Sea World - Arrr, me mateys!

Well GC Sea World is very far from any pirate infested generalization. Like all the other parks, it is capitalism at its best and everything is commercialized. Check out all the attractions at Sea World. You will see 2 very important recurring trends in the coming postings on our trips.

1) We ate A LOT of fries to the point of having homicidal tendencies
2) I complain about it a lot

So for the sake of future postings, just remember the two points above so I won't repeat it else I may have to take out my tendencies on you.


Sea World was the only park with a monorail and it took us around the park. Now most of the park's maps are drawn to include details and some visual information so the map makes the park look large. When we took the monorail, we realized it was really smaller and walkable. This is for the benefit of my cousin sister who kept wanting to be either chauffered or carried to every destination after she saw the map. So if you are torn between walking or taking the monorail, take the monorail first, then walk around the park.

You could take a helicopter tour of Sea World or the general area of Gold Coast and it only cost something like AUD50+ for a 5 minutes ride! Cheap eh? After tearing the kids away from the helipad while explaining to them that Daddy's tree just ran out of AUD and his oil well has dried up so that we need to spend wisely (meant, cheaply), we headed for the dolphin show. You seen one show, you seen them all. Some years back, Mikey swam with some Pink Dolphins at Sentosa Island, Singapore. He got to interact with the dolphins and ride on its fins. So this was a little anti-climax but a dolphin is a dolphin and they really continue to amaze me as to how intelligent they are which is more than I can say for some of our members of parliament.
One of the restaurants that we dined in had a very nice view of the dolphin's nursery.
One of my favourite exhibits was the polar bear. I can't remember its name but he was so playful rolling around with his tub, without a care in the world. Here was this 800lb mean killing machine who has no natural predator (except man) in all its mightiness and all he could think about was his blue tub!
Sea World has an "Animal Experience" program and one of the activities is to swim with the sharks and feeding them!! I don't know about you but I grew up in the 70s where they showed Rob Schneider chase a certain Great White Shark in this movie you may remember called "Jaws". Since then, thousands of hours of shark documentary has been made to show how they react when thrown a dead fish.

I think we ALL know the answer to that and that is, they go crazy and chew it up like McNuggets faster than you can say "AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!". So, forgive me if I think it is a little stupid to go into the water where 2000 teeth of pure killing instinct is just waiting for a good human-chop!
There were some rides and it was professionally set up, with the whole story line and premise of the ride like the one called "Bermuda Triangle". It was a boat ride into the "unknown" and then we fall down a 30 degree incline and got a bit wet. Some other shows were a water ski stunt show, a comedy skit involving seals and a 4D show on saving the planet and our sea friends.

For the kids, there was a section of the park called the Sesame Street Beach with all kinds of rides named after the characters. Check out the skyway or cable car. When we were there the first time, it was open but we were very unlucky that it was closed this time for maintenance. During June to early November, there is a tour that takes you whale watching but we skipped that (refer to paragraph where it says Dad is broke!). Also because the only thing we had in access were large cut fries and whales are so not into it! Also I don't think I want to invoke a 100meter behemoth's homicidal tendencies.

Ole MacDonald Had a Paradise Country Farm

Our first Gold Coast (GC) adventure stop was the Paradise Country Farm. It is a really cool get us which will allow you to experience life in a farm in Australia, which judging by the looks of it, doesn't seem all that different from those farm folks in the American Western movies. The main addition the Aussies have is sheep shearing. Other than that, it kinda involved a lot of poo or at least stepping on it. You can check out more details here at Paradise Country Farm. You may see more info here and that may be because, I am not really into farm animals. That's why I live in the city. If for some reason the city jobs dry and the only way to survive is by working in the village or a farm, I will be the first one to be going through the digestive tracts of wolves.


Our tram that took us to the attractions.

Some activities lined up for us naive city slickers are:-

1. Boomerang throwing - Some adult guys just hanging around throwing boomerangs and tried to catch it as it came back. 3 guys threw it 30+ times and only twice did it come back. I am impressed with the boomerang, just not these white performing city slickers. I am sure if a aborigine person did it, it will not only come back to him perfectly but maybe do a dance while at it.

2. Sheep rounding up by Ginny the sheep dog - Good ol' Ginny is used to round up these stray sheep but these sheep are so well trained, you get the feeling that Ginny didn't have to do much.

3. Cow Milking - It's a LOT harder than it looks. They tell you to squeeze and pull (or was it the other way around?). Anyway, Mandy got the best hang of it.


4. Sheep shearing - They bring in a whole stock of cows for us to see or "sample" with the most expensive and posh being the "Merino".
This is the shearer used on the sheep.

5. Animal Nursery - They had baby goats, pigs, koalas, kangaroos, chickens, ducks and sheep in a nursery where they were taken care of by the farm hands (or whatever they are called). It was a good time for our kids to see up close how to feed and bath and take care of these animals. Although my son and nephew got a bit distressed when they asked "What do you call a baby pig?" and I said "Suckling pig, sausage, ham, bacon?". I was right wasn't I?


6. Billy Tea and Sultana making in the wild - I didn't capture anything here. Tea making and baking in the wild just doesn't seem like an earth shattering item. The tea tasted like tea and the sultana was tasteless but I guess if you have been chasing cattle all day or sheep and had nothing decent, they will taste like heaven's gift.Melissa trying the Billy Tea (taste just like any tea only more bland).

7. Cattle rustling - 2 cow-folks (a guy and a gal) chase after a cattle to show how they bring strays home. If Melissa had her way, she would take many pictures with the cowboy named Cody. In all fairness, he was kinda good ruggedly looking.

Movie World - Groovy Baby!

Movie World was our first theme park stop. It is owned (I think) by Warner Bros since the sign says Warner Bros' Movie World. It was a tad smaller than Universal Studios and it will have to be since everything close at 5pm. No point making a park too big to complete before 5 now would it? It was done in true Hollywood, Disneyland fashion where they design the whole ride for you by means of the ambiance, decor, uniforms of the ushers and the dialog of the pre-ride. Super professionally done and truly enjoyable.


When we entered, the first person we saw was Shrek which is of course a man in a Shrek costume. This was, in our personal opinion, the best park in GC. There was a 4D show on Shrek which displayed the movie in 3D as well as water spraying on us as well as air shot between our legs when spiders were let go on the ground (in the movie la). One of the areas worth mentioning was that the usherers were really entertaining as they prepared us for the ride.

There was Austin Powers who looked EXACTLY like Austin Powers. He was really good (Yeah Baby! Oh Behave!). The excitement was dulled a bit when we rushed to take pics with him while our women folk exclaimed "Ping koh lei ka??" That's Cantonese for "Who is THAT?" Sigh...


There was Justice League with Wonder Woman. I was so excited to see her (as with many males) that I didn't take any pics of her parading down Main Street. I hope my cousins have. We did take pics with Green Lantern and Flash (Ping Koh Lei Kah?).


There was also a Batman show where he battled Ra's-al Gul's henchmen to save the day. He was just SO COOL coming in his Batmobile and it is the new Batmobile. We also visited Wayne Manor for a motion master ride.


