So you want to pro-create - Cravings and Hormones

In our continuing series, we look at the women's cravings. No one really understands this. Some blame it on hormones, some blame in on appetite. Me? I just think that women are put on this earth to get at us at every turn they can find. Seeing that they are going to look like a cargo truck for nine months and go through the most excruciating pain know to mankind, I let my darling wife ask for whatever she wants.

Also notice that I didn't go into the process of pro-creating. My thoughts are if you don't know how, there must be a reason and who am I to mess with God's will!

I digress!

Anyway, it was really cool that Melissa never had any morning sickness during both her pregnancies. It was really nice to not have your bride look at you at interval times and throw up! I don't think it does well to the self esteem! Worse still if she hurls on you! And guess what? It will be your fault. Guys get use to this. Rule No. 1. Everything bad that happens to your bride, is your fault. Don't ever, ever, never, ever fight it. That's like going against gravity. You will fall down....HARD!! Rule No. 2, refer to rule No. 1.

During her pregnancy with Mikey, she had this craving for soya bean drink and tau fu fa which is something made from bean curd (look it up man!). That was ok but it was normally when I get into bed ready to sleep the day's stress away that I hear, "Dear, I would like a beef steak."
"But it's midnight, where can I find steak?"
"I dunno, I am not the one carrying this heavy load on me for YOU! Maybe you like take it a while and I will figure the steak out!"
"Give me 30mins"

I never understand why they say that everything to do with pregnancy is for us husbands, like the baby has nothing to do with them. But remember rule No. 1? As for the cravings, my way out of this is to buy a burger from the burger stand. It's beef patty which basically means it a smaller steak. So I buy 3. Which is why I put on weight. If we had six kids, I would be the Goodyear Blimp.

When women put on weight, everybody admires them and comments about how much they glow. I never understood that. It's like pregnant women develop nuclear waste and suddenly they will glow in the dark like some mutated super hero. Notice thought that no one has nice things to say about the husbands.
"Oh did you see Mrs David, she is gorgeous with that glow about her but did you see her husband? What's up with that baby seal peeking out of the top his trousers?"

Are we not taking one for the team here? Don't we get some credit too?? I don't want to glow but something like,
"Did you see Alwyn there? His ponch has a nice arc thing going don't you think?"

So you get whatever your bride wants during her pregnancy and if you are late or if you forget to let us know where you are? Get ready for the attack of the crazed hormone lady! She will scream and blame the entire plague and war since biblical times on you. The only thing that's going to save your ass is DUM-DUM-DUM-DAA....Haargen Dazs!! Pls have some ready AT ALL TIMES!!!!

So new parents, that concludes our chapter on Hormones and Cravings. Fellas, remember Rules number 1 and 2 and our necessity to have at all times and you will make it out all right.


Point to Note, my wife accepted Sara Lee as a substitute for Haargen Dazs.