If you are like me, a Chindian that is proud to be Indian and Chinese, you can't help but read the comedy that is playing in the political arena of MCA and MIC. These are the 2 largest and oldest political parties that are supposed to represent the interest of the Chinese and Indian races. Most of you will ask, how is it in the 21st century and in a supposedly developing nation are we still looking at race-dependant parties?
That's because we have idiotic, money grubbing, murderers for our "leaders". I don't know what is worse, the leaders we have (which are more than qualified to sit with the lab mice in a laboratory for bubonic plague cure) or the people who keep putting them there.
So let me play out the simple scenario of these 2 circus'. MIC which is to stand for Indian rights, was going for an election to see if their hair-implanting leader of 22 years will stay around or yield to a worthy successor. There were rumours he will go, he will stay which of course turns out that he will stay. Since he will stay, no one wants to challenge him for the presidency. Why? Would you bite the hand that feeds you? So MIC, like its other race-based party becomes nothing more than a farce.
The battle is on for the vice-presidency which our dear MIC leader goes all out to support a quiet, puppet that will follow whatever he dictates. So all the party money spent on elections was just to put on a show for the benefit of those with the minds of amoebas.
MCA saw a battle of egos between president and deputy culminating in the removal of the deputy. This drama had it all and I thought only the Indians were capable of drama. First was the sex scandal of the deputy and his "lover" of many years being caught in a hotel room that he frequents every time he is with the lady. Now if that doesn't get you the "Deserved to get your ass busted" of the year award, I don't what else will.
Then there was the corruption scandal involving the Port Klang Free Trade Zone involving billions which until today, no one could surface the irregularities. So there was sex, corruption, greed, ego and a whole lot of kindergartner mud slinging.
During an EGM vote, both were voted out. For once, I thought those with brains and logic prevailed. New elections would be called and we will get new leaders who will work for the ideals and the people. If you think that, you have not been paying attention.
Of course they both DON'T resign. Of course they both don't leave. You can't depend on a simple thing like good ol' democracy and party charter to get good corrupted and highly sexed men out. So the PM, who is no saint either, stepped in and told everyone that these 2 clowns will stay and to hell with the vote of no-confidence, for the sake of party unity. So the party voted them out but they are kept in for the sake of the unity of a party who don't want them in the first place....hmmm....I guess if you have been controlled by your wife like our PM, you get your brain muddled and turn to oat-like substance.
BAd news is that we continue to be puppets of UMNO as long as the BN is in power and we continue to be opressed subtly and our country continues it slow descend down the drain. But the good news is that, we will continue to have good entertainment since the circus never left town.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Deepavali - The Festival of Light....It ain't for all Indians you know!
We celebrated Deepavali or Diwali last weekend and it is the most religous celebration in the Hindu calendar. Though you had no idea how many folks came up to me to wish me "Happy Diwali" just because I'm an Indian. Now I don't really blame these kind folks and I don't take offence to it. In fact I was hoping for some gifts and presents and I tell you, we Indians are the probably the cheapest race on the planet.
Every other celebration, kids get money, presents, new clothes, etc. Only in Diwali, the kids had to work like crazy, since Indian parents are afraid to kill their kids for disobedience, and all they get are some super shiny new clothes in colours that even a blind gay man wouldn't wear. You know why Indians are darker? It's because our colours are SO bright, we get burned.
There is no money changing hands though I hear times are changing now, it is still way behind the other more money-centirc races like us Chinese (see how I said us Indians earlier and then said us Chinese? Only a Chindian can do that. Don't try this at home).
So as a Chindian I am so super glad to have 2 celebrations, so that I have back up in case one of these screws up but my 2 celebrations don't include Diwali. Here is the simple difference. Diwali is a religious holiday, just like Wesak and Christmas. Chinese New Year is a cultural holiday which just marks the beginning of the lunar new year as it is with mid-autumn, early-winter solstice, late-spring onion and just right-summer sweat festivals.
That is why Chindians ALWAYS celebrate Chinese New Year and may either celebrate Christmas, Diwali or Wesak, depending on religion. So for me it's Christmas and Chinese New Year and all the other Christian and Chinese seasonal holidays. Because I look like a Malay, I could do Hari Raya or Eid Fitri as well. Pretty cool for us actually.
I would have admitted to celebrating Diwali if it involved someone giving me money. So thanks to my friends who sent me countless SMS wishes, I wish all the best and in future, read about our holidays!!