Scooby and Shaggy also made an appearance with a rather round Daphne and Fred and a look alike Velma. Also appearing was the Mystery Inc van. There was also Catwoman who was very cold and villainy. The Scooby Doo ride was a lot like Space Mountain where we were tossed and turned in the dark. Also it was a mini pretty impressive horror house.


We did get a little wet from the Wild West Fall ride (or something like that). You ride a log and it falls off a high cliff throwing water up and falling on the riders. It was a cheap thrill but because it was super hot that day (36 degrees Celcius), we went on that ride many times just to get wet to cool down.


We did see a Harry Potter shop which sold wands at AUD80 but we didn't see any Harry Potter characters. I thought of dressing up Mikey as Harry Potter and make money from photo taking! Mikey does do a mean Harry Potter impression.

The 2 coolest rides were Lethal Weapon where your legs were hanging out instead of being in a car and Superman Escape, where instead of being pulled by cables, the car is being PUSHED out in a rocket booster-like sensation, where the roller coaster goes from 0-100 km/h in 2 seconds!! The narration says that this is an escape, "Superman style". It was super cool! And because of my woozyness, I didn't ride it.

We had many food outlets and for some reason, creativity is not part of the repertoire inasmuch that they ALL sold the SAME food. Burgers, sandwiches, nuggets, fish fillet and FRIES @#$%*. Some of the food trams sold pop corn and cotton candy. Thank goodness for the little diversity.

It wouldn't be complete with a little section for the kids since Warner Bros owns characters like Bugs Bunny, Tweety, Sylvester, Tasmanian Devil, Road Runner and Daffy Duck. All these rides, roller coaster, taxi driving, carousels and river rides were for made for kids until 9-10, depending on the ride.

This is a park that you shouldn't miss and I know there will be more rides open soon so if you are ever there, make sure you visit Movie World. Also when you see Wonder Woman, ask her to call me.

Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie - Oy, Oy, Oy!

Mr. Travel welcomes you again to one of his traveling posts. Sorry we have been out for a week and that's because we were away for our holiday. Mr. Travel with 12 other family members traipsed the Ozzie outback in the backwater known popularly as Gold Coast. So Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie - Oy, Oy, Oy is a chant that Australia's sporting fans do at their sporting events (lest you think I have taken leave of my senses).

I had a great time this holiday, partly because I really needed it and partly because I had all my family with me. The last time I was at Gold Coast was 8 years ago when Mikey was 3 and Mandy wasn't born yet. So in March, when Air Asia had a promotional drive for one day only for some ridiculously low priced fare, my cousin-in-law spent several hours on the internet ensuring we got out tickets.

Now flying with Air Asia is not too bad though it is NOT an experience to remember. When they say "Now everyone can fly". they really mean EVERYONE! This includes your folks who don't seem to understand the concept of reading your FREAKIN' boarding pass to tell you where you sit instead of squeezing yourself together with 200 hand luggage bags and then asking everyone where is your seat or just walking down the aisle aimlessly and then finding out your stupid seat is upfront and then you have to squeeze everyone out of the way AGAIN!!! But we will talk about this budget award winning airline in another posting.

So we landed at Coolangatta which was staffed by very courteous customs and immigration staff. We took our car and bus rentals (yes when it is a 12 seater, the vehicle is classified as a bus) and off we went to start our week-long adventure. Our apartment was really very comfortable and I highly recommend it. It was a service apartment which means it came with all the amenities of home. We had a fully equipped kitchen (fridge, electric stove, microwave, dish washer, utensils, pots and pan and I think there was an oven but seeing as none of us Robinson Crusoes can cook, we didn't pay too much attention to it).
That's our "Bus"

There was also a washing machine and a dryer as well as TV with cable!! The apartment had a heated pool and our place overlooks the deep blue Nerang River where there was also a park for joggers and cyclists. If you intend to vacation here, look up Blue Waters Apartment. Luckily we had full days planned else we would have had no problems staying at the apartment.

Here is our itinerary at a glance:-
Day 1 - Our first stop was Paradise Country Farm. It is built to simulate farm lifestyle so that we enjoyed Sheep shearing, drinking Billy Tea, rustling up stray cattles, caring for farm animals, feeding koalas and kangaroos and having A LOT of animal poo at the bottom of your shoe. Then it was shopping at factory outlets at Harbour Town where we bought breakfast stuff and had dinner at an Italian restaurant. We were amazed at the amount of fries that came with every dish. Are potatoes free here?

Day 2 - Movie World! Our first theme park. We saw Batman, Catwoman, Justice League (pity Wonder Woman didn't come out for a photo opp, I think you will see a stampede of hormonally discharged males rushing for that queue - my son and I included), Mystery Inc (Scooby and gang), Shrek and Austin Powers (groovy baby!!).

We had fast food at the theme park like nuggets, drummets and fish and fries. I guess fries are cheap at Movie World too. We could have fed a small Rwandan village with the left over fries. Went to Surfers Paradise for dinner and had Vietnamese noodles. Lots of souvenirs to buy.

Day 3 - Went to Sea World. Saw people swimming with sharks which I thought was so cool....as long as it wasn't me swimming there. We had burgers with fries, cake with fries and fish with fries. I swear to all that is DARK and EVIL, if I see another fry... We had dinner at Surfers Paradise and this time we had some pretty bland Chinese food but after all those FRIES....the bland food tasted GREAT! There were a LOT of adolescents (Year 12) who have just finished their HSC and started their holidays called Schoolies Week which seems to be their annual thing. So the beach was packed with young drunkards, idiots and floozies!

Had dinner at Robina Town Center which is a lazy, posh suburb. We had Noodle-in-a-box which was a Chinese takeout which we took out to a Japanese Restaurant where instead of a Kaiten Belt, they had a motorized train going around the table pulling the plates of sushi on a many carriages (or whatever it is called in railway terms).

Day 4 - Woke up at 5.30am to drive 2 1/2 hours north to Beera which is the location of Australia Zoo or Steve Irwin's Zoo. It was one of the most boring drives I had with the only scenic view coming when we crossed a river (can't remember the name). But the Zoo was well worth the trip. We had pasta (it comes with....you guessed it...fries), nuggets with fries and some Chinese food. Potatoes gotta be free! It was the cheapest location both in terms of souvenirs, entry fee and food.

Day 5 - It's time for Dreamworld! Yayyy! After all the other parks, this was quite boring. But we had lots of....its the f-word...that's right, FREAKIN' FRIES!!! Went to Surfers Paradise again but we went to a pretty decent Malaysian restaurant which had food just like at home but was nearly triple the price. You know what's cheap? If you can tell me, I will send you a mystery gift.

Day 6- It was finally time to go home.

In the next few postings, Mr. Travel will be giving you a more detailed account of the theme parks and our experiences with pictures. This will help you in your planning should you decide to vacation in Gold Coast. It the least we can do but when you are there, you have gotta try the fries!

Is that a FREAKING harpoon??

I am not one of those faint hearted people who have issues with medical situations. For example, I don't faint at the sight of blood as I can watch a full autopsy and still have my dinner (the good LORD alone knows why the heck we want to do this) and I was a whiz at dissecting any creature my biology teacher would throw at us. So it was a real surprise to me when I had problems with needles. It was very early in life that I discovered that...in Standard 6 to be exact.

