Monday, November 10, 2008

Quantum of Boredom

This weekend was 007 weekend. Meaning I dressed in my tuxedo and had my martini shaken, not stirred while racing through the countryside in my Aston Martin DBS with a absolutely impossibly beautiful 6 foot blond. Wait a minute, there is that baddie again bringing his car next to mine. Time to use my Omega wrist watch to fire a dart into his nostrils and watch his head blown clear off! Ok, now to activate my cars laser beams and cut off the tires on the other car. There he goes off the cliff!! Oh no, that helicopter has blown my tires as well and I am falling into a lake......

Whoa!! That's just my wife pouring cold water on me to wake me up!!

Yep, I am a HUGE James Bond fan. (If you didn't guess from the blazing 007 on the front of the blog...I dunno what to say to you!) I watched every movie and I remember a lot of the scenes and the lines. My favourite is when Sean Connery was caught by Auric Goldfinger, in "Goldfinger". Bond, "Do you expect me to talk?", Goldfinger "No Mr Bond, I expect you to die!". They just don't write things like that anymore!

However, my interest in 007 has waned a little since the sacking of Pierce Brosnan (he can't sing but he is my best Bond with Connery). I have nothing against Daniel Craig, but he is just not my idea of James Bond. He is very dark, sullen and have absolutely no sense of playfulness and humour. When he tried to seduce the MI6 field operative, Fields in the latest flick, it didn't even seem like he was doing it or that someone could fall for it. Just something in the script for both of them.

But Pierce could seduce, he could be cold, he could be passionate and he could be deadly, all the while being very classy. Casino Royale was ok once you got over the initial shock of how undashing James Bond was and how unclassy (or whatever the word is) he is, even when he tried desperately to be so. Daniel Craig could make a very good rugged hero, like Indiana Jones (Like, I said like. Don't go do it pls!) but he is not suave or desirable. He looks like someone who has a troubled life. The James Bond character had a troubled life but he could hide it. That's James Bond.

The Quantum of Solace story may get confusing and people may go off wondering what the hell happened. The action directing was really poor. The camera was too near and the action was too blurry. I think it is some new fangled artsy thing but I hope it doesn't catch on. It gives the impression that the stunts were fake and they were just trying to confuse the viewers, which they did. So let me try to explain the setting of the story.

James Bond first battled the evil organization SPECTRE which stood for Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion (hey it was the 60s), in the movie "Dr. No" in 1962. That was his primary villain. Then when the cold war was at its height, they switched to the communist Soviets. When the war thawed and Russian was a friend, they targeted all kinds of other villains from rich psychomaniacs to North Koreans.

So now, they are reverting to the villainous organization again so that James Bond can be apolitical (I guess they want to win over viewers in China, Korea and Middle East, who knows). So they created a new bad man, which is an organization that is not politically aligned to any ideology or country. Sort of neutral stand (that's wat apolitical means...DUH!).

If you don't follow the James Bond books or movies, you will be very frustrated at the end of the movie but if you know it, then the future of 007 is truly exciting. However, Quantum of Solace was a BIG disappointment and boredom for me. It had not the flair and formula of James Bond. Casino Royale was supposed to be the first Bond book and movie and it kinda took Bond back to the beginning. So hopefully with that premise out of the way, they can go back to the old formula. Here's hoping to other movies and hoping a new Bond will emerge and replace Daniel Craig.

But...I have to save another anatomically impossible buxom brunette from the clutches of the evil oil baron. I am going to shoot this grappling hook from my belt, swing over to grab her and use the magnetic field generated from my Omega to deflect the bullets being shot at us by the world's most blind army. I crash through the glass panes, into a tank and ride through Budapest. To escape, I will jump into this Lotus Esprit, sink into the Danube to rendezvous later with a British submarine in the Mediterranean.

The name is Bond, James Bond.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Aiya...I is taught I can writes somethings about this Kuantan of Sorrys....but you is alreadys writes....bevermind la....I is can safes my time...hehe

Alwyn said...

Baarger, take me damn long to decipher your ah beng language. Damn good man!

Anonymous said...

err....wat is be decipher?? I is not understands....is be that flemish?