As you can tell, I am really concerned about getting old or ageing. Not for the looks since I still retain my looks from when I was 20. But more for health and mind-losing. There are many signs that I have noticed to have occurred in recent years that has never happened to me before. If it's not ageing, the only other explanation is aliens shooting death rays into my head. Anyway, here are my top 10 ageing list.
1. You tend to forget things.
2. When you drive your car, you notice that people yell at you a lot. Often, these people are lying on your hood.
3. On more than one occasion, while shaving, you have noticed that your razor seemed kind of dull. Upon closer examination, your razor turned out to be your toothbrush.
4. You're always searching for the right word or name. You'll be telling an anecdote, and you'll get stuck on a name, and you'll tell your listeners: "You know! That guy! With the thing! He has that thing! That guy!" And everybody will start trying to guess who you're talking about, as if you're playing charades, and finally, after ten minutes of this, it will turn out that the name you're trying to remember is: "The Pope." By this time, of course, you have no recollection of the original anecdote.
5. You get up from you seat, walk over to some spot purposefully and then stop dead in your tracks because you forgot why you got up.
6. You tend to forget things.
7. You sometimes wear a bathrobe to the office.
8. And it isn't your office.
9. It isn't your bathrobe, either.
10. You tend to forget things and sometimes repeat them over and over again.
11. Numbers may not mean much to you (Top 10, top 12....what the difference?)
12. You cannot remember anyone's phone number anymore and without your mobile, you may get lost in the middle of the city and drool by the sidewalk until the police or welfare department takes you in.
13. You tend to address people younger than 35 as "young punks" or "whippersnappers".
14. You think all music that was produced after the 90s are garbage and toxic sewage. In fact, those are some of the bands' names.
15. You tend to repeat things and then forget them.
16. You have stories that have no points to it and as you tell it, you will see those around you walking away from you.
17. You wake up more than once to go to the bathroom at night and occasionally pee into the laundry basket.
18. You complain about the weather, young drivers and think skateboarders should be whipped.
And so, here are some of the signs that I have experienced myself. I would write more but it's time to go to the bathroom and I don't remember most of it. What's this about again???
Monday, September 28, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
A holidaying tradition
Last weekend was a long weekend for us with Mon and Tues being holidays in lieu of the Eid Fitri holidays which is the major holiday in Malaysia. In the past, religious holidays were fun filled and brings some perspective in your life of what family, love and neighbourly is about.
We have open houses where we will visit friends, visit families and you just see multi racial people just hanging out. Today we have cow-head protest over the relocation of a Hindu temple to their area. The temple is probably well visited about 3-4 times a year...ONLY. The church is well visited twice a week and on Easter and Christmas. Buddhist and Taoist have 2-3 celebrations every year. But the Muslims whose mosque has loud prayers 5-times a day, will send a cow head to protest another religion's place of prayer being relocated by the Muslim Government to their area. How sensitive and peace loving they are.
The Muslim community leader mentioned that he will hold an open house and invite the Indian community for the EId Fitri celebrations and hope it will show that it is only a small group of renegades who feel that way. In a way, I do applaud his actions but I must say that as a leader, he should ensure that every faction of the community is able to understand and be sensitive to the needs of other religions.
If you follow and read the Islam religion, the prophet Muhammad does talk about religious tolerance and leadership to the other religions and races. I am not against Islam but I am against those who forward their own selfish, myopic and medieval intentions in the name of any religion. These hypocrites who condemn other countries when they are insensitive to Islam and doing the same of that they are condemning.
We condemn Afghanistan, India, Myannmar for they way they treat their citizens and women and here we are advocating the caning of a woman who drank alcohol. A woman who is a PR of another country. I am not against them enforcing the Syariah law but don't you think caning a woman for drinking alcohol is super "Conan the Barbarian"? Who are we to condemn others? So what is the punishment for murder, rape and raping of your own daughter? Jail sentence.
I am also encouraged that we are allowing Beyonce to perform in Malaysia though we had to compromise on her costume. On Saturday, PAS Youth vice-chief Sabki Yusof said they would send a protest note to the Government over the concert, although he said there were no plans to disrupt the concert.
“We are not against entertainment as long as it is within the framework of our culture and our religion.
“We are against Western sexy performances. We don’t think our people need that,” he said.