There I was enjoying being 12 in a carefree childhood of playing marbles, hop and run, taichi, chopping, rounders (which glue sniffing moron thought up those names!). Next thing I know, we were all being herded, in alphabetical order to the First Aid room for our BCG shots. I never knew what BCG was but after googling it, BCG is bacille Calmette-Guérin, a vaccine for tuberculosis (TB).

So it was my turn very quickly since we are arranged by our first names and there was this nurse that looks like she stepped out from some Soviet interrogation camp and could bust my head wide open just by sneezing and was holding this thing that looks exactly like a whale harpoon. My teacher told me it wasn't going to hurt a bit and that was the last time I trusted any adult.

Of course it hurt! Next thing I know, I opened my eyes and I could see the ceiling. I had fallen off my chair. Anyway since that day, needles always made me woozy. I don't faint anymore but the mention of needles in the vicinity will make me suddenly remember of very important appointments in the next state.

One time, my cousin KLY had badly twisted his knee during a basketball game. He is what we call the "Knee-less Wonder" seeing that he does not have good knees due to his OBSESSION with basketball despite touching 40. He cannot walk down a flight a stairs properly that is without support and needs to walk down slowly one leg at a time. That's how bad it was. Anyway, this time was really bad inasmuch as he cannot walk! So he was on crutches but after insisting for 2 weeks it was just a sprain (classic guy behaviour), he realized that it was more than that. He realized that after astute observation that:-
1) He still can't walk
2) His knee is swollen as is his calf so that it looks like part of the Michelin Man
3) His knee is purple

So finally I accompanied him to the doctor and it was diagnosed that he was bleeding internally so much that the swell in the calf is his blood. So the doctor had to take this....you guessed it....HARPOON that looks like it could spear 3 whales in a kebab, and stuck it into his calf and starting sucking out blood from it. After pulling out enough blood to supply a small Translyvannian vampire coven, he took out the syringe, leaving the needle in it and stuck in an empty syringe to pull out some more blood! And he did this EIGHT times!!! Can you say Woozy-ville? I was seeing stars, leaping reindeers, talking frogs, and winged-like creature all swimming in front of me.

Sad to say, my son inherited this but not Mandy. That is one tough cookie. Once my wife slammed her own finger on my car door. All I have to say is that I am so glad...that it wasn't my fault or it would be added as grounds for divorce on top of all the other inept things that she is already accumulating.

So we went to the doctor and he said the fingernail had to pulled out (wooozzyyyy) but first he has to inject the anaesthetic into the top of her finger. Do you know how hell-on-earth painful that is??? That was the cue for Mikey and I to suddenly remember earth shattering things to do like watch grass grow. After a while, Mandy called us in, saying its all over and we walked in, only to see the doctor using a pair of pliers that can be used to dismantle monster trucks, to DRAG and PULL the nail out. We rushed out (woooozzzyyyy) again.

We were called in saying all is well now....only to see this Dr Frankenstein with a fish hook that is used to hook up space shuttles to sew the cut on Melissa's finger. (Did someone call us?). Then finally we were called in a third time and this time the ordeal has ended. All the while Mandy was watching the procedure and in a matter of fact voice asked if the doctor needs to cut off her mother's finger. She is acting as if it was an episode of Dora or something. Dr Freako commented that the girls in our family is really brave while the boys were useless. I would moonwalk up and down his ass but he has a harpoon!

Mr Politics - Bridging the Federal Deficit

Mr. Politics is really glad to hear that the government is continuing to lower the price of fuel despite them being able to make more money from the higher price. I understand that there is no need to subsidize our fuel and the government is still able to make a profit albeit a lower one. However, in times of financial turmoil and uncertainty, we have to do our part to help our government reduce our deficit. I am inspired by an article in The Star today that says "Taxi drivers will be allowed to do side business to help their income like selling mineral water or pre-paid phone cards in the cab". So you get a mini-convenience store thing going on in the cab. Well, I am inspired and I say, let's do our part. I thought of some ideas that I think can help.

1) Pass a tax for the super rich. If you earn more than let's say our annual GDP and is unable to show how you earned it and you don't want to go to jail, you are required to pay a tax of 40% of your annual income.

2) A RM20million Roman numeral tax on movies. So for example, Rambo IV will cost cinema folks RM80million in total. This will also reduce unnecessary movie sequel. It's a win-win.

3) A education related letter tax of RM50K for people who want to display their education certs a the end of their names. So Long John Wienerbaker PhD, MBA, BA, BSc, will pay RM550K a year for this usage.

4) A tax on smokers of RM1K for every pack they buy and another fine of RM100K for smoking in a non-smoking zone.

5) The Federal government should be bribed or bribe others directly so that we can take out the middlemen. Therefore, bribes will be less paid out and more paid in.

6) Rent our Nuri, submarines and Navy frigate out for cruises and parties.

7) Sent people to mug Singapore.

8) Take over the piracy business from the syndicates

9) Sell Perlis to Thailand

10) Charge Singapore for Jay-Walking lessons

11) Get the Malay people to start paying taxes and loans they took from the govt. Failure to do so, will result in running electric current through certain genitals!

12) A RM50Million Tax on any politician who start sprouting date of the change in government, elections, etc.

13) An additional RM1Million Tax for every mentioned politician that is supposed to switch party.

14) A RM5million tax a year on Samy Vellu for year he insists on clinging to power.

I can think of many more but I would like to hear from you. So pls post your ideas in the comments column and show our patriotic spirit in helping our government who has seemed to lost itself under all that cash stashed for themselves. Let's hear from you out there.

Mr Travel in New York Pt 2

From our last posting, I mentioned that we were traipsing around New York City with a few of my Microsoft friends and enjoying the sites as well as each other's company as we each painfully try to "feel" each other to eat in a "cheap" restaurant since we are cheap but don't want the others to know. Shopping was top of our list for the second half of our tour but the main questions on our minds were "What the heck was traipsing? Laying traps? And how do you spell it???"

We spent some time at Ground Zero. It is the site of the old World Trade Center and the 9/11 tragedy. The debris and devastation were long cleared. All that's left was the fenced up concrete foundation of the building. There was nothing to remind us of the horrible tragedy that took the lives of a reported 3,000 people or more. How do we count the losses or judge such a senseless use of violence?

There were some people looking in like it is some kind of zoo exhibit. But there were notes left by those who lost their loved ones that day or just people who came by. Notes that ranged from sadness, loss of direction, bewilderment at the loss, anger and just pure anguish. It was really heart wrenching to read the notes and imagine the situation of that day. No matter how hard I tried, I was unable to even come close to imagining the horror as well the pain of those who lived through the tragedy and watching others die around them. How did those who gave their lives for others would have felt and how did they rise above themselves to show true courage and humanity in times when New York and the world needed it.

As I reflected on the situation, I couldn't help but weep not only for those who died and for those who had to live out the loss but for the world in general where we let, yes we let, the situation to degenerate to such levels.

