After much pestering and persistent begging, we finally got our kids a dog. You see, kids love dogs because dogs are loyal, bring unconditional love, not shy to show you their love and tell (or bark) as it is. But primarily, like all things that influence a kid, the main reason is TV.
You see, TV takes you to a magical world where all is possible. You put on glasses and immediately people won't recognize you from being the strongest man in the world. You get bitten by a radioactive spider, you don't die but you have super powers! It's a world where dogs are smart, loving, pulls you from under the falling tractor or quicksand. It's a world where dogs have this really cool and intelligent and funny expressions when you interact with it.
While I really love dogs, 90% of dogs are stupid! It's that simple. You can call a dog by its name 3000 times and it won't recognize you calling it. Everything in the world to a dog is about one magical thing and it's something they have in abundant. The world to a dog is all about PEE. The moment they are born, they immediately start engaging in a pee fest with the rest of the dogs. Everything is about peeing and peeing is ON everything. Trees, cars, your shoes and you inhaler. The PEE is their way of communicating with the other dogs. Every PEE signifies some world event to them.
My sis-in-law in Kuantan had some mix-breed stray dogs that she adopted and the pair had a litter of 4 pups. She was giving them away and I thought it was a great way (and cheap) way for the kids to learn about higher responsibility in taking care of a dog. So I chose the best looking mutt and took him home. We put 3 month old Boomer in a box at the back of the car and it was probably the poor dog's worst day in his short life.
The trip must have been nauseating for him as he threw up the bread into the box. The bread looked like mashed potatoes. Now that's an image for you!
So good ol' Boomer lives outside now and almost every evening we will take him for a walk and he immediately starts some kind of PEE fest of the universe. Sniff, sniff, PEE. Sniff, sniff, PEE. The same goes for every dog and the more amorous ones will sniff each other's butt.
Boomer is a lot more weird. He sniffs EVERYTHING! Including poop. He even licks his own poop!! I have been having a hard time toilet training the little mutt. He just PEES everywhere. I tie him on a leash on the porch where there are water hoses, flower pots, contraptions for drying our clothes, etc. and he manages to get himself entangled around the porch items!
He doesn't answer to his name. He doesn't know where he should be PEEing, he doesn't know he is not supposed to eat rocks and SHIT! He barks whenever I leave the house and it's not like a dogly bark like a German Shepherd or a Retriever but this little whiny, wimpy, wuss kinda squeal that makes you wanna walk over and drop kick the guy.
So to all those movie shows like Lassie, Rin Tin Tin (Gen Y going "What the heck are those?"), Bolt, Dr Dolittle and all those love stories where the dog is sympathetic, funny and comforting, TO HELL WITH YOU! You have given us dog owners VERY, VERY false hopes.
The next time I see a dog looking forlorn and sympathetic towards their owners and have wonderful sense of humour timing, I am putting an axe through the TV!
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