What I want to know if this simpleton knows what the framework of our culture is. I am sure he has his own views of his religion but I am sure he is not speaking for the whole country. I am so sure he is not speaking for the whole of his race either. So before we criticize such demented logic, let's see what is the framework of the Malaysian culture. If he is talking of the Malay culture and since I am not a Malay, I will not question him on that but I sure as hell got a lot to say if he is talking about the Malaysian culture.
But that is democracy. We advocate free speech so we must allow those to protest in what they don't believe in. What I would like is for free speech to be really heard. The majority wants the concert with it's so called inappropriate dressing. We don't live in caves where we don't watch TV. We do see these performers in the skimpiest and we do have the internet for goodness sake. So let's get real. We are not simpletons.
This country has serious and real issues but Sabki Yusuf is concerned about what clothes someone is wearing on stage where there is no direct influence to the audience. Someone who is an international celebrity that could bring millions through sponsorship and tourist businesses to this country who has to feed people like Sabki Yusuf because they are too inept or lazy to get a job and depend on government handouts.
We have serious and real problems and I do suggest to the likes of these protesters to get real and start looking at solutions to these real problems. If you can't do it, then please stay in the government handout lines and make way for those who can do something.
But to all those forward thinking, evolved Muslims, I wish you with all my heart a "Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri" and God bless you and keep you always.
We have open houses where we will visit friends, visit families and you just see multi racial people just hanging out. Today we have cow-head protest over the relocation of a Hindu temple to their area. The temple is probably well visited about 3-4 times a year...ONLY. The church is well visited twice a week and on Easter and Christmas. Buddhist and Taoist have 2-3 celebrations every year. But the Muslims whose mosque has loud prayers 5-times a day, will send a cow head to protest another religion's place of prayer being relocated by the Muslim Government to their area. How sensitive and peace loving they are.
The Muslim community leader mentioned that he will hold an open house and invite the Indian community for the EId Fitri celebrations and hope it will show that it is only a small group of renegades who feel that way. In a way, I do applaud his actions but I must say that as a leader, he should ensure that every faction of the community is able to understand and be sensitive to the needs of other religions.
If you follow and read the Islam religion, the prophet Muhammad does talk about religious tolerance and leadership to the other religions and races. I am not against Islam but I am against those who forward their own selfish, myopic and medieval intentions in the name of any religion. These hypocrites who condemn other countries when they are insensitive to Islam and doing the same of that they are condemning.
We condemn Afghanistan, India, Myannmar for they way they treat their citizens and women and here we are advocating the caning of a woman who drank alcohol. A woman who is a PR of another country. I am not against them enforcing the Syariah law but don't you think caning a woman for drinking alcohol is super "Conan the Barbarian"? Who are we to condemn others? So what is the punishment for murder, rape and raping of your own daughter? Jail sentence.
I am also encouraged that we are allowing Beyonce to perform in Malaysia though we had to compromise on her costume. On Saturday, PAS Youth vice-chief Sabki Yusof said they would send a protest note to the Government over the concert, although he said there were no plans to disrupt the concert.
“We are not against entertainment as long as it is within the framework of our culture and our religion.
“We are against Western sexy performances. We don’t think our people need that,” he said.
What I want to know if this simpleton knows what the framework of our culture is. I am sure he has his own views of his religion but I am sure he is not speaking for the whole country. I am so sure he is not speaking for the whole of his race either. So before we criticize such demented logic, let's see what is the framework of the Malaysian culture. If he is talking of the Malay culture and since I am not a Malay, I will not question him on that but I sure as hell got a lot to say if he is talking about the Malaysian culture.
But that is democracy. We advocate free speech so we must allow those to protest in what they don't believe in. What I would like is for free speech to be really heard. The majority wants the concert with it's so called inappropriate dressing. We don't live in caves where we don't watch TV. We do see these performers in the skimpiest and we do have the internet for goodness sake. So let's get real. We are not simpletons.
This country has serious and real issues but Sabki Yusuf is concerned about what clothes someone is wearing on stage where there is no direct influence to the audience. Someone who is an international celebrity that could bring millions through sponsorship and tourist businesses to this country who has to feed people like Sabki Yusuf because they are too inept or lazy to get a job and depend on government handouts.
We have serious and real problems and I do suggest to the likes of these protesters to get real and start looking at solutions to these real problems. If you can't do it, then please stay in the government handout lines and make way for those who can do something.
