Just to give you some insights into the wondrous mechanism called the Chindian brain, I thought we start with what we normally hate. Why start with hate? Well....it's more fun. Isn't it? Did you really wanna know what we liked? If you do....next posting. Also since it's my blog, I will write what I want.
1. Utensil discrimination
Just because I look Malay, every time I am in a Chinese restaurant and order noodles, I will be given a fork. Hey man!! I know how to use the damn chopsticks! It's not exclusive to Chinese you know!! I know a lot of non-Chinese folks who know how to use the chopstick.
2. Correct utensils
I am very particular of food, table manners and using the right utensils. I get a little miffed when people use fork to eat noodles or fork and spoon for banana leaf rice or just fork to eat rice like how the mat sallehs eat. If you are not a foreigner, you gotta use the right utensils. Use your hands for banana leaf and chopsticks for noodles. Rice is eaten with a spoon, deal with it!
3. Racism
It's very disheartening to see racism in this day and age in a multi cultural country. I remember in the 70s and 80s, we didn't have that much of a problem and I had many Malay friends. Because of the rise in ultra-Islam and the Govt wanting to win votes in the Malay heartland, this has gone unchecked. We have leaders calling other races immigrants, when they themselves are such. We have school principals asking Chinese students to go back to China if they want to eat during fasting month. In school!! From teachers!! What hope is there for our future generations?
This is not isolated to Malays only. How many times have we Chinese and Indians dissed each other? A Chinese parent would rather run his tongue on the sewage than allow his daughter to marry an Indian or Malay man. Indian parents will be playing a Bollywood movie tragedy scene should their kids decide to marry out of race or even out of dialect. What a bunch of hypocrites and ignorant rat droppings. Me? I am ok for my kids to marry any race....as long it's with the opposite gender.
4. Mistaking me for Malay and then getting upset when I am not
I am not sure if you noticed but Malay folks are a very warm and hospitable bunch of people, more so with their own race. Which is more than I can say for other races, except the Punjabis. They always mistake me for a Malay and when they wish me peace in Arabic and I don't answer in Arabic, they get upset. Their warm smile disappears instantly!! More so during the fasting month of Ramadan. I get dirty looks during lunch and more than my fair share, I was refused service. Now during Ramadan, I eat pork. Come and get me sucker!!
5. Can't decide at a fast food restaurant
Tell me if this has happened to you. People who spend 2mins in a queue in a fast food restaurant, get to the counter and only then start deciding what they want!! And this is McDonald's or KFC. How deep in the jungle do you have to stay to not know what to order in McD's or KFC? The menu hasn't changed in 20 years for goodness sake. Then they start having conversations with their kids/friends/spouse/similar-cretin-friends. Totally oblivious of the queue. We need to have a law that allows other customers to carry tranquilizers and shoot a dart or two at these people.
6. Traffic light honkers
These are the folks who think that moving a few inches or saving a few milliseconds at the traffic light is going to give them eternal youth! The moment the light turns green, these honkers come out and start their stupid honking! Sorry but I need a few micro seconds for my hand to change gears and my feet to hit the accelerator.
These are the same cretins, when a car in the queue moves 6 inches, you need to move to. Failure to do so will result in honking and tailgating in a stationary position.
7. Motor bikers
Let me go on record to say I know a lot of bikers who are responsible and careful riders. The bikers I hate are those idiots who cut in and out of traffic, cut on the left side of the car, ride recklessly thinking they are invincible. I have no problems these idiots crashing into the back of truck and their brains spread all over the road like strawberry jam on toast. They only problem is that they create inconvenience to others. They may get innocent people hurt or at least the inconvenience of going to the police station and all those legal procedures. What we gotta do is to improve public transport, increase the number of buses and ban bikes below 500cc. If you want to travel, save to buy a car or take the bus.
8. Credit card/insurance sales people/telemarketers
These are the people who jump at everyone they see trying to get them to get a credit card that is free for life. You see them at the malls, bus-stations, retail outlets, etc. Ironically you don't see them at the bank. Nobody at the bank is selling you anything. That is the safest place to hide from them. It's like if you are a fugitive, the safest to hide from the police is at the police station.
These insurance people are the same. Calling you every weekend so that you can't use the reason of being in a meeting. But calling during my family time is going to just put me in a mood to spend money and time with a perfect stranger on the phone. I think a law should be passed where these people are subjected to telemarketing for 8 hours a day for 3 months and then have others follow them around for another 3 months and jumping out at them to get them to buys something.
9. Parsley
What the heck is the function of parsley on my meals??? Why do I want parsley on my steak, burger, noodles, fries, lasagna, spaghetti, etc. I once asked a chef and he said it's for fragrance and decoration! I told him, the next time you want to make my food smell nice and decorate it, use a sausage or a Fillet Mignon. Better still if you can, find some roast pork knuckle as decoration and I even love the smell!! Let's try that!
10. All that new age dieting
Only in a rich country do we hear people saying things like "Only eat green and vegetables. Red meat will clog your arteries and kill you. Fishes have mercury and just about every poultry is injected with growth hormones". What are we supposed to do for carbo and protein? Take supplements! That's the answer! Red meat won't kill you!! Green meat will. If you have the good fortune to be blessed to have the opportunity to eat steak, bite the hell out of that bitch!!!
Only in rich countries do you hear people being lactose intolerant. They have to take soy cause they are lactose intolerant. You think kids in Rwanda are lactose intolerant??!?!?! These kids eat tree barks and dirt! Life in dieting is about moderation. Don't stuff your face with meat EVERY meal! Diversify and add variety to your diet. And for those who like dieting, don't try to convert people to it! It's not a religion. If a person is not interested the first time, move on!
This is the first list of my dislikes. Next round, LIKES! If you have any dislikes of your own, drop me a note.
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