To Fast or not To Fast

As my profile mentioned, I look Malay due to my mixed parentage. This has actually brought a lot of positive points. Whenever I find myself in a govt office in need of their service (ie Registration Dept, Immigration Dept, Postal service, IRD, Police, etc), I actually get pretty decent service. This is back in the old days when our govt servants were much more racist and race symphatizing. How things have changed. Now our efficient govt servants give crap service regardless of race. We definitely have come a long way.
Anyway, I usually get very good service and lots of help until they see my name. By then it's too late and they have to serve me. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Not sure why I am laughing. As with all things in life, the good comes with some inconvenience. Apart from looking Malay, I can also speak very good Malay and can pass of as one very easily. Hence the inconvenience during the holy month of Ramadan. I almost always get questioned every year but the last 4-5 years. Maybe its becoz of the sudden influx of foreigners that they now realize that our Muslim brethren would not be so STUPID as to eat illegally or un-holy-ly in public during this month.

Though it was inconvenient, there were some pretty memorable moments that I have encountered. Back in the early 90's while waiting for my results, I was working as a data entry clerk in Jln Tungku Abdul Rahman. Every lunch hour, I will get my box lunch from this makcik who has a stall of nasi campur (mixed rice) along the lane next to Shiraz restaurant. During the first day of fasting, I did my usual lunch appearance and she was visibly upset. She didn't serve me immediately, i guess with the hope that I would go away. When it was clear that I was very adamant of getting my lunch evident by the frothing of my mouth, she looked at me with a sad look and said "You shouldn't eat and you should have strong faith. Prayer and penintence is important", blah, blah into Shocksville for me!

It was then i realized that she thought I was Malay. When I told her that I wasn't Malay, she gave a super disappointed look that all mothers have when they wanna emotional blackmail you into guilt and said "Not only is your faith weak but you are lying as well". She kept going on about wanting to save me from hell, and bringing me back to the light. I was already seeing a god damn light with all my hunger! She was going on about all this at the top of her voice. Everyone looked at me and I couldnt just walk away lest I was handed over to a lynch mob who would hang me with rubber bands and suffocate me with stryofoam lunch boxes!

I had to show her my crucifix and IC just to convince her to give me my freaking beef rendang and fried fish!! When she was convinced, I became a side show freak as she called all the neighboring stall owners to come watch the circus main event. The eating Malay!! Of coz, I did get a free lunch for my troubles.

I was also reminded of another funny incident recently when I bumped into an old business friend of mine. His name was Anwar (no relation to de butt-loving MP) and he was not in the mood of fasting or even being kosher. His views being (and i FULLY support this view) that on judgement day, he refuses to believe that his dietary habits will be called into questions. There is God saying "Sure you blew up scores of innocent people and children, but at least you ate right!".

So my good buddy and I were eating during the fasting month at an Indian banana leaf rice shop one year. I said grace and made the sign of the cross (as we Catholics do) and proceeded to eat. As I started, I noticed this Malay guy all dressed as with the robe and a white skull cap, with a tag that said he is from the Religious Dept walking straight for us. Seeing me say grace he proceeded to make a bee line towards my friend. I was in utter panic knowing that he is going to get into serious trouble and with so people many watching. Heck, I may be in trouble too just by being there. But that was nothing compared to what Anwar looked like. His eyes were wide with fear and he had gone very white for that few seconds. I thought he was going to pass out but then he did something fantastically remarkable. He made the sign of the cross, bowed his head and pretended to say grace!!!!!

I was super stunned but not more than our poor Tn Haji religious officer. He looked embarrassed and quickly turned away and walked out. I thought that was so freaking funny that I almost fell off the chair both in amusement and relief! So in time to come, I learned which places to avoid and which places are great for eating without hassle. As we approach the holy month of Ramadan, you can find me where the char siew and siew york are. Occassionally I do enjoy some pork knuckles. Join me?