I watched others put flowers, notes and say prayers since there is little else they could do. I stood a little away from my friends to have a little private time at the site. At that time there was a debate going on as to what they want to do at this site. Some suggested a shrine, others asked for the towers to be re-built again. I didn't know what they should do. Eventually I think, they will build an office building or some other profit making solution but at that moment, it was my private time and my own private moment and my own private grieving for people I didn't know and for my world that has become so senseless and has de-valued human lives. I watched a little more, said a prayer and hopefully that it will be taken to comfort someone who needs it.

Then I slowly walked away.

Despite the poshness and the coolness of Manhattan where you have 3rd world country men driving cabs and a kebab stand at every street corner, we thought it was time to visit upstate New York. The cab drivers had names with characters that are not found in the alphabets but more likely symbols found in the periodic table. How the heck are you supposed to say his name? The kebab at the stands are AT LEAST 5 days old. That's the NYC standard and the oil has been re-used since World War 2.

But as a sports fan, I just wanna say that you have GOT TO visit Madison Square Garden. I am a huge basketball fan (though not of the New York Knicks) and The Garden is one of THE places to play. Sometimes they even have boxing here. Why I mentioned that, I wouldn't know.

So there we went traipsing (there's that word again) upstate to a place called Woodsbury Common. It was an out of the way place where nature is beautiful and you can get back in touch with your inner instinct. It's a 5 whole blocks of factory outlets!!! We went ABSOLUTELY crazy here. We were here from the time they opened at 10am to 6pm. While our heels and soles SCREAMED with PAIN and EXCRUCIATING ANGUISH, we enjoyed ourselves secure in the fact that I would have to sell some blood to pay off my credit card bills.

A friend bought 7 pairs of shoes. That's right boys and girls....SEVEN!!! Still in their boxes as she attempted to squeeze into our already cramped MPV. It was so bad, we had to pile it up to cover the back screen and I couldn't even see what the heck is heading towards us.

We stayed in this quaint bed and breakfast place that we booked online. I was sceptical of this white, clean, huge, colonial houses that is run by these seemingly retired and homely elderly couple and they have a porch with a swing where you can watch the world go by as well as a pond by the side and the woods behind the house with furry woodland creatures scurrying around a red tractor in the yard.

Sure that sounds heavenly. How do we know this couple is not related to Anthony Perkins from Psycho and that they are so starved of company that they will kidnap us, put us in chains and feed us till we bloat (pretty much like me now) and then skin us and dumping our bodies in the woods for the woodland creatures or drowning us in the pond for the Swamp Monster!!

Of course my fears were unfounded but just in case I always open my eyes in the bathroom even though shampoo is stinging me. Still they were very nice and made GREAT bacon and sausages.

NYC and its upstate has proven to be a really cool place with class and taste. There were unfriendly people of course but there were also really nice folks. You should avoid Bronx, Harlem and Central Park at night but we did walk all over Broadway and Times Square and met a lot of helpful people. Some offering to tell me when the world would end if I gave him a dollar. If that is not reasonable, I don't know what is.

Mr Tavel takes us to New York, New York!

Mr Travel loves New York so much, he is saying it twice!! You would have heard a lot of stereotyping of New York City. They say that a murder happens every 12 minutes, cab drivers (who are either Middle Eastern or Indian subcontinent) are crazy, people are rude, you can be lying on the road dying from massive loss of blood as demonstrated by blood spurting out of your neck artery and New Yorkers will just walk over you, going about their daily business. When my cousin visited Princeton in the late 80s, they were advised that if they want to walk around New York, they should go in groups of 20 or more so that they won't get...not mugged...but killed!

In my first and so far only trip to New York in 2002, I have to say, that not ALL of it is true. You can walk in the streets at night now as it is a lot safer. Hats off to Rudy Giuliani.

For those of you who don't follow world events, Rudy Giuliani was the mayor of New York during the 9/11 tragedy. His leadership and quick actions saved many lives and will be remembered a hero in his own way.

We landed in JFK and my impression of the airport was that it was a very unorganized, dirty and unruly. But it was a beautiful summer day and we 5 Malaysians who looked like any other New Yorker didn't pay much attention to the airport. New York was a lot like home in terms of its populace make up. There were Chinese, Indians, Hispanics, etc, with the pushing and shoving and not caring...so we felt right at home.

We were taken to our hotel in Manhattan and it was just 2 blocks away from Times Square. The first thing we did was to look up our former boss who came to take us to lunch at Hoboken, New Jersey. This is another place that has been stereotyped as rundown, poor, unkept and only the vagabonds and poor folks go there. However, because everything in Manhattan is crazily expensive, working folks have moved to Hoboken where it was cheaper. AS such the place has been spruced up and it looks like one of those sunny, retirement home suburbs. It was a simple, normal neigbourhood where everyone could know everyone by name.

Our first meal in NY was.....Malaysian Rendang!!! I almost kicked my ex-manager but since he was buying, I had to swallow it (literally). The owner of the restaurant was Malaysian and he was very happy to serve us but the food is just like home! Come on I just landed! It takes at least 5 days before I start missing home food!!!

We went to a lot of places in New York. I don't wanna bore you too much so I will give you the abridged version.

1) American Museum of Natural History
This is my No.1 destination! It was history paradise (as far as I know la. I haven't been to THAT many places..humour me). There were like 6,7 stories of exhibits displaying various cultures, historical events, different animals, eras of our earth's time, fossils of dinosaur eggs, extinct dinosaurs, dioramas like you wouldn't believe and a really cool T-Rex fossil in the foyer. If you want to know what it looks like, go watch Ben Stiller's "Night at the Museum".

2) Liberty Island - Statue of Liberty
This is the ultimate symbol of friendship and freedom...to me. I was really in awe of the statue standing overlooking immigrants coming to America in search of a new life. The view was fantastic both at the summit and on the ground. This is a true fact, at Battery Park (where you took the ferry to Liberty Island, we saw Shah Rukh Khan filming with Kareena Kapoor. Don't wanna brag but we shook hands with Shah Rukh Khan...pity we didn't remember to take our cameras!!

3) Times Square
It was a really busy intersection with neon lights making the night seem like day. There were many theaters around here and at Broadway and we saw "Beauty and the Beast" the musical. I don't wanna brag but this time, I didn't snore. We wanted to see "The Producer" or some play with Antonio Banderas but it was sold out. There were tons of restaurants to choose from but we had steak almost every night and each tasted different

4) Central Park
It's a REALLY HUGE park. We took a stroll through the park on the way to the Museum and almost died of exhaustion. In the day, there were street performers, musicians, comedians, mimes and really weird folks who wear their clothes inside out and go around trying to tell you something about the state of the politics. We were lucky we could still walk fast then.

5) Empire State Building
It's the view that was worth the trip up. The elevator was a bit worrying since it was an old elevator, so we were a bit concerned about the cables but a gorgeous view indeed.

6) Flushing Meadows
This is apparently a very Asian communal suburb so there were lots of oriental food and shops. The US Open stadium was also here. We took the subway everywhere but we did skip Harlem. In the morning we strolled around the Bronx which was a bit like Kepong in the old days. Scary like hell!!!

7) New York sight seeing bus
It was an open double decker bus that took a route pass every sight in NY.

8) Wax Museum
You seen one, you seen them all!

We didn't just spend time in NY but we did hang out at Woodsbury Common and at a very quaint couple's B&B. Stay tuned for next part but for now, I have to take the stage in a musical entitled "The Chindian's Dilemma"! Up Curtains!!!

