecting girl will get turned on by a guy holding another guy's hand?!?!?!
Despite all that, we are still the second largest population in the world! Go figure!
As for the Chinese culture, well, there is too much emphasis on money and material things. Most Chinese guys would always want to save enough money to buy a house and a car before they decide to marry. I think that is all positively bull-crap. To me its just excuses to delay the marriage. Most men have intimacy issues and I will write about it later.
Just look at Chinese New Year. We welcome the Money God who is like Santa Claus and he arrives on CNY eve. We don't sweep on the first day, as we may accidentally sweep away fortune that the Money God left us. Every CNY day, the Money God's fortune seems to have a lot of spiders making their homes in it and looks suspiciously like dirt. However, I subscribe to this tradition as it means I didn't have to sweep the house that morning.
Then there is the ang-pow or red packet, given by the married to the not-married. Not surprisingly I liked this when I was a kid and hate it now that I have kids on my own. So, I have my likes and dislikes. When my elders don't like something that I do, I just say it is my "other" culture.
There are more stories and interesting traditions that I can share and I will share with you in my other parts. If you don't like it, it's just my culture!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Malaysian Hospitality - A REAL bad habit
My job and love for traveling has coincided well and it has blessed me with the opportunity to travel domestically and to some foreign countries. Hence I have been exposed quite a fair bit and one of the things that amazes me are our bad habits in public. We Malaysians, regardless of race, go around touting how friendly we are, how well we treat our guest, blah, blah into bullshit kingdom!
We have all kinds of bad habits and most of the times we display them in public places like hotels, shopping areas and restaurants. I am not talking about the hawker centers or side stall but restaurants that are supposed to be tourist spots who at that time was doing brisk business with tourist. So despite the poor service, people are still flocking to these places. What's up with that? Is it that our tour operators don't care about the kind of experience that the customer's are getting? Or is it that we have come to have such low expectations when it comes to service?
My latest experience took us to Melaka where we queued up for more than 20mins at a Chicken Ball Rice restaurant called Formosa. When we finally got a table, the server took her sweet time coming over to take our order. That was fine. We ordered and then waited another 20mins for food. Now correct me if I am wrong but isn't chicken rice already prepared?? Everything is already "pre-made" so what was the waiting for? That was not the punch line.
Our dishes came, but our rice didn't. When we asked our server, she went to the counter, looked at our order and said we didn't order the rice! Isn't the shop called Chicken Rice Ball Restaurant? Isn't that their speciality? Even then, who the heck eats chicken rice without the rice??? No one eats just the chicken doused in soya sauce and sesame oil!! That's a sure fire way to get your diabetes up! She then sulkily went to get our rice. No apologies, no attempt to move faster to get our rice. Just sulking to show what painful arses we are for making her work.
I am sure we see these types of bad service in a lot of places and I don't want to just point out Melaka as the bad example because we also had a very good experience for a cafe on Jonker Street called 1511. It was quaint like all shops and serves western and local. The waiter was very friendly is getting us a big table and he was so patient in explaining the menu as it was SO obvious that we were first timers. When the food came, he knew who ordered what and proceeded to explain how to enjoy it.
I don't think we need to be idolized and worshipped when we go out eating or shopping or were at a hotel. I think it is reasonable to expect people to be nice to you and take the trouble to ensure you have a damn good experience at their shops.
Another bad habit I think is the way we call out to the waiters or sales assistant. Do you realize that we always call out "HALLO" and it has come to a point that we call it out rudely? It's not even "hello" but "HALLO!". In CAPITALS!! What is wrong in calling out "Excuse Me"? It's the same when counter staff calls us. In the western countries they will say "I can help the next person in line". Here it is "HALLO!" or"NEXT!".
We have another bad habit queueing up as well, whether it is at the cashier, ticket counter or just going to the toilet. We will rush and form queues in front of each counter, cashier, urinal, etc. Can't we use the round robin way where everyone queues in one line and each goes to the next counter that is open. Unfortunately I see this at airports as well. For some reason, it isn't like that in Western countries. They all line up round robin and will take the next counter that is open, hence it is fair and efficient.
It's the same in driving as well. At an intersection, everyone allows the car in front to go first so each takes a turn allowing the other side to pass. When I first drove in the US, I didn't realize that everyone was giving way and did my KL thing where I just drove off without waiting for the other car to go first. I was honked and shouted at!! But I deserved it!
We are very quick to criticize the west when it comes to their lifestyle and I do admit, there are many flaws but who are we to judge and criticize? Can't we just take the good habits and leave the others out?
In Hong Kong, if people going up the escalators are not walking up, they will stand to the right to allow those in a hurry to walk up. My son found that so interesting that he has adopted it back home. Even a 9 year old then could tell what is right and we couldn't. Instead we are good at locking people up, calling other races names and doing all this shit in the name of God. Sigh!
Well, let's hope those who read this will pass this on and try to build some good habits so that others may follow. Hopefully these are baby steps we can take. One at a time.
We have all kinds of bad habits and most of the times we display them in public places like hotels, shopping areas and restaurants. I am not talking about the hawker centers or side stall but restaurants that are supposed to be tourist spots who at that time was doing brisk business with tourist. So despite the poor service, people are still flocking to these places. What's up with that? Is it that our tour operators don't care about the kind of experience that the customer's are getting? Or is it that we have come to have such low expectations when it comes to service?
My latest experience took us to Melaka where we queued up for more than 20mins at a Chicken Ball Rice restaurant called Formosa. When we finally got a table, the server took her sweet time coming over to take our order. That was fine. We ordered and then waited another 20mins for food. Now correct me if I am wrong but isn't chicken rice already prepared?? Everything is already "pre-made" so what was the waiting for? That was not the punch line.
