Saturday, October 25, 2008

Pakistan - victim of western propaganda or just a crazy place?

When I was working in SAP, once of the countries under my care was Pakistan. Don't ask me why Pakistan was managed by Malaysia but it did. I worked very to get it out of my care, but to no avail. I wanted to quit because of it. I mean I watch CNN and BBC quite diligently and its a country in constant turmoil. Everyone's shouting, angry, burning tires and cars because they are unemployed and the whole government is corrupt. Isn't that what CNN and all the western media says? If you can't trust these guys, who can you trust?? Right?? WRONG!!!! That is SOOOOO WRONG!!!

My first trip to Pakistan was so filled with dread. I was on a SIA flight to Lahore and I was just cursing and wishing that live Jurassic-Park-sized maggots were feasting on my bosses brains right at that moment! The flight wasn't full, thank goodness for that because even with a half full flight, the aroma from my fellow passengers are just to die with, not for!!! I am not making this up but on the next flight, we had Vicks and "Minyak Angin Cap Kapak". To my foreign readers, its an ointment to relieve headaches, colds and many other ailments. Older people swear by it and for us, it kept our senses sane. Google it!!

I was with Nenci (yes that's how she bloody spells it), our Campaign Manager and my other friend and colleague Chee Keong (CK) was already there training our partners. I was half expecting him to be losing a limb or at least having bruises when I met him. We landed and we was immediately assaulted by this hot gust of wind on the air bridge. Immigration had many armed guards and most of them look like they can blow something up or relatives of Osama. Talk about stereotyping. I could feel my spirits sinking by the minute.

When we finally got out of the airport with our luggage intact (I was expecting to lose half my luggage actually), we were whisked away by our hotel transport. At that moment went we stepped out, Lahore was hit by a 100km/h sand storm. If you have never been in a sand storm, let me describe in to the best of my abilities as an English educated amateur writer and that is, it's no fun.

We had to hang on to each other while clinging to our suitcases and had sand blown into every orifice on our face. I have never had fine sand up my nostrils before. Anyway, the hotel was a 5-star hotel called Pearl Continental and we were put up in a USD800 a night suite. Thank you SAP!!! The security was a nuisance and the service lousy for a place of such stature. Maybe they didn't like us. But the room was gorgeous and they had 800+ channels on cable including the Playgirl channel! Hey there were nude girls, I ain't gonna complain!

Anyway, I actually REALLY enjoyed Lahore. When I was finally dragged out to some of the touristy places, I was pleasantly surprised (of course I expected to be assaulted, robbed or maybe even blown up so anything less than that including someone spitting at me, would have made me very happy). People were friendly, they love Malaysians especially Tun Dr Mahathir. They all think he is a genuine statesman and hero. In the shops, they were very hospitable and I felt very guilty stereotyping them as terrorist or petty thieves.

I bought a lot of shirts and Punjabi clothes for my wife. It was cheap and of very good quality. The food was really good too. Mostly grilled and tandoor stuff pretty much Northern Indian style but these people can't cook vegetables at all. It's either raw or pickled. Apparently vegetables are for peasants and it is considered rude to serve a guest vegetables instead of meat and seeing that my host were very gracious, I had meat ALL the way.

There were some characteristics that made Lahoris (or maybe it is the whole of Pakistan) very different. For starters, meal times are normally pushed back. Breakfast is normally at 9am and work typically starts at 10am, even though officially it starts at 9am. Lunch is around 2.30 to 3pm and dinner is after 8.30 to 9pm. So you can imagine our surprised when we went to the hotel restaurant at 7.30pm for dinner and it is not opened. But being hospitable, they immediately sat us down and made the kitchen cook faster. Dinner typically finishes at 11pm and we go to bed around 1am. However, I would not recommend going into any roadside restaurant.

Do look for establishments of some reputation, with air conditioning and good service. There are many and they need not be expensive. There is a restaurant called Freddy's that servers very good lamb and another which serves a buffet of Lahori dishes. I can't remember the name but the restaurant resembles a village mud house. Another great place to go is called Cuckoo's Nest and it is in the old city with where we sat at the rooftop overlooking the old fort. That was so like one of those movie settings where you see people chillin' out at the rooftop.

Chinese women are a novelty. They will stare and come very close to you as they don't seem to understand personal space. Some even took pictures clandestinely, pretty much like how a secret agent on surveillance would do. Next time, I was going to put Nenci on a chair and ask for payment for every photo taken with her. She was treated like royalty into any shop we stepped into.

While it is not considered rude to bare your arms, it is frowned upon to wear shorts. No one wears shorts including the guys or even when it was about 45 degree C! Another weird thing is that the men from the poorer category, tend to hold hands and pinkies. I seriously don't understand this!!!!

I made very good friends in Lahore and I truly enjoyed my stay there being totally safe from any harm. However, that was only the first 2 trips. Next ones were pretty scary but until then, I am going to put on my dhoti, check out some tandoori chicken and sing Kuch Kuch Hota Hai! AND STOP TOUCHING MY HAND!!!!

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