Misunderstandings - The Chindian Stories

I have some really funny stories that a very good friend of mine told me of his experiences as an Indian man, married to a Chinese and obviously having Chindian children (DUH!!). His story is definitely not one that is unique and I am very sure it's one afflicting all Chindians AND mixed parentage people. After reading the chilling stories below, I do invite mixed parentage families to come forward and present your side of the story so that we can give the general public a much better understanding of how we are. Actually I am not very sure also la, so stand up Malaysian Chindians and be heard!!!! Ok so I drama a bit la...sue me!

When my son was 4, we sent him to a playschool and the teacher called his name 3 times. Whenever his name was called "Michael Sean David", my son would stand up but the teacher would ask him to sit back down and wait for his name to be called because she was expecting some Mat Salleh or at least an Eurasian boy.

My friend, Gerald whose daughter was in school for the first time and was asked by the teacher to raise their hands according to race so that she could record the number of students from each race. After counting, there was one more student in her class. She counted another time with the same results because Gerald's daughter raised her hands twice! Technically she is not wrong as she is Indian and Chinese. What a hoot! I am sure the teacher was super appreciative of it.

Gerald's daughters are relatively fair and don't look Indian so one day at Tesco, he was carrying his 2 year old daughter while her mother went to the ladies. She threw a tanturum (his daughter, not his wife though I think she would have too if it didn't look so wierd) saying things like "I don't want you", "I don't like you", "I want mommy", over and over again. The good news was that there immediately was an army of makcik (middle aged women) surrounding Gerald thinking he was kidnapping this fair looking kid!

He mentioned that she was his daughter and waiting for his wife. The security came over and asked to hold on to his daughter since she was obviously uncomfortable with this Indian man. Luckily his wife came back soon and all was explain when they saw that the mother was a Chinese. But this was a horrible experience for poor Gerald. Noticed I said poor Gerald and not poor me as I was laughing so hard a bit of pee came out, when I heard this story. What a wacky person! But it seems Malaysians do care after all.

Another time, Gerald (yep happened to him again) needed to get his house's auto-gate repaired. So his wife called for the service person and they were still fixing it when Gerald came home. He parked his car outside and walked in. He was immediately stopped and was told that he entered a wrong house as this was a Chinese house!! Really fuming Gerald shouted saying this is HIS house and HE was going to PAY for their work! Dammit!!! Yep, laughing and peeing again no doubt!!

My children unfortunately are having problems coming to terms with their race. They cannot understand why they have to be classified as Indians when they clearly are not! They are only 1/4 Indians but because we are so obsessed with race segmentation and we don't have categories for everyone, we just follow the father's race. Can you imagine my next generations marrying Chinese, they will soon look completely Chinese but will have Indian on the IC! Isn't that just screwed up???

My daughter has said that she is NOT Indian but is actually English! My nephews (children belonging to KLY) also thought that I was English mixed Chinese but that's because their perception of an Indian is very stereotypcial and I need to help change that but still, I am not fully Indian either. I am not English but not fully Indian nor Chinese either.

I am proud to be Indian but we gotta call it as it is. We are not going to be English la but we have got to either do away with this race thing since it is going to be redundant by the next generation. Still I thought those stories were funny. So the next time you see an Indian person calming down a Chinese looking child, pls rugby tackle the guy because he really could be a kidnapper. Even if its not, hopefully its Gerald and that would be another story to entertain me!

Mr. Travel on Disneyland - The Happiest Place on Earth

That statement is absolutely true. You cannot step into Disneyland without having this ridiculous grin on your face for no apparent reason. I think you have to be happy there. If you don't I think Disney's "happy-patrol" will detect sulleness and will swamp on you in Disney licensed character costumes like Mickey or Donald and will escort you away and put you into a Goofy suit until you start smiling again and can't stop skipping! My good fortune has taken me to 3 Disney locations, Disney World in Orlando, Disneyland in Anaheim and Disneyland in Hong Kong.

Of the three, Disney World was the one that was newer, had more stuff and a lot larger but Disneyland Hong Kong was my most fun even though it was the smallest because I was there with my family. I was, for the first time, sharing my childhood dream with my children and for a while transported back to being a kid....wait a minute.....what do you mean dim sum and char siew rice for 4 people cost HKD360??? @#&$%*

My first trip was way back in 1997 to Disney World in Orlando. Back then Microsoft was a heck lot more generous and everything was paid for. There were 3 other parks, Treasure Island, Disney Hollywood Studios and Epcot Center. The cool thing about Disney World was that all the hotels were connected by bus, monorail or boat...yes boat!!! I stayed at the Dolphin Hotel which was very posh and some of my buddies stayed at the Boardwalk, which had a jetty-like wooden platform for its path way. We then took a steamboat to the parks and other hotels! How cool is that!!!

Treasure Island was a fun fair type of amusement park where you can eat cotton candy and pop corn while rotting your teeth and innards and play toss the ring, toss the coin and toss the ball. Actually they seem more like toss the money. I did win a mini-basketball with an aligator on it.

It was more than 10 years ago so I this trip was kinda sketchy. I think Cinderella's castle was made out of pink cotton candy...not sure what to make of it. I remembered staying back a week with 5 other friends to visit the parks. I remembered Space Mountain was something we really enjoyed. There was a ride in Epcot Center where you traveled through the heart and my advice is not to go in with a full stomach. Back then the exchange rate was RM2.50 to the USD1. So I also shopped like CRAZY!!

I can't remember which year I was at Disneyland Anaheim but I do remember it was with my God brother Alex, my brown brother (another Chindian) Patrick and John (John is just John). We stayed at San Pedro (LA's harbour town, pretty much like Port Klang) where it was cheaper. The populace was very predominant Hispanic, so Pat and I felt right at home! We were treated very well by the Sunday crowd when we had lunch by the pier. They gave dirty looks to Alex and John. Maybe they thought these Twisties-eating office geeks (they even look it for goodness sake) was going to bust a Bruce Lee move when the most demanding thing we did then was digesting cold shrimps.

When we were at Disneyland's ticket counter, we were surrounded by summer-holiday-kids and there we were 4 towering adults queueing up for our tickets. The lady asked in a chirpy voice "How many?". I said, "4 adults pls" to which she asked "And?". I looked at her and in a very straight face said "Just us 4 adults going back to our childhood". She smiled and said, "That's nice. That will be 4 bazillion dollars pls. Have a nice day!"

We went to all the rides and waited for hours in line but with a wide grin on our faces. We were in Disneyland! How can you not grin?! (Also we don't want to go into the Goofy suit). Again, I can't remember much except for the Haunted Mansion ride and the Twilight Zone Hotel ride where they strap you down into a car that was made to ride like an elevator. They took you up, opened up a wall so that you can see how high we are and then dropped us free falling into an abyss of darkness! HAHA! What fun! Disneyland is so fortunate I am not a disgruntled lawyer!

