The state of Malaysian English

Someone send me this and it is so true....proud, be embarrassed, skin crawling, whatever feelings you may have, it's just us. Have a good laugh.


Who says our English is teruk.? Just see below - Ours is simple,short,concise, straight-to-point, effective etc.........

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Foreigners: I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No Stock.

RETURNING A CALL
Foreigners: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who page?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY .
Foreigners: Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Foreigners: Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians:No-need, lah.

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Foreigners: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing the door) can ar?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Foreigners: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: Don't be shy, lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Foreigners: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Foreigners: I'd prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want lah...

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Foreigners: Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're
coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad, ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Foreigners: Excuse me, but could you please ! lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Foreigners: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time.. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Foreigners: We seem to be in a b it of a predicament at the moment.
Malaysians: Die-lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Foreigners: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: What happen Why like that....

WHEN SOME ONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Foreigners: This isn't the way to do it here let me show you,
Malaysians: like that also don't know how to do!!!!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Foreigners: Would you mind not disturbing me
Malaysians:Celaka u...

See, isn't it simple,short,concise, straight-to-point, effective etc......... ?