Friday, January 28, 2011

Super Dog.....NOT!!

I wrote a little bit about the dog that we got a year ago from my sis-in-law from Kuantan. He is a mongrel or mutt or pariah...whatever your fancy. The weird thing is that we share the same birthday, so as of last Dec, our puppy turned 1. His name is Boomer, one of the world's stupidest dogs.

I am not someone who jumps to conclusion without facts or evidence. Even then convincing me takes a bit, but when your dog starts to bite and eat your car's plastic number plates, I think that would qualify them as stupid or at least....dense!! I have changed my plates 4 times and he continues to chow on them. I have since refused to change them and if the police were to stop me, I will just feign ignorance and innocence. If they give me a ticket, I will gift wrap my dog for them.

He will be on a leash for most of the day and before you yell animal abuse, let me break it down for you. If allowed to run around, he will bite, eat, destroy our potted plants and the pot. Maybe it's urge to dig is too strong to subdue. There will be scratch marks on the wooden panels and gate. Once he bit through our auto-gate wires as to render our gate immobile.

Every night when I get back, he will be trashing on his leash trying to jump on me as if, the leash will magically disappear despite being around his neck for the better part of the day. So he will jump.....and get choked back by the chain. Jump....choke.....jump.....choke....At this point, you may think that instead of choking maybe the chain is tickling him. Got to be!!! Why else would he inflict self pain??

The moment I go near him, he will pee. On my shoe and pants. Not the "lift-up-hind-leg peeing stance. Just standing there on all fours and peeing. I read on the internet, it's because as a puppy it has issues holding back it's bladder and it's just excited to see me. I should be flattered and show him with affection. I tried that on my wife.....you don't wanna know.

He is also afraid of the thunder and rain...yes rain!! Whenever it rains....regardless of thunder, he will crawl under my car to seek shelter. I let him out every night so that he could run, sniff and pee. I guess it's just the animal kingdom instinct to pee on everything to mark their territory and possessions. Boomer will be darting from one car to the other, smelling, hind leg up....pee! Move to our neighbour's gate, sniff, sniff, hind leg up....pee!

I guess it's just a secret instinctual competition that dogs have with each other and is only known to them. They have a competition going on who is going to be the biggest, baddest, pee-on-the-most-items, dog of the world. Incidentally you don't see that so much in female dogs. Hmmmm........

So my dog is going around like a brown wad of sponge soaked in pee and he is fighting against time to get rid of it on as many items in the world. Don't even get me started on the butt sniffing thing. The next time I see an ad about dogs saving their master like Lassie, I am putting an axe through the TV. But not after I pee on it.

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