I cannot live without the TV or movies. This is what my mom promised me. When I was in school, we only had TV very late in my childhood. Even then it was only a black & white TV. My favourite shows were "Combat", "Six Million Dollar Man", "Man from U.N.C.L.E", "Mission Impossible" and "Twilight Zone". We had comedies like "Gilligan's Island", "Happy Days", "Andy Griffith Show" and "Beverly Hillbillies". I can't remember many of the cartoons. There was of course the cheaper versions of Batman&Robin, Superman, etc but there was also Space Ghost, Blue Falcon and Dynomutt (I am NOT making this up) and Bird Man (come on! I have more creativity than this, if I were to make it up).
I would watch TV whenever I could, including taking a dump in a pot in front of the TV. My mom was so exasperated that one day she told me that technology would make the movie experience so much better and when I graduate or started working, I could watch anything I want, upside down, inside out, stark naked, whatever the hell I want. So, I am doing this to catch up for lost time.
We slowly graduated to colour TV and the likes of A-Team, Knight Rider, Misfit of Science and later of MacGyver. My first movie that I went to see was "Star Wars" and then "Battlestar Gallactica" where we had Starbuck (not plural so no coffee was involved) and Apollo battling Cylons (who must be programmed by the world's stupidest programmers). Those of you born after 1979 are missing so much!
The first movie I went to see without my parents was with my cousin Loke Yew when I was 11 (he was 12) and it was "Raiders of the Lost Ark". We took the bus ourselves, knew where to change buses and how far to walk. These days we won't even let our kids cycle down the road without an entourage of security guards worthy of any head of state, while talking into their sleeves, accompanying them. My love for the movies started then and my biggest hero till today is Indiana Jones (not namby pamby pretty boy "Use the Force" Luke Diaperwrapper".
I wanted to share some of my movie opinions with you now and in future articles. In this one, I want to start with Iron Man. I absolutely loved it! Rob Downey Jr was just perfect as the irresponsible playboy Tony Stark (he was a little short though) and I like Gwyneth as well (she and I are on a first name basis...its cool). It was inventive, funny and definitely well thought out. It didn't spend too much time trying to build the character so much that it leaves the actual action little time to pan out. One example was "Superman Returns". His costume was so lame and the "S" symbol was so small!! But back to the Iron Dude!
The introduction of the often misunderstood robotic hand in his lab, lent some humour and character. The bad guy was also delicious but a little predictable and I was hoping the middle eastern doctor would survive but it was a good reason for him to go. Bravo and I can't blinking wait for the sequel!
Our next silver screen adventure takes us to Gotham City where we meet "The Dark Knight". Batman is my favourite super hero of all time. Superman is too wimpy and Spiderman too poor. But Batman is one superhero that will not hesitate to kick your ass AND/OR kill you. Doesn't matter to this dark, rich, sinister hero. Also, he has no super powers and that makes him all the more scary.
In this movie, Batty Boy had to lock horns with the ultimate psycho, The Joker (not Ahmad Ismail) which was so very well played by Heath Ledger. I am sorry but Jack Nicholson's Joker was err...a joke (pardon the pun). The script was very well written and it pitt Joker's dark intentions against that of Batman. Since Batman was the good guy, he had to stand strong to ensure that he doesn't fall into Joker's trap and make the people of Gotham lose faith...or something like that. I was just SO into the bat bike or whatever the hell it was. I just want to know 2 things; where the hell can I buy one of those bikes and does it come with an iPod jack. That's all I need to know. Of course, let's not forget that this is like only my fav batmobile ever.
There was good fun and humour and Christian Bale (by far the best Batman) and Michael Caine were not only cool, they funny and had a lot of chemistry. I was also glad to see a little more of Morgan Freeman and enjoyed the way he kicked that blackmailinng sleazy lawyer into realization of what he is foolishly doing. Let's not forget Gary Oldman. Good show Commissioner! My only problem with this movie, the lead actress. Maggie Gyllenhaal is so NOT a lead! I wasn't a big fan of Katie Holmes but COME ON!!!! Her nose was as flat as mine! At least have the decency to do the Hollywood thing and FIX your FACE!! For all things sacred! This is Bruce Wayne's love interest we are talking about. They should have gotten Ashley Judd! Other than that, it was a fantastic movie with great gadgets. I gotta get me that microphone handphone and sonic glasses.
My final review for this segment, was a good ol' cartoon that was not 3D like the Teenage Mutated Ninja Numbskulls or had anything fancy. Just fun and laughter in an ol' fashion cartoon, fit for the whole family. I am talking about "Kung Fu Panda". Jack Black who to me is a crude, misfit and trying-too-hard kinda slapstick actor, lends his voice talent FANTASTICALLY here. Maybe that's what he should do, stay in the background. Every joke was not only side-splitting, tear-inducing, loud-cackling funny, it was also meant for all in the family. It wasn't too adulty like "Happily Stupid Feet" (penguins don't SING! And if the zoo or circus found a dancing penguin, they will not put a homing device to it so that they could track it home, they will put it on Oprah or any show to make millions. So there!).
The jokes came in droves and it was funny for everyone. I went to see with my families and we all went crazy! Also we got free tickets courtesy of Edwin, new boyfriend of my baby cousin sister but that's another story. In case, you missed that, we got FREE Premiere tickets, Nyeaah, Nyeahh!
The lovabla Panda named Po tells the true story of how us aerodynamic warriors are the true fighters. Those slim, skinny, hard abs idiot are just for show, they can't really fight. So FIGHT ON PO!!!!
That's it for this time. Stay tuned as I bring you the Chindian's view of a Chinese mummy and what a Chindian would do if he went to the Center of the Earth. (Hint; bring beer!).
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