But to all those forward thinking, evolved Muslims, I wish you with all my heart a "Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri" and God bless you and keep you always.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Blurry lines - a dash or reality and age
We always read about how people view ageing and how they react to events that are the cause of ageing. TV Sitcoms use it as a punchline and many a-times we will use it ourselves at the expense of our aging relatives, friends, etc. What we don't realize is that we are heading for a head on collision course with the ageing, hair line receding and blurry vision dose of reality.
For example, I do notice that my hair is starting to thin at the top!! At least if its the hairline, I could pass off for the Bruce Willis look. If my hair thins at the top, I will have the a real old fart kinda look! Why????? The biggest issue though is my eye sight. I have near perfect eye sight and I can see clearly when its far away. But lately, anything closer than 1 feet looks like a bowl of oatmeal to me. Also any font smaller than a french poodle will look like intestinal worms to me.
I first realized this when I was having problem identifying the food on my spoon as it comes nearer to me. It could have a cockrach on it and I would think it's a chocolate chip cookie. Whenever I am in a fancy restaurant that has those menus with fancy fonts in italics and loopy tails, my eyes go into a protest and refuse to focus. So I will just point at some random loopy thingy and say to the waiter,
"I will have this."
"You will have the "5% government tax"?"
"Make it medium rare."
Otherwise I will ask the waiter to pls ask the nice folks at the next table to hold it up for me. Eventually, I had to get those dorky reading glasses that you perch at the end of your nose and peer over it if you want to see above you. I couldn't wear it proper else everything will look 3 times larger and my brother (who is already the size of some construction vehicles) will now look like a low rise building. That is just not right. Also I don't want to be bumping into things like those old black and white slapstick comedy shows acted by Harold Lloyd and Charlie Chaplin.
So I take it in my stride. If I can't see my food, I smell it. If it moves, it's not good. If the party at my table looks disgusted at me, something terribly wrong is happening between the spoon, food and my mouth.
So, we the 70s children are slowly but surely growing in farthood, whether we like it or not! I welcome all others 70s children to join me. Those of you who are losing or have lost hair, don't despair (hey, it rhymes!!). We all go in different ways. The trick is to stick by each other and not to end up looking like those our parents' generation when they get old. Wearing pagaoda singlets, light blue boxers, sarongs, t-shirt buttoned to the top and pants pulled up to our man-tities.
For example, I do notice that my hair is starting to thin at the top!! At least if its the hairline, I could pass off for the Bruce Willis look. If my hair thins at the top, I will have the a real old fart kinda look! Why????? The biggest issue though is my eye sight. I have near perfect eye sight and I can see clearly when its far away. But lately, anything closer than 1 feet looks like a bowl of oatmeal to me. Also any font smaller than a french poodle will look like intestinal worms to me.
I first realized this when I was having problem identifying the food on my spoon as it comes nearer to me. It could have a cockrach on it and I would think it's a chocolate chip cookie. Whenever I am in a fancy restaurant that has those menus with fancy fonts in italics and loopy tails, my eyes go into a protest and refuse to focus. So I will just point at some random loopy thingy and say to the waiter,
"I will have this."
"You will have the "5% government tax"?"
"Make it medium rare."
Otherwise I will ask the waiter to pls ask the nice folks at the next table to hold it up for me. Eventually, I had to get those dorky reading glasses that you perch at the end of your nose and peer over it if you want to see above you. I couldn't wear it proper else everything will look 3 times larger and my brother (who is already the size of some construction vehicles) will now look like a low rise building. That is just not right. Also I don't want to be bumping into things like those old black and white slapstick comedy shows acted by Harold Lloyd and Charlie Chaplin.
So I take it in my stride. If I can't see my food, I smell it. If it moves, it's not good. If the party at my table looks disgusted at me, something terribly wrong is happening between the spoon, food and my mouth.
So, we the 70s children are slowly but surely growing in farthood, whether we like it or not! I welcome all others 70s children to join me. Those of you who are losing or have lost hair, don't despair (hey, it rhymes!!). We all go in different ways. The trick is to stick by each other and not to end up looking like those our parents' generation when they get old. Wearing pagaoda singlets, light blue boxers, sarongs, t-shirt buttoned to the top and pants pulled up to our man-tities.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Exam jitters - wait a minute....I had those DECADES ago!
