The dreaded has come. My son turned 18 last March and he has passed his SPM or "Ordinary Wizarding Levels" or his high school, depending where are you reading this. For a while he worked in GSC, the popular cinema chain which is probably one of the most popular chains and also the worst in terms of employee benefits. I wanted Mike to work so that he could experience working life in a controlled environment. Pretty much what us 80s kids went through. I worked in the McDonald's. I loved it and I am loving it still! They should hire me as their marketing person.
Anyway he lasted a month and decided that the long bloody hours and ridiculous pay were just...well....ridiculous. Anyway it was for the experience and I think he did enjoy himself. Then it was time to look at college. He did ok in his SPM though he was sad as he knew he could've done better. Could've, would've...well suck it up!!! And sucked it up he did. So we went through a VERY exhausting search for programs, courses and colleges he could attend. We wanted a program that allowed twinning, that had a campus in country and of course conducive for studying.
I personally wanted a college that had less partying opportunity but it was his choice in the end. Finally on the last day of registering, we decided on University of Nottingham in Semenyih. Semenyih to us city folks is a hole! It had one main street and lots of mud infested patches. It took us an hour to get there because of the trunk roads and there was nothing to do there. The most stand out brand was 7-Eleven and KFC. But it was also friendly and the Uni's backdrop was a beautiful hill side.
It was my dream college. Thank God he chose my dream college. I may have whispered it into him...shhh....
Nottingham is one of the better schools in the UK and also globally and Semenyih will only be picked by students who valued a place of education. The entry requirements were higher and the environment will discourage party kids to attend. So it was perfect place for me to leave my son. There was one major drawback however. It meant, he had to stay in-campus for the week and only come back during the weekends, assuming he didn't have any assignments or projects. I thought I would be cool and that to see him be independent would have been a proud moment. It was.
So the day came, when we packed his stuff and headed off to college. We checked out his room, cleaned it together, fixed his pillow, cupboards, toilets, etc. Walked around the college halls and campus. Checking out where the places to eat were, the ATMs, convenience shop, sports complex, etc. It was a good family moment.
Finally, it was time to say goodbye to my son.
All was going well. The pride of seeing my son grow up, experiencing the next phase of his life and feeling real excited for him. Then he hugged me goodbye told me he'll be ok. As I watched him walk away, my tear ducts decided it was the best time to empty itself at that moment!! I was tearing so much I almost couldn't see the road. I just kept thinking of that moment because as he took each step away, he was stepping into adulthood. I was there to see it, experience it. The pride of a father and the love of a son was just amazing. I am so happy to have experienced it. Though I did hope it didn't have to mean me crying like a little girl.
He leaves my home and when he comes back, he will be a man and he will be a guest in my house. Because as he studies and goes into his career, he will strike out on his own. His own house, own job and hopefully his own family. I hope I have given him enough principles, ethics and building blocks to build a man of integrity, of compassion, of love, of confidence and of someone that will change the lives of those around him for the better. I hope he becomes a great person.
For while he will always be my son, he is no longer my little boy. God's speed Michael Sean David.
Monday, May 11, 2015
Is the world you know, real?
I have experienced the lowest point in my life about 6 months ago and it's a new experience for me. You see, I have never felt unpopular, insecure or really sad at what others thought of me. In fact I welcome feedback and look towards improving if the criticisms or feedback were constructive or if it doesn't affect my conscience. So I am always very positive, sure of myself, confidence, cheerful and upbeat. All that changed 6 months ago when I had to leave my company due to me defending my principles and defending someone but was not defended in return because of their own interests. Also there were a couple of diseased rhinoceros waste that affected these changes. But enough of Satan's minions.
Being someone that played by the book and someone who lived by my ethics, I really thought getting a job was going to be easy. I was relatively well known and popular but nothing could be further from the truth. I went to one interview after another only to be shot down because I was too senior or too expensive. The job market was terrible! Little by little my confidence was eroded and was battered. While money wasn't the major issue, it was definitely a major factor. I had a son going off to college soon and of course the bills to be paid. I couldn't imagine how a breadwinner being the top of his game all his career is now facing the ignominy of not being to pay my bills, selling assets or resort to borrowing money. It was something that I worked very hard not to come to.
So instead of wallowing in self pity, I took stock of what had happened and what I needed to do. First thing was to climb off my high horse and get more humble. Years of my success had made me to some extend arrogant. It made me ignorant of the situation around me and made me focus too little on the human factor. So what if I have to sell some stuff? Is that so important?