Our dishes came, but our rice didn't. When we asked our server, she went to the counter, looked at our order and said we didn't order the rice! Isn't the shop called Chicken Rice Ball Restaurant? Isn't that their speciality? Even then, who the heck eats chicken rice without the rice??? No one eats just the chicken doused in soya sauce and sesame oil!! That's a sure fire way to get your diabetes up! She then sulkily went to get our rice. No apologies, no attempt to move faster to get our rice. Just sulking to show what painful arses we are for making her work.
I am sure we see these types of bad service in a lot of places and I don't want to just point out Melaka as the bad example because we also had a very good experience for a cafe on Jonker Street called 1511. It was quaint like all shops and serves western and local. The waiter was very friendly is getting us a big table and he was so patient in explaining the menu as it was SO obvious that we were first timers. When the food came, he knew who ordered what and proceeded to explain how to enjoy it.
I don't think we need to be idolized and worshipped when we go out eating or shopping or were at a hotel. I think it is reasonable to expect people to be nice to you and take the trouble to ensure you have a damn good experience at their shops.
Another bad habit I think is the way we call out to the waiters or sales assistant. Do you realize that we always call out "HALLO" and it has come to a point that we call it out rudely? It's not even "hello" but "HALLO!". In CAPITALS!! What is wrong in calling out "Excuse Me"? It's the same when counter staff calls us. In the western countries they will say "I can help the next person in line". Here it is "HALLO!" or"NEXT!".
We have another bad habit queueing up as well, whether it is at the cashier, ticket counter or just going to the toilet. We will rush and form queues in front of each counter, cashier, urinal, etc. Can't we use the round robin way where everyone queues in one line and each goes to the next counter that is open. Unfortunately I see this at airports as well. For some reason, it isn't like that in Western countries. They all line up round robin and will take the next counter that is open, hence it is fair and efficient.
It's the same in driving as well. At an intersection, everyone allows the car in front to go first so each takes a turn allowing the other side to pass. When I first drove in the US, I didn't realize that everyone was giving way and did my KL thing where I just drove off without waiting for the other car to go first. I was honked and shouted at!! But I deserved it!
We are very quick to criticize the west when it comes to their lifestyle and I do admit, there are many flaws but who are we to judge and criticize? Can't we just take the good habits and leave the others out?
In Hong Kong, if people going up the escalators are not walking up, they will stand to the right to allow those in a hurry to walk up. My son found that so interesting that he has adopted it back home. Even a 9 year old then could tell what is right and we couldn't. Instead we are good at locking people up, calling other races names and doing all this shit in the name of God. Sigh!
Well, let's hope those who read this will pass this on and try to build some good habits so that others may follow. Hopefully these are baby steps we can take. One at a time.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Bollywood and Hongkywood Boleh
All these reviews on Hollywood movies got me thinking about movies from the mother and father land, India and China (they can fight about who is the father and who is the mother). As you know Bollywood is the fastest and most thriving movie industry, churning out more than 300 movies annually and Hong Kong or as I call it Hongkywood, shares the same passion for their celebrities and movies. I also know about Korean movies but we will come to that later.
I really wanted to share with you on how to make a Bollywood movie but first just to share the difference between Bollywood and Hongkywood apart from the obvious factors.
Well to begin with, Bollywood don't care what the rest of the world thinks about its movies or movie making style. It will dance and sing and change clothes all the way to the point where Hollywood may not understand. I find that very wierd since Bollywood is really like an exaggerated Hollywood musical. I thought Hollywood would take to that quite naturally. But that's so coool about Bollywood.
Hongkywood though, started with all that martial arts and death defying feats of jumping AND flying around, pretty much like a VERY exaggerated action movie. But they then veered away from that and tried to match Hollywood's expectations.
But I digress. Malaysia has its fair share of Bollywood movies shown on TV and lots of people are aware of stars like Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan, Iamsure I Khan (just joking), Kajol, Karina Kapor and older stars like Sashi Kapor, Kasut Kapor (joking again and it means "shoe chalk" in Malay, the stuff we put on our school shoes) and Amitabh Bachan.
The earlier movies were very easy to plot and script. If you remember the Digi ad where the mother was SMS-ing her son about his potential bride with bloodshot eyes and thunder and lightning in the background, that's pretty much the pinnacle of the special effects and the plot.
The script HAS to be as follows. 2 baby boys, sometimes twins, are from a family of good standings. More often than not their father is a police inspector or lawyer and their mother a housewife. From these movies, you would think that there are only 5 occupations in India, police, lawyer, cab driver, peasants and henchmen and all of them are males since the ladies are ALL housewives or girlfriends, which are future housewives.
So, bad guys will kill the father and in the turnmoil, the boys will be separated. The mother will take one and the other may be lost or presumed dead. Sometimes the mother dies as well. If that happens then one of the babies will be adopted by the bad guy. Whatever it is, one will grow up to be a police inspector and the other a criminal. They will meet through some SUPER coincidences and realize their brothers. Of course, its a lot easier to realize that if they were twins.
When the truth is out, there will be crying, thunder, lightning, shouting, hair pulling and gnashing of teeth. This is the height of human emotion drama. Accusations will be thrown and sometime someone will run away from home for a while to cool down. Eventually they settle into acceptance and they discover what happened to their father/parents and they will join forces to dish out an ass-kicking, DOSH-ing (that's the sound of their punches) and miraculously there MUST NOT be any bruises or bleeding from this serious ass-kicking. Just so that you know, we Indians hemorrhage a lot! Mind you the ass-kicking sometimes takes you through many streets. Sometimes a person is shot in one city and dies 5,000 miles away in another city.
All movies need a love interest and to me, this is the hardest part. I mean since all women are housewives, what role can they play?? So these geniuses write in the women to be their long lost sister, or step sister or half sister or uncle's sister's next door neighbour's gardener's daughter's tuition charge that they use to play together when they were kids. Not bad at all. So there will be courting and sometimes there will be raping where the sari top will be taken off by rolling the girl from it.
