To plug or not to plug....

Some years ago when i was still committed to lose weight, i experimented with a drug called Xenical. It was a safe drug that combined with a low fat diet can help with weight lost. The operative word here is diet....and low and fat. Ok its 3 words. While i was trying it, I did manage to lose 5kg in 6 weeks. However with all good things, it came with a price. Actually it came with a superbly embarassing gross leakage. If you google xenical, there is a FDA website that list these side effects of xenical.

What are some possible side effects of Xenical? (This is NOT a complete list of side effects reported with Xenical. Your health care provider can discuss with you a more complete list of side effects.)

Oily spotting
Gas with discharge
Urgent need to have a bowel movement
Oily or fatty stools
Oily discharge
Increased number of bowel movements
Inability to control bowel movements

You may think that these are just a list they put up to cover all bases and that it's not really what will happen. Well, you will be right because, what really happens is a heck LOT MORE!!! For one thing you have this uncontrollable oily discharge that just seeps out of your ass like a beautiful red oily lava waterfall that will flow down your leg, turning everything red, oily, sticky and it won't stop until it turns your underwear, pants, socks and face red!

If only I found an oil well that was dat accommodating, I will be an overnight billionaire. Instead I get an oil spill that will rival Exxon Valdez. Just check out the last 2 statements. Inrease number of bowel movements AND inability to control them. Isn't that like a combination from hell??? You betcha, Johnny!!!!! It says spotting....only if de spots are the size of the Caspian Sea.

Then my resolve to lose weight was very strong so I had to find a way to stop these...err...anal leakages. To do that I had to resort to some of the most humiliating dress combinations a guy could go through. First option was to look into adult diapers. However, these diapers are big and not only does it make a noise when you walk, it make your ass look like its trying to smuggle a family of Indonesians into the country. So we moved on to panty liners. It was more practical but boy does it make you feel so very conscious with this sensation of something threatening to crawl up the crack of your ass and INTO...well...you know. It is NOT a happy feeling boys n girls!!!!

I was NOT going to try tampons as NOTHING IS GOING UP THIS WAZZU!!! Sanitary pads are out. I have not reached the cross dressing part of my personality yet. Also it is so difficult to decide between wings, normal, heavy, etc. The stool is also an interesting phenomenon. The term interesting is similar to when you are inspecting the insides of sewer treatment plant....BEFORE the treatment. Actually i have a very good similie to the way your stool will look. It looks like the soup of the "Har-Meen" or prawn mee in any KL hawker center. Happy eating!

Anyway, I am feeling really strongly about giving it another shot. I still have not figured out anal leakage or uncontrollable bowel movements but I think I will look into some thongs and G-strings with thin sanitary pads. It will look good, pretty much like how it would look if a rhino would wear a thong while having its period. Hope I didnt put too many images in your head. Sweet dreams!! Anyway after all dat girly dressing, I am going to order a large portion of steak with beer and holler at some sluts down at the local saloon.