Yep, it's time for those damn exam jitters again. Every biggie comes along and you lose sleep and also lose control of your bladder. Every 3 hours, you wake up to pee and then you dream that you didn't study for the exam and walk into the hall with a blank head (not that it's an different from other days).
It also doesn't help that it's been getting tougher and from Std 6, Form 3, Form 5, For 6 or A-levels or pre-U (whatever you went through) and then college and then......wait a minute! I have done all my exams! So what am I jittery about??? Aahhhh......it's a transference symptom. My first born, Mikey is having his Std 6 exams and these exams will determine the secondary school he attends, which is, if he gets bad grades, he will not only be sent to a BAD school but may even be asked to stay back and do an ADDITIONAL year, which he will then FALL behind, see his friends move FASTER than him, get depressed, get influenced by BAD kids in the bad school, IGNORED by teachers, gets into DISCIPLINE problems, kicked OUT with bad grades all his years, unable to go to college or even get a decent job, gets into CRIME, ARRESTED, INCARCERATED...SLAP!!!!!...Thanks! I needed that.
Phew! The worst thing is that I feel powerless to do anything for him. I wasn't great in school to begin with. Sure I aced this exam during my time but that was probably because it was NOT in Chinese! I am not very much of a teacher. So I can only look at him while he pores over his books, with his iPod on and his head bobbing to the beat of whatever song is playing, hoping that he is ALSO absorbing the facts in his books.
But what if he isn't? What if he is not getting it? What if he has mental block that day? What if he gets bad grades, gets depressed and de-motivated the rest of his life, lives in the streets or worst....works in the government???? How will I face my family with the shame????
Well, that's the 3-D of the Indian DNA coming out. You never heard of the Indian's 3-Ds? The Indians have 3-Ds, Drink, Drunk, Drama. I have the third-D in me.
Well, it's going to be the longest week of my life....until the next major exams. I guess I should take some Prozac or Valium, sleep it off and wake up on Friday. So, if you have the time, do say a quiet prayer for my son and the kids who are going through this "agony" now (though you won't know it, if you see them). Also if you see a dad, losing his bladder controls, going in and out of the school toilet while waiting in the canteen for the exams to end, spare him thought. Shoot a tranquilizer dart at him for him to sleep it off.
It also doesn't help that it's been getting tougher and from Std 6, Form 3, Form 5, For 6 or A-levels or pre-U (whatever you went through) and then college and then......wait a minute! I have done all my exams! So what am I jittery about??? Aahhhh......it's a transference symptom. My first born, Mikey is having his Std 6 exams and these exams will determine the secondary school he attends, which is, if he gets bad grades, he will not only be sent to a BAD school but may even be asked to stay back and do an ADDITIONAL year, which he will then FALL behind, see his friends move FASTER than him, get depressed, get influenced by BAD kids in the bad school, IGNORED by teachers, gets into DISCIPLINE problems, kicked OUT with bad grades all his years, unable to go to college or even get a decent job, gets into CRIME, ARRESTED, INCARCERATED...SLAP!!!!!...Thanks! I needed that.
Phew! The worst thing is that I feel powerless to do anything for him. I wasn't great in school to begin with. Sure I aced this exam during my time but that was probably because it was NOT in Chinese! I am not very much of a teacher. So I can only look at him while he pores over his books, with his iPod on and his head bobbing to the beat of whatever song is playing, hoping that he is ALSO absorbing the facts in his books.
But what if he isn't? What if he is not getting it? What if he has mental block that day? What if he gets bad grades, gets depressed and de-motivated the rest of his life, lives in the streets or worst....works in the government???? How will I face my family with the shame????
Well, that's the 3-D of the Indian DNA coming out. You never heard of the Indian's 3-Ds? The Indians have 3-Ds, Drink, Drunk, Drama. I have the third-D in me.
Well, it's going to be the longest week of my life....until the next major exams. I guess I should take some Prozac or Valium, sleep it off and wake up on Friday. So, if you have the time, do say a quiet prayer for my son and the kids who are going through this "agony" now (though you won't know it, if you see them). Also if you see a dad, losing his bladder controls, going in and out of the school toilet while waiting in the canteen for the exams to end, spare him thought. Shoot a tranquilizer dart at him for him to sleep it off.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Lassie the Wonder Dog - what about the family?