Hong Kong Disneyland was wierd. First it was smaller and there was hardly any queue at any of the rides. I mean there was but shorter. Also hearing Mickey and Minnie speaking Cantonese was just plain FREAKY! It was smaller but they had that Autopia ride where you just sit in a car and it took you around and that Buzz Lightyear shooting thing. You get points when you hit the lighted targets. I don't wanna brag but I scored highest with 500,000 points with Mikey coming in next at 300,000. Mandy had about 90,000 and goodness only knows what Melissa was shooting at since she scored about 3,000 points.

I have to look back at my photos to refresh my memory on our activities. I think there was a time when we tried to invite some Malaysian Airlines Stewardesses who stayed at our hotel to dinner. WE had walkie talkies and send Pat "James Bond" Dutton and Alex "Simon Templar" Fong on this mission while John and I waited in the getaway car. We needed to get away FAST in case we fail so that we don't get embarassed. Needless to say, I drove VERY fast that night.

Mr. Cuisine One Dish Pot - Hakka style

My dear readers. I have decided to outsource my work to different people with expertise in their respective areas. There are a few of us in me; there is Mr. Politics, Mr. Movie, Mr. Sarcasm and Mr. Holiday. You would have read their articles previously. This time around is Mr. Cuisine.

Hi there food fans! It's time for Mr Cuisine's posting. It's about a very traditional dish from the Hakka clan (I am sure other Chinese clan have it as well). I can't for the life of me remember what the dish is called but it is something like Yat-Pan-Pou or Pun Choy or something like that.

The gist of the dish is to have multiple types of cooking in one pot. I guess it was to save time and money since the Hakka clan is prone to migrating around in China. In SG, this simple dish is made during Chinese New Year. Anyway, we were treated by my gracious brother-in-law who started a new job at one of our top banks (big bucks la that baarger!). That last parenthesis statement was made by Mr. Sarcasm, pay no heed.

It was a Chinese restaurant in Sg Buloh in a relatively secluded area (bless him to find it). The place was packed at 8.30pm and you have to call in advance to book the dish. The dish was placed in a round iron pot (I guess they couldn't find a claypot big enough) on top of one of those do-it-yourselves and looks like a lawsuit waiting to happen type of stove. And it was GOOD! (The dish, I mean. Not the stove)

The dishes on top were roasted duck, steamed chicken, some vegetables and braised prawns. The bottom were braised pork, pork leg and some other mixed dishes with rich gravy for your rice. There were 12 adults and we still couldn't finish all of it. That's saying a lot seeing that I was there together with my brother-in-law Bola (read previous postings). We were short of another food lover; that's my brother and he could have finished it. On top of it, it was the smallest serving.

I can't really remember the price but I think it was about RM218 for that pot which was pretty reasonable for 12 adults. Of course, this is very traditional dish where you have everyone dipping into one pot for the ingredients. So if you have SUPER hygiene habits like some self-important "ang moh", I suggest you stay at home in your bubble eating sanitized organic root chips.

If you are up to a new culinary adventure, this dish is pretty cool but before you come over, make sure you workout first so that you can elbow your way past 12 hungry adults to you food. Especially if Mr. Cuisine is there.

Are we there yet?

Look at how far the US has come. Let's hope we see that soon in our country. Pls read this flyer from one of my friends' blog at Progress

Quantum of Boredom

This weekend was 007 weekend. Meaning I dressed in my tuxedo and had my martini shaken, not stirred while racing through the countryside in my Aston Martin DBS with a absolutely impossibly beautiful 6 foot blond. Wait a minute, there is that baddie again bringing his car next to mine. Time to use my Omega wrist watch to fire a dart into his nostrils and watch his head blown clear off! Ok, now to activate my cars laser beams and cut off the tires on the other car. There he goes off the cliff!! Oh no, that helicopter has blown my tires as well and I am falling into a lake......

Whoa!! That's just my wife pouring cold water on me to wake me up!!

Yep, I am a HUGE James Bond fan. (If you didn't guess from the blazing 007 on the front of the blog...I dunno what to say to you!) I watched every movie and I remember a lot of the scenes and the lines. My favourite is when Sean Connery was caught by Auric Goldfinger, in "Goldfinger". Bond, "Do you expect me to talk?", Goldfinger "No Mr Bond, I expect you to die!". They just don't write things like that anymore!

However, my interest in 007 has waned a little since the sacking of Pierce Brosnan (he can't sing but he is my best Bond with Connery). I have nothing against Daniel Craig, but he is just not my idea of James Bond. He is very dark, sullen and have absolutely no sense of playfulness and humour. When he tried to seduce the MI6 field operative, Fields in the latest flick, it didn't even seem like he was doing it or that someone could fall for it. Just something in the script for both of them.

But Pierce could seduce, he could be cold, he could be passionate and he could be deadly, all the while being very classy. Casino Royale was ok once you got over the initial shock of how undashing James Bond was and how unclassy (or whatever the word is) he is, even when he tried desperately to be so. Daniel Craig could make a very good rugged hero, like Indiana Jones (Like, I said like. Don't go do it pls!) but he is not suave or desirable. He looks like someone who has a troubled life. The James Bond character had a troubled life but he could hide it. That's James Bond.

The Quantum of Solace story may get confusing and people may go off wondering what the hell happened. The action directing was really poor. The camera was too near and the action was too blurry. I think it is some new fangled artsy thing but I hope it doesn't catch on. It gives the impression that the stunts were fake and they were just trying to confuse the viewers, which they did. So let me try to explain the setting of the story.

James Bond first battled the evil organization SPECTRE which stood for Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion (hey it was the 60s), in the movie "Dr. No" in 1962. That was his primary villain. Then when the cold war was at its height, they switched to the communist Soviets. When the war thawed and Russian was a friend, they targeted all kinds of other villains from rich psychomaniacs to North Koreans.

So now, they are reverting to the villainous organization again so that James Bond can be apolitical (I guess they want to win over viewers in China, Korea and Middle East, who knows). So they created a new bad man, which is an organization that is not politically aligned to any ideology or country. Sort of neutral stand (that's wat apolitical means...DUH!).

If you don't follow the James Bond books or movies, you will be very frustrated at the end of the movie but if you know it, then the future of 007 is truly exciting. However, Quantum of Solace was a BIG disappointment and boredom for me. It had not the flair and formula of James Bond. Casino Royale was supposed to be the first Bond book and movie and it kinda took Bond back to the beginning. So hopefully with that premise out of the way, they can go back to the old formula. Here's hoping to other movies and hoping a new Bond will emerge and replace Daniel Craig.

But...I have to save another anatomically impossible buxom brunette from the clutches of the evil oil baron. I am going to shoot this grappling hook from my belt, swing over to grab her and use the magnetic field generated from my Omega to deflect the bullets being shot at us by the world's most blind army. I crash through the glass panes, into a tank and ride through Budapest. To escape, I will jump into this Lotus Esprit, sink into the Danube to rendezvous later with a British submarine in the Mediterranean.

The name is Bond, James Bond.

China calling!

As a history buff and half Chinese (some of you even accused me of being more Chinese than Chinese folks), I would really like to visit China properly. Which means visit all the historically significant places, like the Great Wall, Terracotta Warriors, Imperial palaces, the Yangtze Gorges, the Peking Man site, the palaces in Chende, etc. And I would like to go with a tour that is being led by some government entourage or at least some non-profit organization. I will tell you why.

