Goodbye Shrek

We have had 3 chapters (and now 4) of that lovable jolly reformed green ogre. When we first saw him on the big screen, he was funny, unexpected and had a fantastically talented supporting cast. Donkey playing the irritating talking animal, Fiona the princess that sings so "well" that birds explode. Puss in boots with those legendary kitty cat eyes. You cannot but help fall in love with them. Even Lord Farquat (if that's how you spell it) and his rounding up of all the fairy tale and children rhymes. I think personally, I just liked the whole fairy tale and nursery rhymes coming to life.


Part 2 with that deliciously evil and vain Prince Charming added good fun to the cast. I thought the overdid Part 3 with the whole Justin Timberlake Arthur thingy. So when they did the final chapter, I was afraid it was going to be a bomb. However, I didn't wait for any review before watching it last week. That's because......it's Shrek! You just have to watch the last chapter. If you were a big fan and someone told you it's was lousy, would you still watch it? Sure you would, if only to see Puss' big round kitty eyes again!



So the story goes that like any ex-terrifying ogre, you feel a bit overwhelmed that you now have triplets and your life has take a nasty turn into the diaper zone. We all had those days and we yearn for the days when we were single and heating up the party scene. For me, I yearn it for a minute then realize that I was no Brad Pitt and come straight back to my wife and kids.

In the heat of the moment, with all the unhappiness boiling up, Shrek wishes that he was an ogre again like when he didn't meet Fiona. Step in Rumperstilskin (again who thought up these names...geez!). He has a bone to pick with Shrek and cuts him a deal. Shrek will give up one day of his past for one whole day where he didn't save Fiona and he is an ogre of old. If you know your nursery rhymes, this Rumper guy is a bad guy. He makes bad deals with all kinds of fine print hidden away. Hmmm.....sounds like a modern day lawyer.

So the adventure starts then and everything Shrek holds dear or knows, is upside down. Our hero once again needs to gather his wits (who thought of this expression anyway? Where have our wits fallen to so that we need to "gather" them???) to ensure that his life gets back to normal.

The movie has its moments. Unfortunately nothing surprises us anymore since the old formula is re-used (to good effect though). All said and done, I was thoroughly entertained and really enjoyed seeing Donkey, Shrek and Puss reacquaint themselves. I highly recommend this movie with a side order of popcorn and hotdog. If you can, go for the 3D version.

Enjoy thyself with Shrek, his family and friends, in a kingdom Far, Far Away. Excuse me, I have to take a mud bath (again you gotta watch the movie to understand).

Day 8 - Kids and Parents in the City

After all the hustling and bustling going around the the areas of Melbourne, the last day we thought we would hang out. Just chillin' and enjoyin' the city while we lose our "G's" in our "ing's". So we headed on to the Yarra River which runs through the city. It was important to finally see the Yarra River as it was a huge source of navigation for us. As long as we ended up near or around the Yarra River, we would get to our apartments, hit the freeway or get out of the tollway.





So for the day, we headed to Victoria Market to complete our souvenir shopping. I bought some football jerseys from a Malaysian boy studying in Melbourne, lives in Taman Tun and studies in Damansara Jaya Secondary. Seeing that we were practically neighbours, despite the fact that I have never met him in my life and that he currently lives thousands of miles away, he gave us his 50% staff discount. Not bad! He gave us some key chains and window dangling things for free. So power to him. If you are ever at the market, look him up. And after all that, we never got his name! That's how neighbourly we are. We are like that when we are overseas but tend to hate each other when we are at home.

After completing our shopping (are you kidding? We weren't done but just so our wives didn't spend the next 2 days' food money and money for the cab ride to airport, we had to drag them away for fear of having hungry teenagers gnaw at our arm!), we went looking for lunch and as with the story of our trip, everything was closed by 3pm. WE were hungry, desperate and we had to have McDonald's. Our wives hate fast food. I think women generally hate fast food but Chinese educated ones hate it even more. That's the price you pay for shopping over time.






