Clash of the Titans - more like Crash of the Tits

If you remember the same movie back in the 80s (or was it 70s?), we had this same movie that tells the myth of our hero Perseus, son of Zeus, saving the lovely Andromeda from the Kraken. All this because her stupid mother, Queen Cassieopea (however the hell you spell it!) said that Andromeda was more beautiful than the goddess Aphrodite which in Greco days was the Giselle Bunchen of Gods only more temperamental and with a hell lot more boyfriends. The Greek myth mentions pissing off some sea nymphs which is really very minor low level celestial stuff but.....whatever!

Bottomline, she pissed off someone who controls the Kraken which happens to be a VERY bad ass monster or pissed off someone who knows someone who controls the Kraken. Some seem to think it some giant squid that if grilled will feed an entire country with calamari for decades and kill everyone from cholesterol poisoning or guilt from obesity.

So yadda, yadda, hero flies in saves the day and marries the girl. That is the story in the movies. In mythology, Perseus was avenging the death of his father and mistreatment of his mother. He was asked by the king to bring back the Gorgon named Medusa's head. Anyway, he got some help from the other Gods and Goddesses that gave him gifts like an invisibility cap, shiny armour, adamantium sickle (of course you need admantium to cut of a Gorgon's head. Can't use a kitchen knife).

So Perseus sails off to see the Fates, 3 old and ugly women who share and eye and a tooth. Godness only knows what the hell they want with one tooth. He steals their eye to blackmail them into telling him. With the location (had to live without a GPS) he flew on the back of Pegasus, a stallion with wings. Another gifts from the gods.

Now let me tell you a bit about good ol Medusa. She is one of 3 sisters who were cursed because the pissed off some goddess or god or some celestial beings. She now has a lower body of a giant serpent, hair of vipers and she is said to have tusks like a wild boars. Her ultimate weapon, one look into her eyes and you turn to stone!

So the old movie has these monster that looked like paper mache cutouts or made from plasticine. While the effects in this year's efforts is a lot more real, the cheezy story and acting continues. Worst of all is the illusion of 3D. If like me, you paid more to watch in 3D, you will have to cleanse your aura of "bad movie decisions". Go to the shower and set it to freeze and soak yourself there until your blood screams in protest!

There was hardly any 3D parts and if I watched it without my 3D glasses, I could have enjoyed it as if it was 2D. Sadly, the movie was really bad, lack of story flow, didn't really follow to the myth and throw in some real bad acting from the "Avatar" hero. Guess he didn't have an Avatar to act for him in this movie.

If you can afford to, go ahead and satisfy your curiosity but if you have other more pressing matters like watching dew form, then it's ok to miss.

Day4 - Philip Island

Have you ever been to a place for holiday and they tell you the tourist spots and you feel you have to go see each and every place mentioned in the tourist pamphlet, even if you knew if was not fun or something you want to see? I don't know what it is. Pure morbid curiosity or the guilt of not getting your money's worth or the fact that it will be fun and people will be laughing at you for year? There are not many forces that powerful as this urge.

The visit to Philip Island was one such place though I have to admit that the trip there and spending lunch at the seaside town of San Remo and also visiting a chocolate factory was the highlight. Philip Island also had a spectacular view of the ocean and is the famous home of the Little Penguins. They are the smallest penguins in the animal kingdom and they come home every night to the nest on Philip Island and this tourist attraction is called the Penguin Parade.



You can buy tickets where you will sit on a grand stand right in front of the ocean waiting for these little guys to come out of the freezing ocean and we were told not to make any noise. There was a couple of teenagers sitting in front of us that kept shushing the kids and I. I of course as a responsible parent got together with my kids and kept irritating them by making giggly and farty noises.

The chocolate factory (not "the" chocolate factory as in Willy Wonka's but just "a" factory) was a visit well worth AUD12. We had free chocolate to clog up the arteries of 10 rhinoceroses and we got to design our own chocolate. There was this contraption that collected chocolate liquid and then let is flow like a chocolate curtain in it's brown glory. I had dreams that I was under the flow with my mouth open and my entire internal systems shutting down voluntarily. What a way to go. There was a train model with the town done entirely in chocolate and a full choclate stature of David by Michaelangelo as well as machineries and other chocolate ingredients to show you how it's done.