I got to visit China twice but it was to Southern China where I went to Shenzhen and Dongguan. Dongguan is a huge province where my Chinese ancestry originated but since we came from a poor family and our families have been thrown apart through war and famine, I can't really pin point exactly where they are.

Anyway, my first visit was with my family and we wanted to go to "Windows on the World" which is a great park with mini replicas of famous buildings. They had the Eiffel Tower at one-third the height but still tall enough for us to take an elevator up. There was London Bridge, Buckingham Palace, Manhattan, Leaning Tower of Pisa, the Coliseum, Petra of Jordan, Pyramid of Giza and the Sphinx and even nature sights like the Niagara Falls. It is well worth the trip.

However, we have heard so many horror stories of Chinese unscrupulousness and how they value children, either for their own to be modern slaves, that I was SUPER stressed and almost called it off. Well just to inform you that I was wrong about this perception. The Chinese are SUPER unscrupulous!!! Fortunately this trip with my kids, we didn't see much of that.

To get there, we took the MTR to where it is joint to the KCR (Kowloon-Canton Railway) line. That will take you to Lo Wu which is the last port of Hong Kong before entering China. After immigration, you can take a cab to "Windows" but it isn't far so the probability of taxi drivers taking us for a ride (literally) was very real. Luckily there was the Shenzhen Metro Line which took us from Luo Hu (border town) to "Windows". It was more expensive but I didn't want to have any interaction with these taxi drivers. So, the whole trip was pretty uneventful and I was just very nervous about meeting the Chines people without any guides and minimized our contact.

We really enjoyed the park and my kids even got to ride on a real camel, so all's well that ends well. I was beginning to think how stupid I was to be so stressed that I didn't even stop to enjoy Shenzhen. Maybe these people are not so bad. HA! HA! How stupid and naive I was.

On my next trip, I was there on business and my business partner took the pleasure of hosting some of us for a weekend of fun, food and golf in Shenzhen. We were picked up by MPV and taken to this really huge hotel in Shenzhen (don't remember the name). It had a HUGE SPA. The moment you entered, these people will take of your every need. The only thing they didn't do was carry me and clean my genitals.

I was massaged with oil and with traditional Chinese bamboo where they form suction cups on your back of which after you look like the Gremlins about to pop alien pods of other Gremlins!! It was scary but very relaxing. I then jumped into different pools of sauna which were made of different herbs and were meant to heal difference areas of your body. What a lot of crap!! They were just hot water with "something" in it but to be able to charge the idiot tourist a lot more, they make up all their crap about healing qualities.

There were manicures and pedicures and foot reflexology (I really hated this and kept kicking my masseuse). Then there were all kinds of food but everything we touched was money! No one was going to even help you poor tea without a tip. Even the receptionist wanted a tip for guiding us to our seat at the reception while we waited for the "captain". It was like without her, we foreigners were going to embarrass ourselves by standing around and maybe even peeing on the carpet. When my friend's towel was used to wipe some coffee stains in the room, they wanted to charge us for laundry!! I told them, we will pay but we want the towel. So finally they relented but before making us know how upset they were with us by means of huffing and puffing and yelling at each other.

When we were at the clubs, you wouldn't believe that they have fake Black Label whisky! We confronted the manager and he said with a straight face, absolutely believing he was right and we were just one-celled imbeciles, "I don't find anything wrong with it. It may be different from yours because it is bottled here." I may not know much but I don't think Johnny Walker bottles it in China!! So we left and they were happy about it and almost kicked us out by means of cleaning the room the moment we said we will leave.

Our driver then took us to an apple stall and offered to buy us some. I declined and he went ahead to buy. When he came back to the car to take his change, I saw the stall owner change his selection of apples in the plastic bag to another bag!!! I told the driver and when he checked, his carefully selected apples were replaced with rotten ones. There was a huge quarrel and they almost came to blows. Luckily, common sense prevailed and I heard the driver call someone and asked them to "do something". I didn't ask and I didn't want to know.

In a flea market in downtown Shenzhen, my friend and driver got into another fight with the stall owner who claims that my friend broke a souvenir by touching it and demanded recompense. It was already broken but they left it there precariously hanging on for its dear life waiting for an unsuspecting idiot like my friend. Also at another stall, a buyer was shouting to the owner that she gave him a RMB100 but the owner gave her change for a RMB10.

I left China wondering how much worse is it elsewhere, especially tourist spots. China is lucky that it doesn't need to depend on its hospitality, service quality and even product quality. They have the largest consumer base as well as largest cheap labour in the world. Coupled with their land mass, it is an ideal place to make money. But because they know they don't need to please anyone, they have become suddenly greedy and unethical people, thinking only of themselves. For a communist country, I find it very sad that no one seems to care, even the authorities.

So if I ever go back again, I would like some armed guards or at least a government official who will tell me which is normal food, and which contains dogs, cats, worms, cricket, etc.....

An idiot in the house...and he is the PM!!!

I am not sure why but I was really thrilled with Obama's win to be the next US President. I don't think it will affect us very much and I was also curious to see people all over the world celebrating this victory. So did he win well because he was a beacon of hope for the people or were people just fed-up of Bush and the Republicans? Pretty much like our March elections don't you think? I have no qualms to believe that Anwar is bi-sexual (if you have seen him up close, you would believe it too) and I believe he is not our saviour or is he to be trusted since his groupies are already displaying signs of power hungriness. His PKR Youth group are just as bad as the UMNO Youth's Scorpion.

So did the opposition win because Anwar is really that beacon of hope for us or are we just fed-up with the incompetency and arrogance displayed to the rakyat?

My title of this post is more on what our out-going PM said when Obama won. He said and I quote "Anyone can be PM." Implying just like Obama, the minority has won. However, how hypocritical is he to suggest that for Malaysia when he either could not and didn't want to control that idiot in Penang who called us "immigrants" and jailed MPs and reporters for alledgely reporting falsely on the azan incident.

Do you think those backward, daughter raping, in-breeding, lazy, government hand out receipients in those heartland Malay areas will accept a non-Malay PM? I think the whites in America's redneck areas are getting a little worried. They have been so racist in the past, they ought to be wondering what the heck the black President is going to do. But the US is not like here. They have rules, check and balance and to some degree, intelligence and class.

We have full fledged morons who go around making corny and totally idiotic remarks about anyone can be the PM when he is part of the system and is ensuring that didn't happen. Since Badawi is passing the buck to Najib to be PM, why is it that only a handful of UMNO members get to vote that in March? Since he going to be the PM for Malaysia, shouldn't we have a say in it?

We can't because they know what will happen to their pathethic, whiny and corrupt NEP as well as their last desparate cling to government handout with that Ketuanan Melayu crap.

I am not against all Malays. I actually have a lot of Malay friends who are forward thinking, liberal, really intelligent (graduating from Oxford is not a criteria) and business savvy. Malays as a race are very hospitable and very charming folks. In the 50s up to the 70s, this trait has rubbed off onto the Chinese and Indians whom I personally think are not as open to other races.

However, I am sad that the change in US will not happen in Malaysia in my lifetime. Anwar is not it. Even he will protect the Malay supremacy and not open a new NEP for ALL Malaysians regardless of race. The plan is to eradicate and upgrade all Malaysians and not just Malays. I really hope that the liberal Malays will be more vocal and play a much larger part in our society and political structure. Otherwise, it will be a shame to see Malaysia dropping further behind.