The rape scene always stops there and the next scene they will show thunder and lightning around the house. Then they will show the aftermath and she is still fully clothe minus the sari top but she still has her blouse, skirt and sari bottom. It makes us Indian men look like real lazy f***ers! Can't even be bothered to take off everything and do it right! What's the use of all that long hardware that we have???
The villan is also very stereotyped. First he HAS to have a bushy moustache curling upwards at the end. He must have these blood shot (those days TV was black and white so I am assuming it is blood shot), wide eyed, crazy maniacal look about him and its usually this one actor that plays the bad guy. Takes the suspense right out of the movie doesn't it? The moment he appears in the movie, you know he did it.
In the end, the bad guy dies or is arrested (normally dies tragically like hit by a train or fall off a cliff) and the hero will have no choice but to arrest his criminal brother as well, hoping the judge will give him a light sentence and he can be released early on good behaviour for following the script.
In between ALL the crying, ass-kicking, courting, shouting, raping, aftermath of raping, etc, there will be songs sang at a very high pitch by the women. It makes us Indian men seem as if we have hypersonic hearing like dogs. The singing will also carry on for days, different locations, cities and more importantly different clothes! Rolling down the hill and, my personal favourite, running around and hiding behind some trees are part of the deal. If you want to pass Bollywood 101, this is a must.
I don't get it at all. If a girl came to me singing in a high pitch tone, I will kick her silly and if I try to court her or talk to her and she runs behind a tree more than once, I am leaving her there! I ain't no botanist! I ain't interested in the damn tree! I don't understand the sari as well. I get it that it's a national costume but why all the layers and wrappings and multiple items? It will so slow down your sex life! Thank God I didn't date Indian girls! By the time, the clothes come off, someone will be asleep! But thinking about it, maybe they need it since India is going through a population boom right now. Slowing down sex life may seem the answer to this crisis.
So there you have it, a typical stereotyped Bollywood movie of old. After the 90s and Hollywood starting to take notice, the story line and fashion have become more open, contemporary and more sane! But the songs remain, as do the trees and hemorrhaging. So do try catch a movie sometime. I do recommend Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and Dhoom (Godfather type movie). Next we will talk about Hongkywood but now I gotta go to my sari-removing class.
I really wanted to share with you on how to make a Bollywood movie but first just to share the difference between Bollywood and Hongkywood apart from the obvious factors.
Well to begin with, Bollywood don't care what the rest of the world thinks about its movies or movie making style. It will dance and sing and change clothes all the way to the point where Hollywood may not understand. I find that very wierd since Bollywood is really like an exaggerated Hollywood musical. I thought Hollywood would take to that quite naturally. But that's so coool about Bollywood.
Hongkywood though, started with all that martial arts and death defying feats of jumping AND flying around, pretty much like a VERY exaggerated action movie. But they then veered away from that and tried to match Hollywood's expectations.
But I digress. Malaysia has its fair share of Bollywood movies shown on TV and lots of people are aware of stars like Shah Rukh Khan, Salman Khan, Iamsure I Khan (just joking), Kajol, Karina Kapor and older stars like Sashi Kapor, Kasut Kapor (joking again and it means "shoe chalk" in Malay, the stuff we put on our school shoes) and Amitabh Bachan.
The earlier movies were very easy to plot and script. If you remember the Digi ad where the mother was SMS-ing her son about his potential bride with bloodshot eyes and thunder and lightning in the background, that's pretty much the pinnacle of the special effects and the plot.
The script HAS to be as follows. 2 baby boys, sometimes twins, are from a family of good standings. More often than not their father is a police inspector or lawyer and their mother a housewife. From these movies, you would think that there are only 5 occupations in India, police, lawyer, cab driver, peasants and henchmen and all of them are males since the ladies are ALL housewives or girlfriends, which are future housewives.
So, bad guys will kill the father and in the turnmoil, the boys will be separated. The mother will take one and the other may be lost or presumed dead. Sometimes the mother dies as well. If that happens then one of the babies will be adopted by the bad guy. Whatever it is, one will grow up to be a police inspector and the other a criminal. They will meet through some SUPER coincidences and realize their brothers. Of course, its a lot easier to realize that if they were twins.
When the truth is out, there will be crying, thunder, lightning, shouting, hair pulling and gnashing of teeth. This is the height of human emotion drama. Accusations will be thrown and sometime someone will run away from home for a while to cool down. Eventually they settle into acceptance and they discover what happened to their father/parents and they will join forces to dish out an ass-kicking, DOSH-ing (that's the sound of their punches) and miraculously there MUST NOT be any bruises or bleeding from this serious ass-kicking. Just so that you know, we Indians hemorrhage a lot! Mind you the ass-kicking sometimes takes you through many streets. Sometimes a person is shot in one city and dies 5,000 miles away in another city.
All movies need a love interest and to me, this is the hardest part. I mean since all women are housewives, what role can they play?? So these geniuses write in the women to be their long lost sister, or step sister or half sister or uncle's sister's next door neighbour's gardener's daughter's tuition charge that they use to play together when they were kids. Not bad at all. So there will be courting and sometimes there will be raping where the sari top will be taken off by rolling the girl from it.
The rape scene always stops there and the next scene they will show thunder and lightning around the house. Then they will show the aftermath and she is still fully clothe minus the sari top but she still has her blouse, skirt and sari bottom. It makes us Indian men look like real lazy f***ers! Can't even be bothered to take off everything and do it right! What's the use of all that long hardware that we have???
The villan is also very stereotyped. First he HAS to have a bushy moustache curling upwards at the end. He must have these blood shot (those days TV was black and white so I am assuming it is blood shot), wide eyed, crazy maniacal look about him and its usually this one actor that plays the bad guy. Takes the suspense right out of the movie doesn't it? The moment he appears in the movie, you know he did it.
