Shit just got real!!!

I wrote some time ago about my son taking driving lessons. Stalling the car and can't get it to center after turning. Well, shit just got real!!! He got his driver's license....despite still stalling and getting the car to center after turning! Albeit a lot less now. The only consolation is that he will be driving an auto car and not the manual one that he was trained on and took his tests on. So hopefully with modern technology, he won't stall and his car will center automatically.

So my tax dollars are funding a governing body called the JPJ (Dept of Road Transport) that allows my 5 year old to commandeer a 1-ton steel, killing machine while his mind is still all swirling around with hormonal fluids called "Wise-Ass". Ok, he's not 5, he's 18 but to me, the thought of him behind a wheel of a car in a world full of raving lunatics, I cannot help thinking that he's 5. I remember how he was when he was 5, he had the manual dexterity of a watermelon and even then when he was behind his Fisher-Price tricycle, he was always knocking into things because he didn't know or care where the brakes were (the brakes were his legs)!

I haven't experienced his driving yet out of fear. Not fear for my life but fear for his. I don't really know how I will react just yet. I may be the real cool dad that is ok with how his son drives even though he has a pedestrian stuck on the windshield. Giving timely and appropriate advice or...RAVING like a LUNATIC, kicking the imaginary brakes until there's a hole in the carpet, grabbing the wheel or stepping out of the window to kick other cars or bike!!!! I don't know which I'll be and I'm too afraid to find out.

Anyway, my brother has sat in his car and he has brought his instructor and the tester back safely. I guess he's not too bad. So while I need to get comfy (which is probably never) with the thought of my hormonal raging, bad decision making son behind a steel, man-killing contraption , I now need to think about what car to get him. That's right, 80s kids. You didn't get your own car but you bloody have to get one for your kids. The world has turned cruelly for us. I posted this conundrum on FB and got some pretty interesting ideas. There were suggestions to get a Jeep or Land Rover. I was impartial towards getting the old Volvo 244, which is the boxy tank of a car greatly favoured by doctors or lawyers. You know people who carried those square, big-ass briefcases in the 70s that are big enough to carry a small nuclear device or the engine of a drone.

At this point, since I have not experienced his driving, I am not that focused on that. My thoughts are more on the other drivers on the road. Malaysians turn into a different species when they are on the road. Any other times, they can be sweet, nurturing, lovely, God fearing human beings but put behind the wheels of any vehicle, the fangs come out and suddenly it's WereWolf in London meets Fast n Furious meets GTA V! You have a lot of assholes out there! A LOT!!!! I know!! I used to be one of them. I said used to be!!

On top of that, there are scam artists pretending to be authority figures like police, bank officers, etc that are looking to jack your car or worst, robbing and kidnapping. My son is an extremely anorexic boy....ahem....man. I can make him move just by sneezing. While he's a Taekwando black belt, he's one of the laziest one I have seen. "Aiyah fight for what....take la whatever you want. Just leave me my phone."

Should I have leave a GPS tracker on his car with a 24-hour drone watch? Or maybe a bodyguard to be with him for a while. Or maybe get a driver. I know these things will him make as popular as a fart inducing warthog in school but it will keep him safe right? Right??

Sigh.....if I'm like this with my son, I dread the day comes when it's my girl's turn. So if you see a drone flying above any car with cameras on all sides with the driver being a tall, lanky Taekwando master with the body fat of a stick insect, please take extra special care of him and be patient with him. He's my dear son.