I get this question a lot as a Chindian and I am sure that all my mixed parentage brethren get the same. The question is what culture do I belong to? Chinese, Indian, Malay, Malaysian? What is Malaysian anyway? This social question is very prevalent in a melting pot type of country. The region as a whole is assimilating. We have Malays who have actually originated from Sulawesi and archipelago of Indonesia and of course Chinese, Indians, Armenians (in Penang), Arabs and some Portugese being the more popular immigrants.
But what about a Chindian? What culture do we follow?
That's the best part of being a Chindian. We have the best of both worlds. Both my cultures are one of the oldest surviving and more successful cultures. Between the Indians and the Chinese, we literally invented the world. We invented ways to progress a language and alphabet or character. We invented the modern foundation of warfare, gun powder and guns. We invited navigation with the stars and the compasses and other stuff that I will not go into great details.
I have the option to look at both cultures and pick the best (or what I think its the best). For example, I love eating with my fingers and if I follow the Chinese culture I probably won't be too good in that and just know how to use chopsticks. I can use both chopsticks and my fingers in a culinary experience which includes curry and herbal soup!
But there are certain aspects of my cultures that I don't understand. For example, in the Indian subcontinent (India, Bangladesh and Pakistan), you see grown men walking around holding hands!!! What is the #&@*$ is going on??!?!?! That is a great example of what NOT to follow from my Indian culture. To me, I cannot think of any instance where it is ok to hold another man's hand!
You only do that if you are shaking his hand in greeting or if both of you are gay. Even if you are holding your son's hand, you have to constantly look at people and say "This is my son, just hanging out with my your son. I am in no way a pervert or gay.". If you are straight and just chilling out with your friends, a guy DOES NOT EVER, EVER, EVER hold another man's hand!
There are times, these Indians (I call of them Indians even though they may be from Pakistan or Sri Langka or Bangladesh. They are all Indians, who the heck they are trying to kid! The difference is in the ethnicity, race or language) men will be hooking pinkies and walking around! No wonder arrange marriage is such a integral component of the Indian culture. Which self respecting girl will get turned on by a guy holding another guy's hand?!?!?!
Despite all that, we are still the second largest population in the world! Go figure!
As for the Chinese culture, well, there is too much emphasis on money and material things. Most Chinese guys would always want to save enough money to buy a house and a car before they decide to marry. I think that is all positively bull-crap. To me its just excuses to delay the marriage. Most men have intimacy issues and I will write about it later.
Just look at Chinese New Year. We welcome the Money God who is like Santa Claus and he arrives on CNY eve. We don't sweep on the first day, as we may accidentally sweep away fortune that the Money God left us. Every CNY day, the Money God's fortune seems to have a lot of spiders making their homes in it and looks suspiciously like dirt. However, I subscribe to this tradition as it means I didn't have to sweep the house that morning.
Then there is the ang-pow or red packet, given by the married to the not-married. Not surprisingly I liked this when I was a kid and hate it now that I have kids on my own. So, I have my likes and dislikes. When my elders don't like something that I do, I just say it is my "other" culture.
There are more stories and interesting traditions that I can share and I will share with you in my other parts. If you don't like it, it's just my culture!
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