I have this theory that we as parents go thru 3 phases when we have our kids. During the formative years, we are in de refugee phase. Thats because we are carrying our babies' stuff around with us wherever we go. You know wat I mean, bags and bags of bottles, tupperwares for milk powder, medication, blankets, diapers, changes of clothes and sometimes cough medicine for the baby and bourbon for you.
I remember at one time, when my son just touched 1, we went to a 5-star resort and I walked into the lobby with a springnette (or more popularly known as sarong but with wheels) and a potty because my son won't poop in strange toilets, even though it cost up to RM500 a nite. We look like refugees ready to climb on the next boat out whenever it arrives taking us to a land where kids can immediately have jobs the moment the umblical cord is cut. That will last as long as your babies need milk like every 2-4 hours or that they are the poop producing machines from hell so that you have to change their diapers every 30mins, so that you don't smell like a petrol station restroom with people avoiding you like you are decomposing...with sores....and worm burrowing out of it.
Second phase is the tourist phase. Dis is where your kids are now a little more independant, hopefully a bit more sensible and can have adult food. Normally this happens ages 4 and up. However, this is will differ depending on how you bring up your kids. If your kids resemble Damien from the movie Omen, then not only do you not go into the tourist phase but you MUST take your child to church and stab them through the heart. How you raise your child is very important for you to keep your sanity. My mom uses emotional blackmail to psych herself into half murdering us whenever my brother and I step out of line. Dats becoz to her, how we behave is a reflection of how we were brought up by her. So its a reflection of her and her parents. Sorry to all those Dr Phil believer who believes in talking sense and trying to make a 3 year old understand why he shouldn't take a stick and poke a rabid dog. They don't get you and hence talking and trying to reason is a sign of weakness. How many of you of succeeded in this manner, put up your hands? I didn't think so.
You have to whoop your kids ass. The logic is simple. If you don't, someone else will. It could be bullies or gangsters or corp sharks or the state prison. Dis is not to say dat kids with their assess whooped will not end up in prison or be DVD pirates but there is definitely a less chance of them doing so. Phase 3 is when your kids grow up to be teenagers and hate you. That's what I call the dating phase, where you and your spouse get back your lives and start dating again. Your kids won't want to be seen with you let alone follow you out. So you get to go out, chill and have fun.
My son has the most angelic face when he was a kid. He still has it but now, I am on to him. He has these huge spot light eyes, one of the longest eye lashes and a pretty sharp nose. All courtesy of the Indian genes. However, when he was 1 to 3, he had another side which he never showed me. Once at a pasar malam, he threw a tantarum by lying on the gravel road and rolling around. Correct me if I am wrong but isnt that painful as hell? Nothing is more determined than a toddler testing his parent's bending point. Needless to say his mother gives in to all the time because he looks like Puss-in-Boots in Shrek 2 with his large eyes brimmed with tears that makes it look like pearls glistening softly in the sun....sigh.... He stopped his tantarums at 3, because I finally found out and whopped his ass.
My daughter is a lot more rough and tumble. She is really pretty with very dark pearl eyes and silky jet black hair. Flat nose though which came from me. Poor baby. She has been throwing tantarums and I have tried to..erm...you know talk sense to her. She is 7 now, still tantaruming. I know you may say that I am biased in my way of bringing up my kids and that I should be fair and practice what I preach and whoop both asses. To that I actually have to say that you will be ignored. I have lots of thing to say about these child having phases. This will help the young and new couples what they have to do to ensure their kids dont turn out to be Attila the Hun. So that the next time you see kids throwing a tantarum in public and the parents trying to talk sense into them, you will just walk over, pick the kid up and take them to church.
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