Next I took stock of my friends. There were those who were there constantly, looking for jobs for me, helping me with odd jobs and just being there encouraging me and keeping me sane. They told me that as long as I needed, meals will be on them. I love these guys. There were those who kept quiet but waiting to see what happens next. They kept a distance in case I succeeded. Then there were those who disappeared and those who kicked me when I was down. What I did was to look at those who were there for me and take stock of myself as to what I did to deserve the kicking I got. Forgive your enemies but remember their names. Haha but I realized that there are areas I gotta change.
Then finally the most important 2 areas. My family and prayer. My family never wavered. Not for one bit. Even my spoiled kids. Yea I spoil them, sue me. They offered to give up luxuries and both of them even offered to go to a lower cost college or the dreaded Form 6! My wife was a constant rock and not once did she nag or got upset. She carried on as usual and worked harder is keeping our finances manageable. My mom was a surprise. I never had to ask anything from her before but like a mother, she knew when her baby needed her. She stepped up too and she was awesome. My cousin KLY and Caryn were just amazing. They didn't need to but they did and so did one of my sis-in-law and my brother. The little things and gestures they did kept us going and upbeat. I see them in a very new light.
Then prayers. Yea shamefully, I got more prayerful when the chips were down. But I got more prayerful. They say you are closest to God when you are at your worse. I now vow to always be close especially during my high times. God didn't let me down. I now think I know why I was given this test. It was tough and it was unbearable at times but I found myself, my family, my true friends and my God. I also realized a lot about myself and I know what I need to do more. So whenever the chips are down, always realize that there are those much worse than us and as long as you stay true to your principles and your spirituality, He won't let you down.
I hope I will be blessed to be there for you when your chips are down as how others were for me. I also hope that my sharing gives you the strength and sanity when the life tries to keep you down. God bless.
Being someone that played by the book and someone who lived by my ethics, I really thought getting a job was going to be easy. I was relatively well known and popular but nothing could be further from the truth. I went to one interview after another only to be shot down because I was too senior or too expensive. The job market was terrible! Little by little my confidence was eroded and was battered. While money wasn't the major issue, it was definitely a major factor. I had a son going off to college soon and of course the bills to be paid. I couldn't imagine how a breadwinner being the top of his game all his career is now facing the ignominy of not being to pay my bills, selling assets or resort to borrowing money. It was something that I worked very hard not to come to.
So instead of wallowing in self pity, I took stock of what had happened and what I needed to do. First thing was to climb off my high horse and get more humble. Years of my success had made me to some extend arrogant. It made me ignorant of the situation around me and made me focus too little on the human factor. So what if I have to sell some stuff? Is that so important?
Next I took stock of my friends. There were those who were there constantly, looking for jobs for me, helping me with odd jobs and just being there encouraging me and keeping me sane. They told me that as long as I needed, meals will be on them. I love these guys. There were those who kept quiet but waiting to see what happens next. They kept a distance in case I succeeded. Then there were those who disappeared and those who kicked me when I was down. What I did was to look at those who were there for me and take stock of myself as to what I did to deserve the kicking I got. Forgive your enemies but remember their names. Haha but I realized that there are areas I gotta change.
Then finally the most important 2 areas. My family and prayer. My family never wavered. Not for one bit. Even my spoiled kids. Yea I spoil them, sue me. They offered to give up luxuries and both of them even offered to go to a lower cost college or the dreaded Form 6! My wife was a constant rock and not once did she nag or got upset. She carried on as usual and worked harder is keeping our finances manageable. My mom was a surprise. I never had to ask anything from her before but like a mother, she knew when her baby needed her. She stepped up too and she was awesome. My cousin KLY and Caryn were just amazing. They didn't need to but they did and so did one of my sis-in-law and my brother. The little things and gestures they did kept us going and upbeat. I see them in a very new light.
Then prayers. Yea shamefully, I got more prayerful when the chips were down. But I got more prayerful. They say you are closest to God when you are at your worse. I now vow to always be close especially during my high times. God didn't let me down. I now think I know why I was given this test. It was tough and it was unbearable at times but I found myself, my family, my true friends and my God. I also realized a lot about myself and I know what I need to do more. So whenever the chips are down, always realize that there are those much worse than us and as long as you stay true to your principles and your spirituality, He won't let you down.
I hope I will be blessed to be there for you when your chips are down as how others were for me. I also hope that my sharing gives you the strength and sanity when the life tries to keep you down. God bless.
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