In the end, the bad guy dies or is arrested (normally dies tragically like hit by a train or fall off a cliff) and the hero will have no choice but to arrest his criminal brother as well, hoping the judge will give him a light sentence and he can be released early on good behaviour for following the script.
In between ALL the crying, ass-kicking, courting, shouting, raping, aftermath of raping, etc, there will be songs sang at a very high pitch by the women. It makes us Indian men seem as if we have hypersonic hearing like dogs. The singing will also carry on for days, different locations, cities and more importantly different clothes! Rolling down the hill and, my personal favourite, running around and hiding behind some trees are part of the deal. If you want to pass Bollywood 101, this is a must.
I don't get it at all. If a girl came to me singing in a high pitch tone, I will kick her silly and if I try to court her or talk to her and she runs behind a tree more than once, I am leaving her there! I ain't no botanist! I ain't interested in the damn tree! I don't understand the sari as well. I get it that it's a national costume but why all the layers and wrappings and multiple items? It will so slow down your sex life! Thank God I didn't date Indian girls! By the time, the clothes come off, someone will be asleep! But thinking about it, maybe they need it since India is going through a population boom right now. Slowing down sex life may seem the answer to this crisis.
So there you have it, a typical stereotyped Bollywood movie of old. After the 90s and Hollywood starting to take notice, the story line and fashion have become more open, contemporary and more sane! But the songs remain, as do the trees and hemorrhaging. So do try catch a movie sometime. I do recommend Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and Dhoom (Godfather type movie). Next we will talk about Hongkywood but now I gotta go to my sari-removing class.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Go Indy!
I just had to talk about Indiana Jones 4 in one whole posting. That's because of 3 things:-
1) He is my first Hero and since I was 11.
2) He gets to visit all historical places where there are treasures that will give you fame and glory AND kick some ass
3) I look a bit like him
Raiders of the Lost Ark was the first movie I went to see without my parents and I took the bus with my cousin KLY (or Loke Yew, I keep forgeting which name I use. If I interchange, now you know its the same person). My parents were very protective and didn't trust me to take the bus or go anywhere on my own. I had to sneak out to a lot of places but with my 1-year older cousin, I was taking the bus for the first time to see a movie without adult supervision.
Now if we were in a western country, the Chindian in me would have gone to try to see if I can sneak into a R-rated movie. But since we are in a country where censors will censor even kissing scenes (what a bunch of depressing and deprived bunch of yahoos), we had to settle for Indiana Jones. What a show it was and this was back in 1981 in backward Malaysia! He was SO cool! He had a whip, he traveled to find lost treasures and historical artifacts and he was funny!
I enjoyed the part where he gunned down a bad guy with a really huge sword after he exhibited some impressive sword play. Temple of Doom was a little disappointing since it wasn't really based on facts but more of a legend. Still it was Indy and Short Round was a good complement. 2 parts I remembered:-
Short Round : You call him Dr Jones, doll!
Indy : That's my professional name
Short Round : Lei lor sei cheong pai (in Cantonese meaning "You took 4 cars")
Indy (in a very white man accent) : Ngo mou lor sei cheong pai ("I didn't take 4 cards")
Last Crusade I thought was one of the best movies from Spielberg and Lucas. How the show takes us back to the beginning of Henry Jones Jr and another one of my favourite actors Sean Connery, playing his part to near perfection, was genuis. I enjoyed the scene at the fire place when they were tied together. It also meant something more to me because from a historical point of view and interest, I am very interested in the Holy Grail. I read on all that I can about it though personally I feel that it doesn't exist anymore. The grail used by Christ was most probably disposed by the inn that they had the Last Supper in. Since no one knew he was the Christ then, I don't think anyone thought about keeping this Holy Relic. Still one can dream.
So it brings us back to Part 4. There is a lot of mystery surrounding the pyramids, nazca lines and ancient civilizations which seems to suggest alien presence and that was the pretext of the whole story. It brought us back to the US Army store where they kept the Ark of the Covenant from Raiders. The story line was more fantasy than facts or it wasn't even keeping close to the facts. So if you, like me, expected to see something in the similar vein of the other Indy movies, you will be a little disappointed.
Just treat it as another action flick. I know they are trying to pass the torch to someone since Harrison Ford is not getting any younger but I really cannot stand Shia LeBouf (I don't know and don't care to know how to spell it). Spielberg's dependance on him is also annoying. Anyway his character was really a non-entity. It didn't really matter whether he was in the movie or not. He didn't contribute to the plot, to the action and to the whole chemistry. The only reason he was there was probably as an intro to the next Indy Jones' plot. That makes me even more brain-explodingly, stick-rusty-nail-in-my-eye-ly, poke-hot-rod-into-my-brain-ly, circumsize-myself-with-a-chainsaw-ly and lick-the-sewer-walls-ly painful! God I hope that's not what's going to happen.
Anyway, the alien thing was a little far fetched but to me, Indy is Indy. A lot of the charm was retained and I thought they let him age gracefully in the movie, showing signs of ageing, weariness and patience but still enough action to tell the world Indy is still kicking!
The Chindian's view on this; you get to globe trot (does that mean you do it like a horse?), find treasure, use a whip, shoot people, go to all the historical sites, win the girl and just be the all round good guy. Thumbs up! Bad points; you get a son called Mutt! Who the hell names themself Mutt!!! Even if you want to name yourself after a dog, like Indiana, choose la some cool name. MUTT!! That's like naming yourself Pariah! Geez!
So ride on Indy and I hope they find a cooler Indiana Jones should Harrison Ford retires. In the meantime, I am going to put on my Fedora Hat and practice my whipping on the neighbour's cats.
1) He is my first Hero and since I was 11.
