I talked a lot about naming your baby well so pls pay heed else you may end up with a homicidal serial killer on your hands! If you are still unsure, then you can use the methods that Native Americans use. Like "Dances with Wolves" or "Stands with a Fist" or "Shits while Standing". This method is simeple and easy to apply. There are 2 ways that you can use. First, when your baby is born, look around for the first thing that inspires you and second, is to give your baby some weeks and see what inspiring event happens that shapes your babies first actions.
So in the first method, you could look around and see your wife feeding your baby for the first time and name your baby "Woman Bares Tits" or "white Milking Tits". Other events could be like "Cuts Wrong Cord" or "Waterful Placenta", you get the general idea.
For method 2, some samples are "Screams at 2 hours" or "Baby Pukes on you" or "Drools like always". You can wait a year and get names like "Walks into walls" or "Kicks your Groin". So you are not confined by some name like John or Mary or Jill or Chastity; you know, stuff like that.
Now you are ready to get the baby stuff. Yep gone are the days where its just buying some napkins, some baby clothes and a basket. I mean how much clothes do they need? Are they going to a ball, the office, an important client meeting, to the football for a game? All they know is to lie down, cry, drool, cry, sleep, drool, eat, sleep, cry, drool and...oh wait....sleep. But new parents don't think that because they think their newborn is having the same life and thought process they have.
"What will people think if I dress my baby is this outfit? What will the other babies think?". Here's the answer, "Where is that tit?". They aren't into fashion but you new parents are going to some store like "Toys R' So Overprice You Have To Commit Felony To Afford Our Stuff and you will buy WHATEVER the store person tells you. You have no choice because the ads and baby industry will make Genghis Khan seem like Maria in Sound of Music compared to you, if you don't get the bottle-warmer, the diaper that absorbs more water than a hippo or the sterilizer or the steamer or liquid detergent that was developed in a secluded mountain in Switzerland so that you baby's skin will glow like those of angels.
Well, if we survived without it, our kids don't really need it. But I am was no better. I had spent so much that I believe was equivalent to the GDP of a small Latin American country. I can't confirm it without my auditors but it would be close. The object is to spend so much that your bank account is committing suicide. That way, you will feel justified that you have bought everything needed. If you have to take out a 2nd mortgage on your house, you have gone too far. That's for the 2nd child and only if you have twins.
So for now, enjoy your false alarms of labour. Your wife constantly going to the loo and you having to constantly remind her that she is gorgeous even when she has a durian doughnut stuffed in her mouth. Welcome pal, you are a husband!
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