It is said that you can't choose your relatives and you have no idea how much that statement rings true especially when you have really funny folks suddenly showing up as your relatives. Now i don't mean to diss my relatives but I do have two fairly new brothers-in-law who have joined our madhouse. They are husbands of my wife's sisters. My wife is the 2nd in a family of 7 siblings and the elder brother-in-law and I have always held the fort, doing the chores, the ferrying and also most of the housework (ok I hardly do any housework but I always have very good ideas). The youngest 2 sisters finally got married and these 2 are some of the wierdest and funniest around.
Let's call them Bola and Tat because that's their names and I am not making up their names! BTW, Bola means Ball in Malay. I have no idea what Tat means.
Anyway, Bola is married to Jessy and Tat is married to Angeline. I love my sisters-in-law dearly and since I have no sisters of my own, these two who are youngest were the ones that I am closest to. I am very glad to say that they endear themselves to my wife and me. So all their major happenings in life have always included us and I am very proud of that fact.
Let's start the torture with Tat. Angeline is the youngest and when I first met my wife, Melissa, she was only 11. She was fascinated with a Chindian as they have never met one in Kuantan (go google it). I will write later about how I met my in-laws and how Chindians get treated in the 1990 of Kuantan. Anyway, we use to take these Angeline and Jessy with us whenever we went out dating. I actually can't remember when there was ever a time I went out dating my wife without these two tagging along but all this is to point to the fact that we are close to them and definitely take a very serious view of the life partner.
I first met Tat when he came to my house and called me "Brother-in-law". I really wanted to let it slide but COME ON!!!! You meet a guy for the first time and you call me brother-in-law????? For our foreign friends who call everyone by name, we Asians have a title for our elders and betters. All are called by titles and rarely by name. It is not wrong to call the name but very frowned upon and sounds very rude unless being given the green light to do so by said person. So, calling a total stranger by title is not something accepted by me. Since we are strangers and you are not married into the family, I said "Brother-in-law is not for you to call. You can call me Alwyn." I thought it was ok but I realized that my wife almost died when she heard that and quickly ushered him out of the bedroom. Oh yeah, he came in some wee hours of the morning (10am on a Saturday) and walked into my bedroom and call me the wrong thing! Sheesh!!!
Well this bro-in-law is a really mommy's boy. He is very devoted to his parents and younger sister but also to his wife. Which is a good thing. However, due to his devotion to his parents, he has hardly been exposed. For example, until about 2 months ago, he has never taken "sup kambing" or lamb soup which is VERY popular in Malaysia's supper life. Malaysian supper is a big way of life and we Chindians as well as ALL Malaysians swear by it.....except mommy's boy! Angeline is a very outgoing and adventurous person and likes to travel and shop whenver she can but Tat has only been to Singapore (which is 5 hours drive from Kuantan and 45mins by plane) twice. Once when he was 8 and the next time about 2 years ago.
He is also very clingy to Angeline. Everytime she is in KL to visit without him, he will call 2-3 times an hour asking things like what are you doing, have you eaten, what did you eat, why did you eat that, how did they make it, did it taste better than Kuantan, did it make you uncomftable, did you take a dump after dat, what colour was it, how come you not home yet, blah, blah, into telephone irritation and eternity!!! Once Angeline asked to check out her back to ensure you that she wasn't leaking since it was "that-time-of-the-month". Our genius actually walked to the back, lifted her t-shirt and peered into her ass as if the secret of the universe was written there!!! He then looked at the chair, peered again and then remarked loudly "Nope you are clean! No leakage." This was done in a restaurant so that everyone in the restaurant and their uncle knew what "time-of-the-month" it was! Sigh...typical example of common sense not very common. Still he is kind and very helpful.
Next we come to Kung Fu Panda's Po. Bola was called so because that's his name in Chinese. Directly translated, his name means Wide Ball. I dunno, maybe his family hated him or he really looked like a basketball when he was born. I think he looks like Po because he is genuinely unpretentious, good hearted and very easy going. He is also round, clumsy and causes accidents like that chap in that movie "God's Must be Crazy" who keeps knocking everything down.
He smokes and has burnt Jessy many times from his total clumsiness. My sister in law has burns on her hands and clothes to prove it. Once at a wedding, Jessy was wearing a long black scarf and they went up the stage to take a picture. When they walked down, he had the scarf stuck on his arm and nearly pulled Jessy down the stage, high heels, gown and all. She was striking a VERY un-ladylike pose when she stumbled in her evening wear.
He has also run over our toes many times with the baby pram and once broke my car seat handle as he was trying to lift the seat up. There are countless near "death" experiences with Bola Po that I have not the space and time to write.
But having said all that, I don't think I will trade these two for anyone....unless of course their wives will trade for them since will embarass her to death and the other will drive her life insurance premium through the roof!! All said and done, they are family and while we laugh at each other (actually more of me laughing at them), we also stick together. Let's hope their kids will outgrow their dads and be more cool!
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