2) He gets to visit all historical places where there are treasures that will give you fame and glory AND kick some ass
3) I look a bit like him
Raiders of the Lost Ark was the first movie I went to see without my parents and I took the bus with my cousin KLY (or Loke Yew, I keep forgeting which name I use. If I interchange, now you know its the same person). My parents were very protective and didn't trust me to take the bus or go anywhere on my own. I had to sneak out to a lot of places but with my 1-year older cousin, I was taking the bus for the first time to see a movie without adult supervision.
Now if we were in a western country, the Chindian in me would have gone to try to see if I can sneak into a R-rated movie. But since we are in a country where censors will censor even kissing scenes (what a bunch of depressing and deprived bunch of yahoos), we had to settle for Indiana Jones. What a show it was and this was back in 1981 in backward Malaysia! He was SO cool! He had a whip, he traveled to find lost treasures and historical artifacts and he was funny!
I enjoyed the part where he gunned down a bad guy with a really huge sword after he exhibited some impressive sword play. Temple of Doom was a little disappointing since it wasn't really based on facts but more of a legend. Still it was Indy and Short Round was a good complement. 2 parts I remembered:-
Short Round : You call him Dr Jones, doll!
Indy : That's my professional name
Short Round : Lei lor sei cheong pai (in Cantonese meaning "You took 4 cars")
Indy (in a very white man accent) : Ngo mou lor sei cheong pai ("I didn't take 4 cards")
Last Crusade I thought was one of the best movies from Spielberg and Lucas. How the show takes us back to the beginning of Henry Jones Jr and another one of my favourite actors Sean Connery, playing his part to near perfection, was genuis. I enjoyed the scene at the fire place when they were tied together. It also meant something more to me because from a historical point of view and interest, I am very interested in the Holy Grail. I read on all that I can about it though personally I feel that it doesn't exist anymore. The grail used by Christ was most probably disposed by the inn that they had the Last Supper in. Since no one knew he was the Christ then, I don't think anyone thought about keeping this Holy Relic. Still one can dream.
So it brings us back to Part 4. There is a lot of mystery surrounding the pyramids, nazca lines and ancient civilizations which seems to suggest alien presence and that was the pretext of the whole story. It brought us back to the US Army store where they kept the Ark of the Covenant from Raiders. The story line was more fantasy than facts or it wasn't even keeping close to the facts. So if you, like me, expected to see something in the similar vein of the other Indy movies, you will be a little disappointed.
Just treat it as another action flick. I know they are trying to pass the torch to someone since Harrison Ford is not getting any younger but I really cannot stand Shia LeBouf (I don't know and don't care to know how to spell it). Spielberg's dependance on him is also annoying. Anyway his character was really a non-entity. It didn't really matter whether he was in the movie or not. He didn't contribute to the plot, to the action and to the whole chemistry. The only reason he was there was probably as an intro to the next Indy Jones' plot. That makes me even more brain-explodingly, stick-rusty-nail-in-my-eye-ly, poke-hot-rod-into-my-brain-ly, circumsize-myself-with-a-chainsaw-ly and lick-the-sewer-walls-ly painful! God I hope that's not what's going to happen.
Anyway, the alien thing was a little far fetched but to me, Indy is Indy. A lot of the charm was retained and I thought they let him age gracefully in the movie, showing signs of ageing, weariness and patience but still enough action to tell the world Indy is still kicking!
The Chindian's view on this; you get to globe trot (does that mean you do it like a horse?), find treasure, use a whip, shoot people, go to all the historical sites, win the girl and just be the all round good guy. Thumbs up! Bad points; you get a son called Mutt! Who the hell names themself Mutt!!! Even if you want to name yourself after a dog, like Indiana, choose la some cool name. MUTT!! That's like naming yourself Pariah! Geez!
So ride on Indy and I hope they find a cooler Indiana Jones should Harrison Ford retires. In the meantime, I am going to put on my Fedora Hat and practice my whipping on the neighbour's cats.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
The Sequel.....movie critique
I don't claim to know anything about acting or editing or sound engineering that comes together to make the very magic of the silver screen. However, I have seen a lot of movies and my apologies to the best actors/actresses of our times when I make that marquee statement that Rhet Butler made to Scarlett O'Hara "Frankly, I don't give a damn" to artsy movies that place more emphasis on human emotions and the reality of life than action, comedy and lots of blood and gore.
Call me a Neanderthal. I don't care as I know most males and definitely MOST of Chindians share the same thinking.
It's not that we don't appreciate good movies and drama but we are not going to spend money to watch a movie where you will be crying your eyes out at the end of it. If I want to cry, I don't have to spend money to do it, I just look at my bank account. So let this caveman give you some rundown on the movies released last summer.
1) Teenage Mutated KickAss Brainless goofs-heads
This is a follow up from the animated series that hit our TV scene some years back. It was a novelty that fast disappeared into the sewer with Master Splinter and the Turtles hideout. I have a question. I am not a zoologist but aren't turtles supposed to be more sea dwelling and have flippers? Aren't land dwelling shelled creatures more commonly known as tortoise? Am I missing something here??
The animation is loads better and April, the female reporter who is ALWAYS the damsel in distress in the TV cartoon has a much more tough exterior and can kick some ass. However, this is one of those movies where you just leave your brains outside the cinema and collect them later. All in all, give it a miss but if you can get it on DVD, it will have its moments, like Michaelangelo's new job and the villians I thought were quite creative. How they fought it was lame though but that's cartoons for you.
2) Mummy 3
I am a HUGE fan of the Mummy franchise and it's mainly because of Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz and the chemistry than they generate right off the bat, when she was kissed by him at the prison after she confronted him about the whereabouts of Hamunaptra.
While this installment would have generated a pretty decent story line, the chemistry without Rachel is horrific. Sometimes audiences will take to a new person a little longer but there wasn't any effort to even just create a chemistry or atmosphere. I thought they would have done better if the story put Evie on some study trip too far away for her to join her husband and son.