Every other celebration, kids get money, presents, new clothes, etc. Only in Diwali, the kids had to work like crazy, since Indian parents are afraid to kill their kids for disobedience, and all they get are some super shiny new clothes in colours that even a blind gay man wouldn't wear. You know why Indians are darker? It's because our colours are SO bright, we get burned.
There is no money changing hands though I hear times are changing now, it is still way behind the other more money-centirc races like us Chinese (see how I said us Indians earlier and then said us Chinese? Only a Chindian can do that. Don't try this at home).
So as a Chindian I am so super glad to have 2 celebrations, so that I have back up in case one of these screws up but my 2 celebrations don't include Diwali. Here is the simple difference. Diwali is a religious holiday, just like Wesak and Christmas. Chinese New Year is a cultural holiday which just marks the beginning of the lunar new year as it is with mid-autumn, early-winter solstice, late-spring onion and just right-summer sweat festivals.
That is why Chindians ALWAYS celebrate Chinese New Year and may either celebrate Christmas, Diwali or Wesak, depending on religion. So for me it's Christmas and Chinese New Year and all the other Christian and Chinese seasonal holidays. Because I look like a Malay, I could do Hari Raya or Eid Fitri as well. Pretty cool for us actually.
I would have admitted to celebrating Diwali if it involved someone giving me money. So thanks to my friends who sent me countless SMS wishes, I wish all the best and in future, read about our holidays!!
Monday, October 5, 2009
One Wedding, one mooncake festival and a funeral
It was a relatively busy weekend for our family and there were some fun things that happened. Starting with Melissa's aunt who passed away. It was totally ok since she was 80, sick and suffering for the last 2 months and quite hate-able. So there wasn't any sorrow though anyone dying is never a time for celebrations....normally. So I had to take my mom-in-law who came all the way from Kuantan to the funeral. For those of you who have not attended a Chinese funeral, the wake goes on for an odd number of days with 3 days being the minimum. So it can go on for 3,5,7, days...you get the picture.
So after work and dinner, we arrived around 9pm and were greeted by her cousins whom we almost never meet. In a Chinese family, the only time you see ALL of the family members is during a funeral. Not Chinese New Year, not birthdays, not weddings but at funerals.
So we sat somberly, as how Catholics are supposed to. Once a cousin of mine mentioned that her Catholic relatives were very quiet during a wedding, so it must be that all Catholics are somber. That's like saying Attila the Hun was a peace loving man, Genghis Khan loves to knit, Gandhi likes to stick sharp, hot metal objects through the rectum of poor peasants and Vlad the Impaler likes cranberry juice! Ok, so we don't impale or hang or burn people...usually, but one thing we Catholics aren't is somber. Especially those Chindian ones.
The next thing we knew at the funeral, the "somber" Catholic Chindian was recounting stories about Chindians, about teaching my wife how to cycle or how paranoid she can be and about the funny episodes that just happen around me. I was holding a mini stand-up comic show. Our table grew bigger with more people sitting around, louder and funnier. Best of, there were no alcohol involved!
The next day, we decided to have a Lantern walk around our park with my immediate and extended family seeing that it was the Mid-Autumn Festival or Mooncake Festival. We had a mini picnic with mooncake (though we almost didn't have mooncake during mooncake festival. Can you imagine the sacrilege??), dried pork, fizzie drinks and a lot of snacks. We hung around chatting, telling tales of others, teasing one of my cousins who insisted that we can attended any of our relatives' parties even though we aren't invited, just we because we are related. I am glad I like this cousin, so she can gate crash my parties anytime. I feel sorry for those who aren't close and may wonder, who is this tall, gangly and slightly scrawny girl coming to my party of which I didn't invite? Oh the stress!!! It lead to one us commenting that she may have been adopted. It was a cruel thing to say but if you were there, you'd understand.
So we lit candles, burned up some paper lanterns, kids walked around wondering what the fuss was all about, while we adults laughed, joked and had a good time. We always say these outings are for the kids, who actually just wanted to stay home with their cousins and play XBox and Wii. I headed to the funeral around 11pm again and the crowd was still waiting for me to continue my stories. So lantern walk was hilarious and funeral was good plus I built relationship with a cousin-in-law who lives in Beijing and got invited to stay at his house, anytime! Not bad for a somber Catholic.
The following day, a cousin got married. It was a simple wedding but I got to meet a lot of relatives whom I have not seen in ages as well. So it was time to bring out the show even though my family are general just fun people and didn't need my show. The highlight of the evening was when my Chindian brother, who took up the WHOLE stage (albeit it was a small stage but to take up the WHOLE stage??!!) belted 2 songs by Beyond. Which is a big deal since Beyond's songs are not easy to sing and they are in Cantonese and my brother can't read Chinese. So it's was all from memory.