Kimchi Warrior!

In the same spirit of traveling, I would like to share one more traveling adventure which was to Korea. It's actually South Korea but the poor Korean people have been trying to unite their country with those God-less, children starving, ego-maniacs from the north. The 38 parallel is today, the most highly militarized and hostile areas in the world. However, the folks in the south have been enjoying a thriving economy and this was our holiday destination.

We took this holiday with all of my wife's family. So there were about 40 of us including children and we were able to form our own tour group. This was important since my family is notoriously known to be late and if we were with other tour groups, they would have given us such intense "stares of hate" that I think it will actually give us radiation poisoning!

The first place we visited was the presidential palace which is the home of South Korea's president. I wasn't sure why we were taken here when we were still dead tired from our plane ride, hungry and really freaking cold! The first thing we did, when landed was all 40 of us rushing to the airport toilets to put on our long johns and layers of sweaters because it was about 3-4 degrees outside in the morning! So we just stood at the gates, looked around and climbed back on to the bus.

That kinda set the tone for the trip. If it wasn't for the company, I would have really disliked Korea. The food was tasteless, served either boiling hot or stone cold as if your taste bud needs to be shocked to life by heat and then frozen to death! It's nothing like the Korean food we have here. Also the people are very rude. They don't make the attempt to serve you or take the trouble to find out what you need. They just let you wander around until you want something. Then they expect you to just buy it with no human interaction. They could have put a watermelon at the counter and it would have been the same!

When we went to Lotte World, which was a giant theme park, we had to wait in line for every freaking ride. Of course it didn't help that we only had about 90 mins there so we were just rushing along hoping to catch one of the shorter lines. People kept bumping into us just because we were in the way. No sorry, no excuse me. They just bump you because they wanted to take a picture and you were in the way! A lot of them will cut your queue if you let them and these are not country bumpkin like those from China but well dressed and seemingly well brought up young people. Near the American base, called Itaewon, you can find peddlers selling trinkets who couldn't be bothered with you, the paying tourist. So if you find anything you like, you pay retail, no bargaining, no discount, no talking!!

However, it was not without its highlights. We went to one of those islands where they filmed some whiny, long winded Korean movie where the girly boy hero confessed his love or some really gorgeous Korean actress died...I can't remember which. There was a museum of Korean culture which helped a bit. Another museum worth going was the War Museum and it shows the sadness of a country divided. You will understand why there is a lot of animosity towards the Chinese who was largely seen as the cause of the divide and a lot of gratitude to the Americans and allies who defended South Korea.

One of the highlights of our trip was the skiing trip to Mount Sorak. It was the cheapest place in Asia for a ski resort. The irony is that Mount Sorak is just miles away from the border and the difference is really world's apart. The scenery was beautiful and the skiing facilities were really enjoyable. Notice I said skiing facility and not the accommodations. Our hotel seemed to be caught in some time warp that got stuck in the 60s. We had a TV which was 14" and uses a knob to change the channels. My kids thought it was a microwave since they only grew up on TVs with remotes. They were so fascinated that spent the whole day watching Korean shows (not knowing what the heck its all about la) when we were indoors.

We also slept on tatami at this hotel which was a kinda of wooden flooring or sometimes given to us like a mat. The floor was also heated so it kept us warm until a few hours later when it was sleeping on a bed of hot coals. Just open the windows and let the freezing air in to balance it. Don't worry too much about burglars coming in through the windows. Sleep well. HA!HA!

We also found out that Korean kids learn how to write in English but their speaking it is poor. That's because there isn't anyone around to practice with. Hardly anyone speaks English including those in the hotels. I actually saw ads of English speaking people offering the services just to converse. So when this Korean kid about 11 heard Mikey speak English, he kept hounding my poor son, trying to talk to him in 90% Korean and 10% English. Which meant it was still unintelligible! We tried politely to understand him but it was too hard so were just smiled and nodded. He was persistent though and helpful by helping us ordering snacks and stuff.

We learnt how to ski at night when the temperature was about -18 Celsius with wind chills. But the moment we started skiing, we started sweating and I would have gladly taken off my tops! Mikey was real weak and when he wasn't wearing much, he got sick and we had to take him to the doctor and he was out for the last day and stayed with his mom in the hotel. Mandy was a real tough gal. She slept most of the first day as we pushed her around but after that, she was the one wearing the least clothes in such chilling weather. I think she will grow up to be a singing and dancing Lara Croft of Kate Beckinsale of "Underworld".

I actually know a few Korean colleagues whom I like very much so I am very sorry to say that I didn't enjoy Seoul at all! The food was bland and the people as cold as its winter which was funny seeing that the proprietors of Korean restaurants in KL are really nice people. One thing we will take back is our skiing lessons which I learnt how to fall without breaking my ankles and good Kimchi! But watch it, I may cut your line!

Baby, Baby oh Baby, Baby

It has been the dream of the human race to retire early and enjoy our millions in a casual, carefree manner where we will sail the deep blue Mediterranean or Adriatic Seas from our summer homes in Monte Carlo, Monaco or the Greek Isles. Where aboard our sail boat or cruiser, we will sip champagne, served hand and foot with food that we can't pronounce so that we can turn to our spouse and shout like Sungai Way market peddlers "Ni ko mat yeh lei kah??". That's Cantonese for "What is thisthingy here?". Well recently, my dream seems to be taking a blurry shape. Blurry but there is definite shape. You see my 7-year old darling daughter wrote a song!!

Amanda or Mandy has always been very attracted to music. She picks up songs very quickly and even follows dance steps quite well. As young as 2, she will pick up Chinese opera songs since my mom used to watch them at home. The she will make us sit by the bed while she holds a "concert". She will then come over to shake our hands as singers do in a concert!

She can't really hold a tune yet and I intend to help her with it, if there is talent. However, she astounded me when she sheepishly showed me a sheet a paper (which I intend to frame up) with words to her song. Her very first song! Seeing that my son, Mikey has not shown any major improvement in sports, Mandy is my last home of a rich millionaire child supporting my dream. I will put her song here and it is copyrighted (trust me, 3 of my cousins are lawyers...you don't wanna mess with that!!). When you hear it on air one day, just remember, it was from my girl and you saw it here first.

"Baby, my Baby. Where are you? I need to find you,
Oh yes, I need to find you
Hoooo, so, I got to find you and you must find me
Oh I got to find you.....Oh Baby, Oh Baby, baby.
Where are you? ya..ya..ya...yayaya
So baby where are you baby, where are you?
Oh Baby stop hiding and come out
Ya...Ya...Ohhh.....ohhh"

Is this a hit in the making or what??!!?!? Or am I just a super proud and deranged dad?? I think she wrote it to the tune of Abba's "Honey Honey". When my children were born, I told myself that I will ground myself and not go overboard over the things they do...good or bad. In this case, I just can't seem to help myself.

Well, you can laugh but when I am on my yatch or sail boat being serve champagne and whatnot, I will remember you and send you a case of "Ni Ko Mat Yeh Lei Kah???".