Jet Li and Michele Yeoh were very stiff and wooden and anyone could have played their character. Don't even get me started on the actors who played Alex P'Connell and Michele's daughter. I still enjoyed it once I decided not to question it. So hurrah for the effects and well done on the Jet Li and Michelle fight scene.
3) Journey to the Center of the Earth - Why oh Why Brendan??
This was a super weakling movie. It seemed like a movie made as a school project or maybe Brendan Fraser was bored. It was lifeless, no chemistry, no real need for it and very poor adapted from the book. There was hardly anything worth mentioning at the center of the earth. There was a T-Rex running around but we already did that in Jurassic Park thank you very much. So it was a real bore and the 3D effects didn't really help as well. Don't even bother buying the pirated DVD even if you are a HUGE fan of Brendan Fraser. I am sure this is one he will want to forget.
If a Chindian got to the center of the earth, we would immediately start getting down to getting stuff we could see when we got out. Also we would be looking for things that could produce alcohol.
There you have it. I am sorry that I didn't finish it the first time. I was too busy hurling from the thought of the Journey.
Call me a Neanderthal. I don't care as I know most males and definitely MOST of Chindians share the same thinking.
It's not that we don't appreciate good movies and drama but we are not going to spend money to watch a movie where you will be crying your eyes out at the end of it. If I want to cry, I don't have to spend money to do it, I just look at my bank account. So let this caveman give you some rundown on the movies released last summer.
1) Teenage Mutated KickAss Brainless goofs-heads
This is a follow up from the animated series that hit our TV scene some years back. It was a novelty that fast disappeared into the sewer with Master Splinter and the Turtles hideout. I have a question. I am not a zoologist but aren't turtles supposed to be more sea dwelling and have flippers? Aren't land dwelling shelled creatures more commonly known as tortoise? Am I missing something here??
The animation is loads better and April, the female reporter who is ALWAYS the damsel in distress in the TV cartoon has a much more tough exterior and can kick some ass. However, this is one of those movies where you just leave your brains outside the cinema and collect them later. All in all, give it a miss but if you can get it on DVD, it will have its moments, like Michaelangelo's new job and the villians I thought were quite creative. How they fought it was lame though but that's cartoons for you.
2) Mummy 3
I am a HUGE fan of the Mummy franchise and it's mainly because of Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz and the chemistry than they generate right off the bat, when she was kissed by him at the prison after she confronted him about the whereabouts of Hamunaptra.
While this installment would have generated a pretty decent story line, the chemistry without Rachel is horrific. Sometimes audiences will take to a new person a little longer but there wasn't any effort to even just create a chemistry or atmosphere. I thought they would have done better if the story put Evie on some study trip too far away for her to join her husband and son.
Jet Li and Michele Yeoh were very stiff and wooden and anyone could have played their character. Don't even get me started on the actors who played Alex P'Connell and Michele's daughter. I still enjoyed it once I decided not to question it. So hurrah for the effects and well done on the Jet Li and Michelle fight scene.
3) Journey to the Center of the Earth - Why oh Why Brendan??
This was a super weakling movie. It seemed like a movie made as a school project or maybe Brendan Fraser was bored. It was lifeless, no chemistry, no real need for it and very poor adapted from the book. There was hardly anything worth mentioning at the center of the earth. There was a T-Rex running around but we already did that in Jurassic Park thank you very much. So it was a real bore and the 3D effects didn't really help as well. Don't even bother buying the pirated DVD even if you are a HUGE fan of Brendan Fraser. I am sure this is one he will want to forget.
If a Chindian got to the center of the earth, we would immediately start getting down to getting stuff we could see when we got out. Also we would be looking for things that could produce alcohol.
There you have it. I am sorry that I didn't finish it the first time. I was too busy hurling from the thought of the Journey.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Can holidays mix with history? Not always...
This post is in the middle of our Eid Fitri holidays. That's the beginning of the Islamic calendar and its a pretty big deal here in Malaysia. Most folks are away for the whole week and maybe more. So KL seemed a little boring. The sad thing is, it is boring because I don't have any close Malay friends that I can visit. How sad is that?!!? As a Chindian, I should epitomize the true multi-cultural nature of Malaysia. I mean the real multi cultural make up of our country and not what our PM and his other single-celled-beings making up our government says about what multi cultural should be, which is Malays are superior while others so called immigrants (even though you have been here more generations than those amoebas and sorry to insult the amoebas) are taxed to support the "superior race".
Anyway, I will aim to rectify that as soon as I can. I am not sure how but my looking and sounding like a Malay will definitely help.
So since I can't rectify it this year, the family decided to take a holiday to Kuantan for a couple of days by the beach. That was cut short because the Kuantan folks wanted to go elsewhere for their holiday. Can you believe these people? Abandoning their hometown the first chance they get??
It was decided that we go to Melaka to chill out, refresh our history knowledge and enjoy the "Peranakan" food that goes with it. In case I haven't mentioned it, I have a great interest in history. I read extensively (for a layperson) on any history articles, books, etc I can lay my hands on. It can be from any time or place but my favourites are always Middle East, Egypt (Ramses II), Genghis Khan, China, India and some parts of Europe.
I am always interested in Malaysian history and what better places that Melaka and Penang. We stayed in a 2-star hotel that was clean and sufficient (meaning no cable, swimming pool or room service but they had clean beds, towels and was ghost-free). Here are some of the places of interest we visited and food that we sampled.