We then took a tram around Melbourne. This tram is free and it took you around the perimeter of Melbourne past the museum, which only I would have wanted to go. So naturally we didn't go. After the tram, we contemplated taking a river cruise. I know we have one of the worst river maintenance (which is to say, we don't have any) in the world and should not comment on others. But I just want to say this. Our main river, the Klang River is know to contribute significantly to biological warfare and has that teh susu (milk tea) colour going. The Yarra River has this diluted chocolate drink filled with excrement colour going. That's all I am going to say.





But the architecture of the bridge and the mall and the sunset view was simply gorgeous. It was our last night for the trip and with very heavy hearts we left the city, went back to our apartments, packed and drove to the airport.





I didn't take many pictures then since I felt tired, thoroughly enjoyed the trip and looking forward to going back, all in one. Hanging out with the family is always top priority and with your cousins and nephews, just makes the interest more diverse and intriguing. That's a polite way of saying that having 6 kids whine, moan and get all antsy, just puts you on the border between murder and temporary insanity.

Next year, the adults will leave the kids.

Watching the game - guy style

Last weekend, I attended a birthday party of one of my oldest and dearest friend. At the party, I met my old school mates whom I have not met for a while and whom I have been friends with for 27 years. So we sat around catching up on what was happening in everybody's life. Some have twins, our kids go to the same school, what do we do when our kids are such, mother-in-law issues, parent issues, car issue, work issues. Then we branch off where our genders are concerned.

Our wives started talking about the house, price of groceries, kids, school, teachers, shopping, shoes, clothes, other people in the party, "where the hell did she get that dress?", "omigawd, she just can't stop eating", "he is so ugly, he has got to be rich", etc.

We guys, after all the small talk, just moved on to sports and stuck there. That's what guys do. We were discussing some major medical development of one of us and the topic moved to the FiFA Football World Cup. That's right! It's football not soccer! We were discussing when we should get together to have a drink and watch some of the games together. It is important that we watch the game as a group because we guys have fantastic peripheral eye sight when it comes to sports.

We can't see dirt unless it is the size of a Mini Minor or carting your furniture away. We can't find our kid's clothes even when our lives depended on it. But we can see how a referee could make such a criminal mistake and not award a goal or call on offside when the player clearly isn't or when the ball SOOO clearly has crossed the goal line. We can see this plays even if we are sitting at the top of the stadium. Sometimes we can see these plays while we are at the bathroom.

So just what is so appealing about guys and sports? Needless to say there are many men who are not into sports. Notice I said "men" not "guys". These "men" are way too serious and gay to enjoy sports. You may think I am stereotyping but you know I am right. I have gay friends too and while they tried to watch the game, they, and this is their confession, either end up looking at the athletes' butt or starting to comment about their fashion in their heads. I guess it's like us watching women wrestling....which I don't!!

It is essential to us guys that we watch sports. I guess our DNA on us competing, getting rough and being absolutely stupid on global TV on HD, has some appeal. Consider a very prominent and successful French legend football player called Zinedine Zidane. A captain of his country and he is playing in the World Cup finals. Something like the Oscars for actors or the Masters in Golf or the World Series for baseball. In such a pinnacle moment of his career, what do you think he did?

He headbutt an opposing player. Got himself sent off the game and left his team with less one man and ultimately losing the game. That's guy instincts....looking stupid on global TV.

I very into football and basketball. I do follow tennis very closely and badminton. Now with Nicol David, Malaysia's own as the No 1 squash player, I follow that too. Some games, I just don't bloody get. Most American games. Take baseball and American Football. In American Football, men deliberately wear protection so that they go on field and BANG into each other....DELIBERATELY!!! What is that about? It's like a scene out of a sumo wrestling contest (don't get me started on that!!!) or a battle scene from the 10,000 BC.

