2010 is a defining year for me in many ways. In work, personal achievements and at home. The moment that scares me the more than ants in my pants is that from home. 2010 marks the year my son officially becomes a teenager. He turns 13. Though he is a late bloomer physically since he is shorter than his friends, a lot skinnier and under weight, he makes up for it in his thinking, actions and mannerisms.
While old folks like my mom would prefer that kids are round, fat and red cheeked, my son has decided that he is not going to take after me. He is small for his age and is very disadvantaged in sports. He doesn't have natural sporting talents like his cousin or particularly hard working and clever in his studies. His is at best above average and tends to be more careless and bored. He is not musically inclined and there doesn't seem to be any raw talent there.
In other words, he is a very normal, blend-in-the-crowd, not outstanding kid. But Mikey strikes you in other areas. His eyes for one. He is more caring, more observant and more street wise than I give him credit for. Even when he was younger, he will look after classmates who were weaker, slower or smaller in size. He makes sure that they are able to lift their bags seeing that the Chinese school education system, not only prepares you for government exams but also prepares you for a life as a Sherpa in the Himalayas.
Recently when he was playing badminton with his cousins, his younger cousin broke his glasses and had to play without them. Aaron was miserable as he couldn't see properly and was complaining that he had problems playing. He kept losing to the older boys badly and was miserable. So when it was Mike's turn to play Aaron, in solidarity with his cousin, Mike took off his glasses. Seeing that his vision was worst off, Mikey was on the losing end most of the time but he didn't mind. For that fleeting moment, it made someone else happy.
But above all, I enjoy Mikey's sense of humour tremendously. He is very quick and sharp. In this area and I am proud to say, comes mainly from me. His one-liners are witty, quick, funny and most of the time unexpected. I am quite happy to see his guitar is improving and he has really taken to the habit of reading.
So why is this scary?
I am afraid of losing him. Not physically but mentally. I lost my father when I reached my teens. We were close until my teens and that is when we grew apart. My dad wanted to maintain that father authority which was how he was brought up. Something like out of the Indian movie. Since I was as stubborn as he was, we just grew apart. Eventually when I was older, our chemistry clicked again and not too long after, he passed away. I miss him so.....and I lost so much time. I don't want that to happen with my kids.
So as Mikey become the first to reach teens, my fear and anxiety is at boiling point. Anxious because he is going to be an adult. He will start getting curious about himself, his body, the other sex, hormonal changes, smugness, attitude, party going, piercing, body tattoo, alcohol, smoking, drugs, petty theft, grand theft auto, gangster, organized crime, lawyer, politician, AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!
SLAAAAAAP!!! Thanks I needed that.
Will all that quality go away? Will he have friends that will support him and build their characters together? Will he stay firm and steadfast to good moral values? Will he be responsible in his actions? Will he stay religious and love God? What are his friends like? When the time comes, will I give him the right answers to "THE" questions? Will he meet the right girl that will complement him? Someone that makes his heart light and stomach knotted and knees weak? Someone who will love him and support him?
Will he be rich? Be a movie star or a famous sports personality or a famous singer? Will he give his father some of his millions and take care of him in his old age? Will he buy me a Porsche and a yacht in the south of France? If he doesn't, will I kick his ass???
My teens were very tough because we were poor and we had the challenge of a bigot and racist family. We overcame that but I grew up fast and left my childhood behind. All said, I was blessed with loving parents and a positive outlook in life, even though we were poor. It would have been a lot better if I found a way to communicate with my dad. When I got married, he told me that he never thought I could plan my wedding day well and pull it off. That's because he never saw me grow up to someone who can. I don't want that to happen between me and my kids. I pray to God every night, that He keeps my eyes, ears and heart open to my kids so that I am there for them and that I grow together with them.
Goodness knows I am still a kid trying to have a childhood I didn't really have. Good to know I have family who will help me raise my kids right. My bro Jude, cousins KLY, Mooi CC, Kwein CC and even Sow Yee (yes even her!). Of course their spouses like my sis-in-law and bros-in-law. All of Melissa's families, even the crazy ones because no matter how they feel about me, I know they love my kids. Of course there are many other family members that I can call upon and I thank God for all of them.
So, it's time to be a cool dad and a friend to my kids. It's bed time and I have to read to them. Geez, if I am this anxious about my son, not sure what's going to happen when my girl hit teens in 4 years.....OHMIGAWD!!!!!!!!
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