1) St Paul's Hill and Dutch Square
This is the "nerve center" of the history of Melaka and Malaysia. It houses 5 museums! 5!! It is my absolute most favourite place!! I can spend days here and the Melaka Museum and the Cheng Ho gallery are a must. It tells the whole story of Melaka as well as the travels of one of the most traveled people in the ancient world, Admiral Cheng Ho. St Paul's Hill is where the first Portuguese fort "A Formosa" was built as well as St Paul's Church where the famous missionary St Francis Xavier was buried for 9 months. I particularly enjoyed the 16th and 17th century cemetaries.
At the bottom of the hill, you will see the remnants of the Dutch administrative buidlings as well as the Christ Church. Malaysia's Hall of Independance where Tungku first announced our independance is also in the vicinity, right next to the replica of a Melaka Sultanate Palace. If you are not sure how to get there, just follow the road sign to "Banda Hilir". You can't miss the red coloured buildings.
I am a history buff so this area is something that will send orgasmic shock waves through me. If you have a partner that does not share the same passion, it can be grounds for divorce.
2) The Maritime and Royal Navy museums
The Maritime museum is housed in a replica of the Portuguese ship Flora Del Mar which allegedly sank off Melaka. It tells a bit about the importance of Melaka as a port of major importance in the 15th century and how the administration of the port trade was built and maintained.
The Royal Navy Museum has an actual frigate in its court yard as well as many guns and ammo used by our Navy. Malaysia is a rather peaceful country, so don't expect to see the USS Nimitz type of carriers or destroyers. We have frigates to scare errant fishermen.
3) Tanjung Kling Mosque/Hang Kasturi's grave
It is one of the oldest mosque in Malaysia and has very unique and intricate designs. Good if you like architecture. Hang Kasturi is one of the 5 Malaya folklore heroes. You seen one grave, you seen them all.
4) Hang Li Po or King's Well/Bukit Cina
When the princess Hang Li Po was sent to Melaka to wed Sultan Mansur Shah, she came with about 500-600 attendants. They were given a settlement which is known as Bukit Cina today. The well that caters to their needs is still around and has never known to go dry. Anyway, her attendants inter-married the locals and we today know them as Baba's and Nyonyas.
5) Jonker Street
It is a long street that can be mistaken for Chinatown since its populace are Chinese and so are the traders. They sell all kinds of stuff from trinkets to magic cards to snackes and clothes. There are 3 famous chicken ball rice restaurants along this street and best to park your car elsewhere and walk. Saturdays are better but it will be packed but I strongly recommend this street and if you can stay in one of the heritage houses, better still.
One of the things to remember about the restaurants are that they were build or housed in really old buildings. The layout is the same, it is narrow (sometimes less than 8 feet but fantastically long. The middle of the house will have an open courtyard and an open roof. The restaurants we went to:-
1) Some chendol place along Jonkers, can't really remember the name.
When we were there, the crowd has not descended on this place yet, so there was no crowd and we could enjoy our food with some peace. It serves Melaka Cendol is various flavours (maybe that's why I didn't enjoy it very much) and has a lot of peranakan noodles. Food is ok, not great but with the crowd lining up waiting for a seat, you'd think it was from the gods!
2) Satay Chelop - Capitol
It combines satay sauce with lok-lok or steamboat. The food is boiled in satay sauce instead of clear soup, hence the name. Since the sauce is expensive, the restaurant owner has assured us that whatever sauce we don't finish will be put back into the pot for tomorrow's patrons.
So unless, you really like satay peanut sauce, have no hygiene issues and will DIE for lok-lok, I suggest you give it a miss. Oh of course there is a crowd! We waited for 30mins in the drizzle for a table!
3) Donald and Lily's
It is a very warm and cozy restaurant that serves nyonya dishes and dessert. Almost everything on the menu was worth trying and priced reasonably. The Nyonya Laksa and Chendol were their specialities but I will give 2 thumbs up for the Chicken Pongteh and the Assam Fish. You can give the Rojak a miss since the gravy is not as rich as the rojak we are used to in KL and Penang. A short walk from the restaurant is the Melaka River which has been beautified and spots a Water Wheel from ancient times.
4) Chicken Rice Ball
There are many restaurants serving chicken rice ball which is chicken rice in a ball (Duh!!). I actually don't really like it but its something different. We went to one of them called Formosa which was very richly decorated (it wasn't nice; in fact it was kinda tacky) with all kinds of Chinese paraphernalia including an Empress' chair (like I would know the difference).
Again with the waiting, then service was slow and stupid. The waitress took our order, brought the order after more than 20mins but didn't bring the rice. When we asked, she said we didn't order rice. I guess it is our staple diet to eat the dishers without rice in a CHICKEN RICE BALL restaurant!!! That's like ordering pasta but not serving the noodle like spaghetti or fettucine saying the person didn't order it.
5) 1511 cafe
This place serves both western and peranakan food. I really like the ambience and it is not crowded for once!! We didn't have to wait but not a place for a large contingent. Very cozy and the food was not too bad.
We did have fish ball noodle but I am not going to comment since we have that everywhere in Malaysia but I really wanted to try the Newton Food Court which looks huge and complete with food around Melaka and Malaysia. It is situated in front of Dataran Pahlawan.
Well, I always enjoyed Melaka for its historical values but now with Dataran Pahlawan and Melaka Megamall, you can have thrown yourselves to the decadence of capitalism and western civilization. So history can mix with holidays....with the right dosages.
Anyway, I will aim to rectify that as soon as I can. I am not sure how but my looking and sounding like a Malay will definitely help.
So since I can't rectify it this year, the family decided to take a holiday to Kuantan for a couple of days by the beach. That was cut short because the Kuantan folks wanted to go elsewhere for their holiday. Can you believe these people? Abandoning their hometown the first chance they get??
It was decided that we go to Melaka to chill out, refresh our history knowledge and enjoy the "Peranakan" food that goes with it. In case I haven't mentioned it, I have a great interest in history. I read extensively (for a layperson) on any history articles, books, etc I can lay my hands on. It can be from any time or place but my favourites are always Middle East, Egypt (Ramses II), Genghis Khan, China, India and some parts of Europe.