I get baseball even less. You never know when it's going to end as there isn't any time limit. The call time out..talk it over....wait for the pitch and everyone must stay until someone wins. The you have the coach on the sidelines touching every part of his body in a particular sequence to denote a secret coded message. Thank goodness Al-Qaeda has not caught wind of such sophisticated methods.

"Oh wait a minute, he touched his cap, nose and crotch. That means he wants me to steal 3rd base or that it's a sign language for my caps want to smell my crotch or my crotch smells because my cap told it so."

If you want to read the scores and understand all the abbreviations, you need to take a short MBA course which includes a whole semester of chewing tobacco (tobacco not included). Then there is baseball chatter" Hey batter, batter, batter, hey no hitter, batter, batter hey!" I so believe that you have to be under fantastic influence of alcohol or drugs.

But looking at my sports, I guess every sport has it's own eccentricity. Maybe that's why women think we are idiots and can you blame them? How the hell did my gender ever get to rule the country? Well in Malaysia's case, it's actually ruled by the wife of our Prime Minister so looks like Malaysia is in balance with the universe.

Well, that was just a Chindian thought about our passion which is sports. I have to go pee so that I can watch the game with my peripherals. "HOWZAT!!!" " NOT OUT".

Cricket is another sport that I don't get. Whack the ball, run between the sticks. Hit your leg, "YOOOUUUUU'REEE OUTTTTT!". "Howzat!"

Day 7- We go back to nature.....

We went to a Garden Maze and what possessed us to do that? I put it down to too much french fries that looks more like giant salamander of complex carbs from cholesterol hell!!!! So we left the comfort of our air-conditioned apartments to venture into the searing sun looking at flowers and being part of a buffet for Australian flies. Notice I didn't say normal flies but this is Australia. Things are weird below the equator. They can't decide if they are a country, a continent or an island. So they took all three. Australian flies are capable of lifting small sewage rats.




It was a time for my super paranoid and protective wife to whip out the sun block and proceeded to cover each of us with one tube each, so that we looked like confused sun-burnt mimes or really comatose clowns. All said and done, the maze was actually quite (warning lame joke ahead) a-maze-ing.





They had a snake and ladder garden (which Mandy won!), some IQ stuff that of course we breezed through and lots of different mazes. It was a very unique experience. Thankfully the sun didn't turn out that hot for the day.

















We visited a strawberry farm and were supposed to pay money to pick strawberries. It was a huge farm and we had to wear plastic bags over our shoes else it gets soiled. We also had to battle with a hole bunch of other Asians who obviously have a sickness to do whatever the tour guide tells them or just haven't gotten dirty on strawberries before. We have and we took one look at the crazed crowd and came to a realization that....we have strawberries back home! The place was overpriced so we drove along the coast of Mornington Peninsula, looking for lunch. Somewhere along the coast there was a lighthouse which we hoped to go in. It was however, closed. But that will not deter a good Asian tourist. Picture time!!!





So we decided to look for lunch. We traveled along the Mornington Peninsula looking for a good restaurant for lunch. Here is where I miss home terribly. Everything in outskirts Australia closes after lunch and when you find one that is open, the food is bland. Still like all good tourist, we took pics of our fish and chips. There wasn't anything else available and the mothers didn't want to eat fast food. I guess fish and chips were gourmet food.




So ends our day. Before we headed back to the apartment, we stopped by Harbour Town which was near Flinders Park (where the famous Rod Laver tennis stadium is....they play the Australian Open here). It was a factory outlet and we bought some stuff and saw Australian bigotry in action. It was getting late and when we walked into a toy store, it was 15mins to closing. An Australian family walked in and everybody smiled but when an Indian couple walked in, there were heavy sighs, no one wanted to serve them and the moment they walked out, they locked the door. Well I guess they have it in every country. We would have called it government service.

So here are some of the most a-maze-ing mazes that is designed to thrill and a-maze you. Get ready to be a-maze-d!