It is always interesting that I get asked a lot by women about what we Chindians think or want in love. I don't have many girlfriends but I got a lot of girls who are friends. That's because I sincerely believe that there is a feminine side of my thinking that has been influenced by going to the market and meeting all these "aunties" since I was young. So what I get is a lot of women who want to be my friend but not my lover since they treat like one of the girls....honestly, I ain't complaining. I get inroads into the maze that is the female mind and someday I am going to make a fortune off it.
There is nothing particularly special about Chindian men. We want the same things other men want and how we are, depends on how we were brought up and the external influences we were exposed to. I think there is an expectation on Chindian men to be more sensitive than an Indian, less chauvinistic than a Chinese and more romantic than both. Well, most of the time, we are. Better looking to! You should really see my Chindian cousins. If we weren't in Asia, they would be in the Oscars by now!
I think there is also a very real expectation for the Chindian men to make the first move. Men, I think has been tasked to always make the first move when it comes to meeting a girl he likes. I really don't understand that! How come we got this stuck on us??? I know women don't have it easy as well and I go down on my knees every night to thank God for letting women have children. And because of that, we get stuck with the wrong end of social standards.
If you read a women magazine, you will always see 2 major surveys happening. "Why men are scum" and "How to get men". There are articles mentioning on how to change a man, why men are so inept in bed, why men don't listen, why men can't do the housework, etc. These are standards IMPOSED on us! We didn't agree to them! We didn't agree that climaxing fast was a bad thing (like we can help it!!), we didn't agree that we had to make the bed only for it to be messed again tonight, we didn't agree that it has to be THIS clean and we certainly didn't invent cleaning instructions for garments.
Most of all, I don't remember agreeing to have to make the first move!! I know women have to endure childbirth and I don't mind taking some of the standards but this is taking it too far! Do you know the mental torture and anguish we endure thinking of a good line and trying to get you women alone so that we can use that line??? Thinking of a good line is PURE torture. We don't need jail sentences for some criminal offences.
Judge, "Mr. Johnson, you are sentenced to coming up with a good line to get know that hot girl sitting in Starbucks."
Mr. Johnson, "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!".
We have to come up with a line that will
1)don't make us sound like a pervert or a cheezy loser
2)sound interesting so that she doesn't snigger at you and then tell her friends about you so that the whole female community knows to look out for the loser that is you
3)original. What else is original??? It's been 50,000 years since the first caveman used a pick up line ("UGG! UGG!")
I have had women come up to me complaining about the lame pick up lines they have encountered by means of implying that they didn't EXPECT a Chindian to come with something that cheezy and uninteresting. Which just adds more pressure on us....unnecessarily!
Even if I had to come up with a line, why is it that you girls all travel in herds?? I have to wait for you to leave the herd before I make my move so that even if you reject me, I wouldn't self combust. That's what happened when I first met my wife. I noticed her from a distance at a party and after many hours of figuring out what to say, I finally picked up the courage (meaning I had a lot of alcohol) to approach her. Problem was, she was sitting with a group of friends, some 30 of them. I approach the herd like a lion stalking a herd of gazelles (I wanted to say buffalo but that could be used for grounds of divorce) and came from the back and through the side to touch her arm and whispered, "Would you like to dance?"
This is where I am so convinced God is sadistic and has a sick sense of humour. Just like the gazelle, they saw the lion and was just waiting for it to make its move. The moment I finished my question, everyone in the herd stopped talking and looked at us. This is the moment where you can hear a cricket in the backgroud. If she said no, I would have given my left leg for a hole to open up and I fall in all the way to Antartica. Thankfully she said yes. I was so relieved I almost didn't notice her. It took me 30 minutes of dancing just to get my heart beating normally again.
So women, please understand that these standards are set by YOU! If we falter or stumble along, do cut us some slack since our biological make up does not support such standard upholding. Also, we Chindians are just the same. We just want food, love and an occasional silence. We will follow your standards if you can just stop complaining once in a while!
No comments:
Post a Comment