If you remember the same movie back in the 80s (or was it 70s?), we had this same movie that tells the myth of our hero Perseus, son of Zeus, saving the lovely Andromeda from the Kraken. All this because her stupid mother, Queen Cassieopea (however the hell you spell it!) said that Andromeda was more beautiful than the goddess Aphrodite which in Greco days was the Giselle Bunchen of Gods only more temperamental and with a hell lot more boyfriends. The Greek myth mentions pissing off some sea nymphs which is really very minor low level celestial stuff but.....whatever!
Bottomline, she pissed off someone who controls the Kraken which happens to be a VERY bad ass monster or pissed off someone who knows someone who controls the Kraken. Some seem to think it some giant squid that if grilled will feed an entire country with calamari for decades and kill everyone from cholesterol poisoning or guilt from obesity.
So yadda, yadda, hero flies in saves the day and marries the girl. That is the story in the movies. In mythology, Perseus was avenging the death of his father and mistreatment of his mother. He was asked by the king to bring back the Gorgon named Medusa's head. Anyway, he got some help from the other Gods and Goddesses that gave him gifts like an invisibility cap, shiny armour, adamantium sickle (of course you need admantium to cut of a Gorgon's head. Can't use a kitchen knife).
So Perseus sails off to see the Fates, 3 old and ugly women who share and eye and a tooth. Godness only knows what the hell they want with one tooth. He steals their eye to blackmail them into telling him. With the location (had to live without a GPS) he flew on the back of Pegasus, a stallion with wings. Another gifts from the gods.
Now let me tell you a bit about good ol Medusa. She is one of 3 sisters who were cursed because the pissed off some goddess or god or some celestial beings. She now has a lower body of a giant serpent, hair of vipers and she is said to have tusks like a wild boars. Her ultimate weapon, one look into her eyes and you turn to stone!
So the old movie has these monster that looked like paper mache cutouts or made from plasticine. While the effects in this year's efforts is a lot more real, the cheezy story and acting continues. Worst of all is the illusion of 3D. If like me, you paid more to watch in 3D, you will have to cleanse your aura of "bad movie decisions". Go to the shower and set it to freeze and soak yourself there until your blood screams in protest!
There was hardly any 3D parts and if I watched it without my 3D glasses, I could have enjoyed it as if it was 2D. Sadly, the movie was really bad, lack of story flow, didn't really follow to the myth and throw in some real bad acting from the "Avatar" hero. Guess he didn't have an Avatar to act for him in this movie.
If you can afford to, go ahead and satisfy your curiosity but if you have other more pressing matters like watching dew form, then it's ok to miss.
No comments:
Post a Comment