He was great! One Indian man in the crowd immediately got up and cheered and clapped. He even joined in the singing. You know when you watch those Indian Bollywood movies and you see whole villages suddenly getting up and joining the hero in song and dance, and doing it all in unison? It's all true. We can't help it. It's an Indian thing. We see another Indian singing or dancing and that's our cue to jump in with our dancing shoes. It's in our genes....and also the Banggara can be done by anyone even with 2 left feet and the motor skills or a watermelon. If more alcohol was involved and we belted an Indian song, this guy would have just adopted us.
So it was a good weekend of fun though I was monetarily poorer for it, I connected with a lot of my family. At my funeral, there will be mooncake eating, crotch grabbing, lantern walking and Banggara dancing!!
So after work and dinner, we arrived around 9pm and were greeted by her cousins whom we almost never meet. In a Chinese family, the only time you see ALL of the family members is during a funeral. Not Chinese New Year, not birthdays, not weddings but at funerals.
So we sat somberly, as how Catholics are supposed to. Once a cousin of mine mentioned that her Catholic relatives were very quiet during a wedding, so it must be that all Catholics are somber. That's like saying Attila the Hun was a peace loving man, Genghis Khan loves to knit, Gandhi likes to stick sharp, hot metal objects through the rectum of poor peasants and Vlad the Impaler likes cranberry juice! Ok, so we don't impale or hang or burn people...usually, but one thing we Catholics aren't is somber. Especially those Chindian ones.
The next thing we knew at the funeral, the "somber" Catholic Chindian was recounting stories about Chindians, about teaching my wife how to cycle or how paranoid she can be and about the funny episodes that just happen around me. I was holding a mini stand-up comic show. Our table grew bigger with more people sitting around, louder and funnier. Best of, there were no alcohol involved!
The next day, we decided to have a Lantern walk around our park with my immediate and extended family seeing that it was the Mid-Autumn Festival or Mooncake Festival. We had a mini picnic with mooncake (though we almost didn't have mooncake during mooncake festival. Can you imagine the sacrilege??), dried pork, fizzie drinks and a lot of snacks. We hung around chatting, telling tales of others, teasing one of my cousins who insisted that we can attended any of our relatives' parties even though we aren't invited, just we because we are related. I am glad I like this cousin, so she can gate crash my parties anytime. I feel sorry for those who aren't close and may wonder, who is this tall, gangly and slightly scrawny girl coming to my party of which I didn't invite? Oh the stress!!! It lead to one us commenting that she may have been adopted. It was a cruel thing to say but if you were there, you'd understand.
So we lit candles, burned up some paper lanterns, kids walked around wondering what the fuss was all about, while we adults laughed, joked and had a good time. We always say these outings are for the kids, who actually just wanted to stay home with their cousins and play XBox and Wii. I headed to the funeral around 11pm again and the crowd was still waiting for me to continue my stories. So lantern walk was hilarious and funeral was good plus I built relationship with a cousin-in-law who lives in Beijing and got invited to stay at his house, anytime! Not bad for a somber Catholic.
The following day, a cousin got married. It was a simple wedding but I got to meet a lot of relatives whom I have not seen in ages as well. So it was time to bring out the show even though my family are general just fun people and didn't need my show. The highlight of the evening was when my Chindian brother, who took up the WHOLE stage (albeit it was a small stage but to take up the WHOLE stage??!!) belted 2 songs by Beyond. Which is a big deal since Beyond's songs are not easy to sing and they are in Cantonese and my brother can't read Chinese. So it's was all from memory.
He was great! One Indian man in the crowd immediately got up and cheered and clapped. He even joined in the singing. You know when you watch those Indian Bollywood movies and you see whole villages suddenly getting up and joining the hero in song and dance, and doing it all in unison? It's all true. We can't help it. It's an Indian thing. We see another Indian singing or dancing and that's our cue to jump in with our dancing shoes. It's in our genes....and also the Banggara can be done by anyone even with 2 left feet and the motor skills or a watermelon. If more alcohol was involved and we belted an Indian song, this guy would have just adopted us.
So it was a good weekend of fun though I was monetarily poorer for it, I connected with a lot of my family. At my funeral, there will be mooncake eating, crotch grabbing, lantern walking and Banggara dancing!!
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