I don't claim to know anything about acting or editing or sound engineering that comes together to make the very magic of the silver screen. However, I have seen a lot of movies and my apologies to the best actors/actresses of our times when I make that marquee statement that Rhet Butler made to Scarlett O'Hara "Frankly, I don't give a damn" to artsy movies that place more emphasis on human emotions and the reality of life than action, comedy and lots of blood and gore.
Call me a Neanderthal. I don't care as I know most males and definitely MOST of Chindians share the same thinking.
It's not that we don't appreciate good movies and drama but we are not going to spend money to watch a movie where you will be crying your eyes out at the end of it. If I want to cry, I don't have to spend money to do it, I just look at my bank account. So let this caveman give you some rundown on the movies released last summer.
1) Teenage Mutated KickAss Brainless goofs-heads
This is a follow up from the animated series that hit our TV scene some years back. It was a novelty that fast disappeared into the sewer with Master Splinter and the Turtles hideout. I have a question. I am not a zoologist but aren't turtles supposed to be more sea dwelling and have flippers? Aren't land dwelling shelled creatures more commonly known as tortoise? Am I missing something here??
The animation is loads better and April, the female reporter who is ALWAYS the damsel in distress in the TV cartoon has a much more tough exterior and can kick some ass. However, this is one of those movies where you just leave your brains outside the cinema and collect them later. All in all, give it a miss but if you can get it on DVD, it will have its moments, like Michaelangelo's new job and the villians I thought were quite creative. How they fought it was lame though but that's cartoons for you.
2) Mummy 3
I am a HUGE fan of the Mummy franchise and it's mainly because of Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz and the chemistry than they generate right off the bat, when she was kissed by him at the prison after she confronted him about the whereabouts of Hamunaptra.
While this installment would have generated a pretty decent story line, the chemistry without Rachel is horrific. Sometimes audiences will take to a new person a little longer but there wasn't any effort to even just create a chemistry or atmosphere. I thought they would have done better if the story put Evie on some study trip too far away for her to join her husband and son.
Jet Li and Michele Yeoh were very stiff and wooden and anyone could have played their character. Don't even get me started on the actors who played Alex P'Connell and Michele's daughter. I still enjoyed it once I decided not to question it. So hurrah for the effects and well done on the Jet Li and Michelle fight scene.
3) Journey to the Center of the Earth - Why oh Why Brendan??
This was a super weakling movie. It seemed like a movie made as a school project or maybe Brendan Fraser was bored. It was lifeless, no chemistry, no real need for it and very poor adapted from the book. There was hardly anything worth mentioning at the center of the earth. There was a T-Rex running around but we already did that in Jurassic Park thank you very much. So it was a real bore and the 3D effects didn't really help as well. Don't even bother buying the pirated DVD even if you are a HUGE fan of Brendan Fraser. I am sure this is one he will want to forget.
If a Chindian got to the center of the earth, we would immediately start getting down to getting stuff we could see when we got out. Also we would be looking for things that could produce alcohol.
There you have it. I am sorry that I didn't finish it the first time. I was too busy hurling from the thought of the Journey.
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