I am always interested in Malaysian history and what better places that Melaka and Penang. We stayed in a 2-star hotel that was clean and sufficient (meaning no cable, swimming pool or room service but they had clean beds, towels and was ghost-free). Here are some of the places of interest we visited and food that we sampled.
1) St Paul's Hill and Dutch Square
This is the "nerve center" of the history of Melaka and Malaysia. It houses 5 museums! 5!! It is my absolute most favourite place!! I can spend days here and the Melaka Museum and the Cheng Ho gallery are a must. It tells the whole story of Melaka as well as the travels of one of the most traveled people in the ancient world, Admiral Cheng Ho. St Paul's Hill is where the first Portuguese fort "A Formosa" was built as well as St Paul's Church where the famous missionary St Francis Xavier was buried for 9 months. I particularly enjoyed the 16th and 17th century cemetaries.
At the bottom of the hill, you will see the remnants of the Dutch administrative buidlings as well as the Christ Church. Malaysia's Hall of Independance where Tungku first announced our independance is also in the vicinity, right next to the replica of a Melaka Sultanate Palace. If you are not sure how to get there, just follow the road sign to "Banda Hilir". You can't miss the red coloured buildings.
I am a history buff so this area is something that will send orgasmic shock waves through me. If you have a partner that does not share the same passion, it can be grounds for divorce.
2) The Maritime and Royal Navy museums
The Maritime museum is housed in a replica of the Portuguese ship Flora Del Mar which allegedly sank off Melaka. It tells a bit about the importance of Melaka as a port of major importance in the 15th century and how the administration of the port trade was built and maintained.
The Royal Navy Museum has an actual frigate in its court yard as well as many guns and ammo used by our Navy. Malaysia is a rather peaceful country, so don't expect to see the USS Nimitz type of carriers or destroyers. We have frigates to scare errant fishermen.
3) Tanjung Kling Mosque/Hang Kasturi's grave
It is one of the oldest mosque in Malaysia and has very unique and intricate designs. Good if you like architecture. Hang Kasturi is one of the 5 Malaya folklore heroes. You seen one grave, you seen them all.
4) Hang Li Po or King's Well/Bukit Cina
When the princess Hang Li Po was sent to Melaka to wed Sultan Mansur Shah, she came with about 500-600 attendants. They were given a settlement which is known as Bukit Cina today. The well that caters to their needs is still around and has never known to go dry. Anyway, her attendants inter-married the locals and we today know them as Baba's and Nyonyas.
5) Jonker Street
It is a long street that can be mistaken for Chinatown since its populace are Chinese and so are the traders. They sell all kinds of stuff from trinkets to magic cards to snackes and clothes. There are 3 famous chicken ball rice restaurants along this street and best to park your car elsewhere and walk. Saturdays are better but it will be packed but I strongly recommend this street and if you can stay in one of the heritage houses, better still.
One of the things to remember about the restaurants are that they were build or housed in really old buildings. The layout is the same, it is narrow (sometimes less than 8 feet but fantastically long. The middle of the house will have an open courtyard and an open roof. The restaurants we went to:-
1) Some chendol place along Jonkers, can't really remember the name.
When we were there, the crowd has not descended on this place yet, so there was no crowd and we could enjoy our food with some peace. It serves Melaka Cendol is various flavours (maybe that's why I didn't enjoy it very much) and has a lot of peranakan noodles. Food is ok, not great but with the crowd lining up waiting for a seat, you'd think it was from the gods!
2) Satay Chelop - Capitol
It combines satay sauce with lok-lok or steamboat. The food is boiled in satay sauce instead of clear soup, hence the name. Since the sauce is expensive, the restaurant owner has assured us that whatever sauce we don't finish will be put back into the pot for tomorrow's patrons.
So unless, you really like satay peanut sauce, have no hygiene issues and will DIE for lok-lok, I suggest you give it a miss. Oh of course there is a crowd! We waited for 30mins in the drizzle for a table!
3) Donald and Lily's
It is a very warm and cozy restaurant that serves nyonya dishes and dessert. Almost everything on the menu was worth trying and priced reasonably. The Nyonya Laksa and Chendol were their specialities but I will give 2 thumbs up for the Chicken Pongteh and the Assam Fish. You can give the Rojak a miss since the gravy is not as rich as the rojak we are used to in KL and Penang. A short walk from the restaurant is the Melaka River which has been beautified and spots a Water Wheel from ancient times.
4) Chicken Rice Ball
There are many restaurants serving chicken rice ball which is chicken rice in a ball (Duh!!). I actually don't really like it but its something different. We went to one of them called Formosa which was very richly decorated (it wasn't nice; in fact it was kinda tacky) with all kinds of Chinese paraphernalia including an Empress' chair (like I would know the difference).
Again with the waiting, then service was slow and stupid. The waitress took our order, brought the order after more than 20mins but didn't bring the rice. When we asked, she said we didn't order rice. I guess it is our staple diet to eat the dishers without rice in a CHICKEN RICE BALL restaurant!!! That's like ordering pasta but not serving the noodle like spaghetti or fettucine saying the person didn't order it.
5) 1511 cafe
This place serves both western and peranakan food. I really like the ambience and it is not crowded for once!! We didn't have to wait but not a place for a large contingent. Very cozy and the food was not too bad.
We did have fish ball noodle but I am not going to comment since we have that everywhere in Malaysia but I really wanted to try the Newton Food Court which looks huge and complete with food around Melaka and Malaysia. It is situated in front of Dataran Pahlawan.
Well, I always enjoyed Melaka for its historical values but now with Dataran Pahlawan and Melaka Megamall, you can have thrown yourselves to the decadence of capitalism and western civilization. So history can mix with holidays....with the right dosages.
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