Saturday, November 21, 2009

The End is NEAR!!! - 2012!!!

Be warned, the apocalypse is nigh! Three years from now, untold disaster will strike. Human civilisation will come crashing down and the world as we know it will shatter under the weight of our vanities. Our cities will crumble, as our culture grinds itself to dust and mass hysteria consumes the last paltry scraps of social sustainability.

No, it's not the London Olympics or Oprah Winfrey going off the air. It's just the end of the world as we know it.

Haha! I thought that was a good opening line.

To begin with, it was a week of fear and uncertainty for this Chindian family. First of all we were all waiting for Michael's UPSR results which is a child's first major government exams. It's for those who are in Standard 6 or Primary 6. So naturally as a 21st century 12 year old, this exam anxiety doesn't mean much to them. It's just an exam and our parents will understand regardless of their results. After all, look at dear old dad accidentally pouring salt into his coffee instead of sugar. So dad has a major anxiety attack lasting all week. You see, I was brought up in an environment that would have had my dad arrested for child abuse today. If your results were horrific, you will be punished and possibly murdered and buried. If caught, the judge who is also a father, would acquit my dad. Heck, he may ordered me exhumed, resurrected and killed again.

Secondly, despite that, we thought we will go watch a movie to see what the end of the world is like in 3 years. A movie called 2012.

The movie pays tribute to the Mayan culture that actually calculated this destruction or renewal of the earth, centuries ago. So in 2012 the planets will once again align as they do every 26,000 years, give or take. Which is cue for Gaia (look it up, I ain't gonna explain everything!!!) to shake some serious booty!

What supposedly happens is, the solar explosions on the surface of the sun bombards earth with radioactive super neutrinos which boils the earth's core. With the core boiling and its lava shifting all over the place, it loses it's ability to hold on to the surface's tectonic plates. Hence earth's plates starts shifting, and not the 1/2 inch per year but like 1,500 miles in 12 hours.

So what was once the Pacific ocean, becomes mainland China. The tsunamis bury everything up to Tibet and makes the sea level a few hundred feet below Everest's summit. And then, large giant trees come out to fight Orcs and Nazgul's so that the white wizard will not be able to support Saruman. To defeat him, we will have to wait for the Starship Enterprise which will send GI Joes into the earth's core to stop Gaia from kicking out butt.

SLAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP!!!! WOW!! Thanks, I needed that.

So the tectonic plates moves and boundaries as we know it are gone while a few thousand people float towards Africa to start a new life since Hollywood loves irony. It is also a concept about human greed and what they will do to save themselves. I won't give away some of the premise but save to say, it's a movie heavy on special effects. It's just as interesting (and similar) to Day After Tomorrow.

It retrospect, it probably wasn't so smart to watch 2012 in a week where my nerves were jangling at the end of my finger tips. It made me more nervous when reading about earthquakes in Indonesia or floods or fires or whatever disaster that was cropping up in the world. So this week, I decided not to watch the news or read the papers. So if they do decide to award Hindraf and every Indian in Malaysia USD 1 Million, drop me a note in my postbox. Provided the neurtinos don't fry you first.

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