I was considering to get my children a pet puppy and was surfing the net to look at the right breeds for us. Like all Chindian guys, we are into big dogs. Not one of those toy dogs that you can differentiate between a cushion or fluff of cotton. I want a dog that can protect me and hopefully kill cats, not get carried away by cockroaches for their midnight snack.
As I was surfing, I came across the Border Collie which any bird brain knows is the breed that Lassie was. Now if you don't know what Lassie was, then you are very young and shouldn't be surfing the net!!! For your cretins who don't know Lassie, she was a character is the self titled TV show back in the 50s but we had reruns of it during the 70s (so that you know I am not THAT old!).
She belonged to this farming family which had a little boy named Timmy and as far as we can tell, this family folks don't go out of the farm. All the story is centered around them lingering around the kitchen, the farm, the tractor, the stream and so on, looking at the neighbours and wondering how come they have crops and farm animals. But it was a good thing too since every time they went out, this family is so moronic, they will ALWAYS get into trouble.
Pa will get stuck under the tractor or Timmy will fall into a quicksand. Now who in the the goodness of all that is green on this earth, buys a farm with a quicksand in it???? What was the realtor's selling point? "You can throw 'em sheep and cow carcasses in there." Also, how dumb do you have to be to get stuck under the tractor? Aren't you working on it all day since the beginning of life and you never go out?? Best part is that this happens EVERY week! What is wrong with you people?
Lassie will then go back and whine and paw and scratch at the folks in the farm house and they will keep on asking "What is it girl? Someone in trouble?" Remember, this happens EVERY freakin', gut disemboweling week!!! They will ask "Are you hungry?" Now a real dog would have "Hell yeah I am hungry" and would have proceeded to have a treats while Pa got steamrolled and Timmy deservedly sinks into the quicksand.
But eventually the signals travels all the way across their hollow skulls and they follow her and all is well....again. They will then all sit in the dining room serving some redneck, farm dessert while Lassie fills out their government farming subsidy forms, tax returns and the bank loan for a new tractor for Pa to get stuck under.
What an idiotic family. It's a good thing the stop the show because I am so sure that it they carried on, Lassie will not only let Timmy drown or get rolled over, I bet she will push him just to get him out of the way!! Heck, she may even learn to drive the truck to roll over the whole family.
As I was surfing, I came across the Border Collie which any bird brain knows is the breed that Lassie was. Now if you don't know what Lassie was, then you are very young and shouldn't be surfing the net!!! For your cretins who don't know Lassie, she was a character is the self titled TV show back in the 50s but we had reruns of it during the 70s (so that you know I am not THAT old!).
She belonged to this farming family which had a little boy named Timmy and as far as we can tell, this family folks don't go out of the farm. All the story is centered around them lingering around the kitchen, the farm, the tractor, the stream and so on, looking at the neighbours and wondering how come they have crops and farm animals. But it was a good thing too since every time they went out, this family is so moronic, they will ALWAYS get into trouble.
Pa will get stuck under the tractor or Timmy will fall into a quicksand. Now who in the the goodness of all that is green on this earth, buys a farm with a quicksand in it???? What was the realtor's selling point? "You can throw 'em sheep and cow carcasses in there." Also, how dumb do you have to be to get stuck under the tractor? Aren't you working on it all day since the beginning of life and you never go out?? Best part is that this happens EVERY week! What is wrong with you people?
Lassie will then go back and whine and paw and scratch at the folks in the farm house and they will keep on asking "What is it girl? Someone in trouble?" Remember, this happens EVERY freakin', gut disemboweling week!!! They will ask "Are you hungry?" Now a real dog would have "Hell yeah I am hungry" and would have proceeded to have a treats while Pa got steamrolled and Timmy deservedly sinks into the quicksand.
But eventually the signals travels all the way across their hollow skulls and they follow her and all is well....again. They will then all sit in the dining room serving some redneck, farm dessert while Lassie fills out their government farming subsidy forms, tax returns and the bank loan for a new tractor for Pa to get stuck under.
What an idiotic family. It's a good thing the stop the show because I am so sure that it they carried on, Lassie will not only let Timmy drown or get rolled over, I bet she will push him just to get him out of the way!! Heck, she may even learn to drive the truck to roll over the whole family.
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