There was also a koala's sanctuary but I have seen enough koala's from our last trip and the wild koalas on the Grampiens to care. Australia would not be complete without a visit to the farm to see how sheep dogs hustle sheeps, how "cowboys" "round up" sheep and calves and of course how to make billy tea. The put some tea leaves in a rusty can, add boiling water and ask you to swing the can 360 degrees with your arms straight. I doubt that's how it's done in the outbacks and this is just to see how stupid us tourist are (answer: pretty darn).







The penguins' show ended pretty late and in the end the parade was quite worth it. Just don't get the skybox or grandstand or whatever additional tickets they ask you to get. In the end, we are all mixed around anyway regardless of ticket price. Also we didn't take any photos of the penguins as we were told it would hurt their eyes or even scare them. Thousands of giant watching you go home, no problem. Flash! Oh my gawd!! Run for lives! We are so scared!!!!




So ends Day4 and Day5 is about shopping in the city....THANK GOD!

Back to Melbourne

After travelling for 3 days, we are back in Melbourne where we will spend the rest of our holidays. No more packing and no more "nomading". It was a welcome sight of the city and our apartment was really cozy and comfortable. We stayed at Darling Towers at South Yarra which we were told was a very posh affluent community. We just wanted to rest. Take a look.

More pics from Day 3

Some more on the scenery and waterfall.

Oz- Day 3

We took a break of giving you a commentary of our last holiday. We now move into Day 3. We left you when we just got into Grampiens National Park. This is a great place with really breathtaking rock formations, plateau and just extraordinary scenery.

It's all about the scenery and the wild kangaroos. We visited a Aboriginal Center which showed us how the lived and the history of their culture. Basically they were there first and the white man (which were British prisoners) arrived here to be serve their prison sentence and took the Aborigines' land away. HAHAHAHA! Those Caucasians, you gotta love them. Well I am not going to comment on what happen centuries ago which did not concern today's generation.

Below are some pictures of the chalet we stayed as well as the surrounding view.




The Aboriginal Center.


Some of the sceneries that we took from the various lookouts. There was a waterfall that needed us to climb down a very steep staircase. It was ok since we have seen better here at home but during the climb up, Melissa has shortness of breath and was fainting. So we had to sit down while she caught her breath and the stars stopped dancing in front of her eyes. Gave me a bit of a scare. There were some bragging points since she always made fun of my weight but I was the fitter one. But thank God she didn't fall or worse.

How to Train your Dragon???

This is one of those questions that you will never ask in real life. Another one is "Should I trim my nose hair with a pair of pliers?". (Hint: NEVER). For one thing, dragons don't exist and for another, no matter how heart warming this show may be, you should not be going near dragons like how you shouldn't be going near toxic waste or a sexual predator or the president of MCA. Not necessarily in that order.

This really was excellent show with very witty dialog. The script was well written and the story flow was of good quality. It starts out as a very cliche story of a Viking boy (named Hiccup) that doesn't belong to the stereotyped Viking persona. He is weak, scrawny, no inclination to fighting and to make things worse, he is the chief's son. So he is an embarrassment to his dad. To complete the cliche he is trying very hard to impress the village and his father AND he is in love with his generation hottest chick.


Unfortunately for him, a hot Viking chick doesn't shop, do her nails or have a facial. She can kick any boy her age group and she is fighting to be an elite dragon slayer. You see, the problem with Hiccup's village is that it keeps getting raided by dragons. So as the story title goes, good ol' Hiccup adds to his long list of Viking imperfections by finding a lost dragon, befriends it and actually trains it.

That's when things starts to get funny and exciting and it starts going a little off the norm. The story line still follows a very cliched route but with little twists here and there. Also as mentioned, the script is really funny. Only thing was, I found Hiccup voice to be too whiny and wheezy. I really don't see that attracting the hottest chick in your village.



While it's really for kids, I highly recommend it for adults with a good sense of fun, humour and wanting-to-get-out-of-the-damn-house as your kids are just driving you up the wall and with your dog just peeing everywhere. So go check it out and hopefully you get some tips in training your pet or your spouse.